Page 56 of Tempting Fate

In that instant, Zeke is back to business.

Despite his serious expression, I laugh at the memory of being able to inflict pain on Alex again. “He was trying to play mind games with me after I handcuffed him—told me that you suffer from the knowledge that you’ll eventually lose me to Slash because he’s a better match for me.” The anger that darkens Zeke’s expression makes me swallow hard, then I forge on. “He tried to convince me that you wouldn’t want his sloppy seconds yet again.” Zeke quirks an eyebrow at me when I say that. He knows he was my first lover. “Turns out he believed he’d taken my virginity. He didn’t appreciate it when I set him straight.”

“Good. Fuck him. I’m over the moon that you allowed me the honour.”

I nod vigorously in agreement as I add. “Someone knocked on the window and I needed to distract him.”

“Toker,” he reminds me of the only man we know with the audacity to make a move like that. “No idea why he thought it’d work, but apparently he was knockin’ on every window he passed on his way to his sniper’s perch.”

The mention of my crazy cousin makes me smile. “I disguised the sound of the knocking by shooting him and mouthing off about you and Slash torturing him, then the power went off and the blind went up. Figuring that the coast was clear, I climbed out of the window. I was picking my way over the gravel path on my bare feet when Slash yelled out to me.”

I awkwardly flop backward on the bed, emotionally drained, but happy to have the whole thing out in the open. “That’s everything that happened, I promise.”

Unfurling himself like an agitated lion, Zeke stretches his frame over mine, careful not to put too much weight on me. He kisses me, avoiding my stitches, mindful of my bruises, then pauses to gauge my reaction to his proximity. When I tilt my head to one side and look up at him, he softly kisses me again. I wait for his next move. He simply stares down at me with reverence in his eyes.

I decide it’s time that I take the lead.

With a hand on either side of his face, I pull his mouth to mine.

This time, our kiss is hard and deep.

My lip splits.

The sting sends a shiver through me.

I taste blood.

Zeke.

Love.

Pulling back after a few minutes, he looks at me. “How are you handlin’ what you did? I know it can’t have been easy for you.”

“It wasn’t. I wanted to throw up the entire time... still do. Like I said, at the time I thought it was justified, but afterward, I started to worry that you’d hate me for it.”

Zeke sucks his bottom lip into his mouth to remove the blood that stained his skin during our kiss. My tongue darts out to catch a droplet that wells at the edge of my cupid’s bow, and he bends forward to clear my skin of the remaining metallic elixir.

“You thought I’d hate you?”

After I nod, we examine each other in silence, eyes darting, truth seeking.

“Don’t think I could ever hate you, ’specially not for somethin’ like savin’ yourself,” my man offers in a tone that tells me he resents my lack of faith in him. “You thought I was shot, Lil, and all you had for comfort was the vague idea that the Shamrocks would come for you eventually.”

“I don’t know if I could do it again.” I press my lips to Zeke’s, needing to feel him before my final confession. “Every time I close my eyes, I can see him. His voice lives in my head, unfailingly critical as always. I can feel his hands on me. His fingers in me. His cologne surrounds me. My body feels like I’m covered with his filth again. I’m poisoned. Toxic.”

As I admit how much yesterday shook me up, my skin flares with the crawling sensation again. I curl my right hand into a fist, the desire to grab a razor ratcheting up to a new level. Cutting is my main coping mechanism—for better or worse—and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully escape the urge.

Adrenaline pumping, the need to drain my blood fills me. As desperation floods my veins, I push Zeke away, determined to hide somewhere until I get my emotions under control.

Preferably in a hot shower.

A six-foot deep hole.

Somewhere.

Anywhere.

As long as it’s away from Zeke.

---