Page 19 of Love is Grand

Cal sat next to me in a pair of athletic shorts, no shirt, his firm chest on display, and took a sip. “This blend is good.” Just when I thought he was skillfully sidestepping any mention of my mom life, he said, “You know I get that, moms needing strength. My mom raised the three of us on her own.”

I nodded, knowing the story from Adam and Cal. Their dad died when they were toddlers, leaving their mom alone with triplets.

“Adam was our caretaker. He seemed to take my dad’s absence the hardest. I guess that’s why he struggled so much when Becca took her own life. It’s not that I didn’t feel it in my gut. Every time I think about her, it crushes me. But Becca was Becca, and she struggled. We all did our best to help.”

Cal had never talked about his pain this way. When I looked at him, it was as if he wasn’t real. Rich, good-looking, always up for a good time. Seeing this side of him made me look at him in a new light.

“I think it’s why I want to live so hard,” he said. “To suck the life out of every moment. For Becca. Since she can’t do it, I want to do it for both of us.”

I nodded again, unsure what to say. I had no idea what he really meant. I was struggling just to survive, barely able to enjoy these fleeting moments between us.

“Anyway, enough talk about all that.” He took another swig of coffee. “My view is too gorgeous to get caught up in life’s tragedies.”

When I looked up, his gaze wasn’t on the flora or the ocean in the horizon. It was on me.

I dropped my gaze to my coffee, needing to catch my breath. When I tried to look back at him, but I couldn’t. It was in these moments I knew better than to show my inner feelings.

“If you could, I’d have you tell your dad how great this is,” he said, holding up his cup. “You know, I don’t mind you saying anything.”

Horrified, I shook my head. “I can’t. You know this. It just wouldn’t be right for my parents to know. Their heads would fill up with ideas about us, about a future, and this is ... well, it is what it is.”

We’d had the conversation once before. Back in June when I’d first spent the night with him at the Ritz ...

I had been lying in bed, twisted up in the sheets, satisfied in a way I’d never been before.

Cal had moved up in the bed. Taking me in his arms, he whispered, “I like this.” He held me a bit tighter, so my head rested on his shoulder. “I could come back anytime. Or you could take a break and come see me.”

I shook my head as my heart pounded hard, begging me to say yes. Instead, I’d asked about the woman he was here with last time.

“We have a good time together,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “But I like this.”

I didn’t know what any of it meant or how to handle it. I was a naive single mother, with little to no relationship experience other than a failed marriage.

Realizing I was in over my head, I’d said, “This is a good time between us, but that’s it. No one can know, and it can’t be anything more than this ...”

Since then, I’d become Cal’s vacation booty call, and was happy enough with that. It was all I could expect from him, or give to him. I’d never asked about the society woman again, but I was certain that if she weren’t still around, another woman just like her was in her place.

“And what is it?” Cal narrowed his eyes, parroting my words back at me.

“You know, a fun time?”

He blinked, then nodded. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have fun more often.”

It was then it dawned on me, he didn’t mean more of a relationship. He meant more booty calls.

I almost burst out laughing, but stopped myself. Afraid I’d lose the tiny piece of Cal I had, I swallowed my chuckle. “This is as much as I can give.”

He took my empty cup and set it down on the table, then hoisted me onto his lap. As I straddled him, he ran his fingers through my hair. “I’ll take it. Whatever you’re giving.”

And there, in the most beautiful place on earth, surrounded by luxury I’d never be able to afford myself, he started kissing me, and I fell deep in the moment. My head rang with the word dummy, but my heart soared like a dolphin leaping out of the ocean.

Pulling back, he said, “Dinner tonight?”

“I have to see if my mom will take Weez again. She probably will. They adore her more than me.”

“Impossible.”

“Enough with the compliments,” I said, then kissed Cal again to shut him up.

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