Page 55 of Tempting Fate

I tell him that I thought he was dead.

By the time I get to the part where I regain consciousness and discover that I’m handcuffed to the bed, Zeke’s fury has expanded into a palpable presence that fills the room. Heavy. Oppressive. Teeming with the violent need to avenge my suffering.

It affects me.

My face is hot, yet my body is cold. Every inch of my skin is covered in goosebumps. My fingers curl into fists as I fight the growing urge to run from what I need to say next. I know that I’m at the part Zeke’s going to have the hardest time understanding, so I shrug off his hand and sit up on the bed to face him. It’s the least he deserves.

Zeke mirrors my position, sitting in front of me with his legs crossed. He laces our fingers. I look away from our entwined hands and into his eyes as I carry on with my story.

In a soft voice, I finally admit what I tried to avoid saying last night. “He made me think that Hugh had killed you, and that was it for me. I was done. I didn’t care if I got out alive, not if you were gone. What was the point in trying to survive without you to share my life with?”

“Metukà shelì, you’re never getting rid of me, ’specially that easy. It’ll take more than a bullet to end me—even death ain’t game enough to get between us. I can promise you that.”

“I’ll take that promise in writing.” I place my hands on either side of his face and peer straight in his eyes as I say, “I can survive a lot. Losing you is not on that list.”

“Ditto, sweet thing, fuckin’ dit-to.”

We smile at each other, then reality encroaches, and my momentary happiness slides off my face. “When I realised that you were still alive, I tried to bargain with Alex for your life. That’s why I submitted. That’s why I undressed for him. Let him touch me. I wanted to do everything I could to keep you alive, to make sure that the Shamrocks, when they came, would be safe, to stop him from taking me to a secondary location. At the time, it made sense…” I trail off, swallowing deep when ice fills my veins at the memory of Alex’s arrogance. “He’s a master manipulator. I fell for his lies, but everything I did was for a good reason.”

“You saved yourself.”

“Did I?” I shrug. “It didn’t feel like that last night when I climbed out that window and found Slash waiting for me. I felt like I’d let you down.”

“Never.” I clear my throat, rolling my tense shoulders before I start the hardest part. Zeke senses my discomfort. He grabs my hands again and runs his thumbs over my knuckles. “You’ve gotta stop worryin’ about my feelings here, Lily.”

After taking a deep breath, I push the words from my mouth as quickly as I can. Every syllable tastes like dirt, my throat is dry as ash. “Offering Alex my submission felt like a betrayal. Willingly showing him my body, letting him touch me, offering myself as a distraction… I guess I’m worried that you’re going to look at me differently. A woman who’s been violated is much easier to love than a woman who bartered her body for freedom.”

Nerves twanging, I wait for his reaction to my confession.

He bursts into laughter.

Deep, belly-rumbling laughter.

“What’s so funny?” I mumble in a small voice.

Have I finally pushed him over the edge?

Tears run down his face when he continues laughing.

I snatch my hands out of his, appalled that he would think this is funny.

How can he find amusement in this?

I thought he would be furious at me, disgusted with me.

I don’t understand his reaction.

“I’m fuckin’ sorry. I know it’s not funny.”

He tries to contain himself, wiping his face with his hands, unable to meet my eyes. Eventually, Zeke composes himself enough to look at me. I’m upset and confused by his reaction, but also glad that he hasn’t called me a slut and stormed off.

“So, why are you laughing?” I ask softly.

“It’s just, it’s just… I always knew you had us all by the balls. It was fuckin’ funny to hear you prove it.”

At his comment, I find myself smiling a little. “You don’t think I’m a slut? That I cheated? You’re not mad?”

“No. Fuckin’. Way,” he replies with absolute certainty, his laughter dying as he studies me. “Not at you anyway… I’m angry as fuck that you had to resort to somethin’ like that to get away from the cunt. I hate the idea of him touching you in any way that you didn’t want. I’m pissed off that he managed to get his hands on you when we have a whole fucking MC protectin’ you. And I’m ready to bloody well kill whoever helped him slip out of our hands at the house… but I’m fuckin’ proud of you. You didn’t barter your body for your freedom, you used your wits to beat him at his own game.” I’m taken aback at his response, and since I can’t believe that he is as cool with this as he’s acting, I flinch when his voice hardens. “You didn’t tell me how the dickhead really ended up shot, though.”

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