“Zeke... you can’t just?—”
“Yes, I can.” Speaking over her protest, my voice is filled with lethal promise when I say, “Told you a long time ago that we’re destiny on steroids. I won’t give up on us—not now, not ever.”
“I don’t trust you.”
Heart in my throat, I ignore my guilt and kiss her hard. “I know.”
“I don’t believe your promises that things will change.”
“I know.” My words are inadequate, yet they’re all I have until I can prove my intentions with my actions. “But I can regain your trust and make you believe in me if you give me time.”
“I don’t have any faith that peace is possible between the three of us.”
Lily’s confession creates an agonising rupture in the middle of my chest. Hanging my head, the knowledge that she faces a future where she must balance my love for her with the love she has for the man I made her marry makes it impossible to meet her eyes. I would give anything to go back to the night she lost out baby and change my reaction, but I can’t. The best I can do now is find a way to provide my sweet thing with the peace she craves.
That I can give her... once my list is complete.
Once I’m the Adjudicator.
“I know, sweet thing....” The yearning I feel to protect her from any further pain as a consequence of my past mistakes darkens my tone. “I can regain your trust, make you believe, give you faith in me. Everything else is up to your husband.” Pausing, I run my hands over her rounded belly. Lily leans into my touch, and wordlessly proves to me that she trusts me more than she realises. “I’ll be here for you and our children.” Metukà shelì licks her bottom lip, then she visibly swallows as I tell her, “This baby means the world to me. So does Garrett. He bears no responsibility for the bullshit surrounding his birth. If Slash won’t step up, I will.”
I watch her emotions flit across her beautiful face.
Love.
Hope.
Worry.
Fear.
Doubt.
The moment she gives into her misgivings, I realise that reclaiming her heart is going to take more time and effort than I first thought. Lily might trust that I’ll do my best to keep her physically safe, but she holds no belief in the delicacy with which I will handle her heart. My missteps have shattered her soul. The girl who once looked at me like I’d hung the moon has been turned into a woman with zero desire to lean on any man.
Well, not just any man.
Specifically, me... and if her previous comments are an accurate indication, Slash.
The two men who should give her strength have become her weakness.
As if to prove my point, Lily says, “You should go.”
“Mightn’t be able to claim you in the light, but I’ll be back as soon as it’s dark.” It goes against every instinct, but when it proves impossible for me to let her go of my own volition, I allow my sweet thing to pull my arms away from her body herself without protest. She moves away from me. My heart skips a beat, and my mouth runs dry. Scrambling for a reason to stay just a little longer, I tell her, “Need you to keep up the pretence that I’m dead.”
“Sure.”
My eyebrows draw tight at Lily’s easy agreement. “I’ll be back tonight.”
She shrugs.
It’s a gut punch that strips my lungs of oxygen.
“Be careful, Zeke.” Lily brushes her hair from her shoulder and tightens the sash of her dressing gown. “Stay safe out there.”
When our eyes meet, she widens her stance and just her chin.
Knowing that Lily isn’t in the head space to hear any of my excuses, I settle for telling her, “You need me... just hit the button on the scalpel and say Lazarus.” I fix my gaze on her bracelet with unspoken purpose. “I’ll be with you as soon as I can, and if I can’t, one of my curia will come.”