Page 17 of Seizing Control: Part Two

So far, I am winning this war...

And the best part is that with Layla and her resources on my side, it is unlikely take as long to return to Lily as I’d initially feared.

3

LILY

Eight days later

“You’re very quiet, mo ulaidh bheag,” Crystal muses as she slides me a plate loaded with pancakes smothered in butter. She sprinkles sugar over the stack then adds a squeeze of lemon. I finish burping Garrett, patting his butt when he fusses, then gently cradle him in the crook of one arm so I can pick up my fork. Leaning across the table, my cousin tries to spear the first pancake, but my mother-in-law slaps him upside the head. “Wait ya turn, lad.”

“I’m a hungry boy,” Toker protests. “Just finished a three-day ride with no one, but Cub for company... I deserve your cookin’—” He yawns wide, and uses it to camouflage his renewed attempt to slide my pancakes on to his plate at the same time. “—'twas the only thing keepin’ me sane for that last stretch.”

“Eejit.” This time when Crystal hits him, it’s hard enough to make his eyes water. Shaking her head, she spins around. The heels of her boots click on the parquet flooring as she heads back to the kitchen, grumbling loudly, “I’ll bring ya the next batch.”

“Must be nice,” my cousin mutters. “Always havin’ Mumma C in your corner... even when you’re rippin’ out her son’s heart.”

“Jesus, Toker,” Nadia chides him. Her fork clangs on the table when she chucks it at him before skidding off the edge to land on the floor. “Harsh much?”

“Sorry, Cherub... I’m grumpy and tired—shouldn’t be takin’ it out on you.” With apology in his gaze, he glances my way, then swallows hard. I grimace when his chin does the Cherub family’s trademark wobble and pass my son to Wyatt. From his seat next to me, my brother eagerly accepts his nephew, then he helps me slide out my chair so I can round the end of the table to sit next to Toker.

“What’s wrong?” My backside skims the seat as I find myself dragged onto my cousin’s lap. Once he has me settled sideways, he wraps his arms around my ribs and buries his face in my hair. Stroking the top of his head, I whisper, “Talk to me?”

His hold tightens on me. The fine hairs on my body stand on end. Foreboding crashes through me, a denunciation of the secret I’ve kept for more than a week as I’ve waited for Zeke to return to me. Every night, I do my best to avoid sleep, so I’m ready to ambush him as soon as he appears. For eight sunrises, I’ve awoken with the knowledge that my first love remains gone.

Intentionally.

As the days pass by, I’m acting more like a junkie in need of a fix than the strong, protective mother that I want to be, even though I am solid in my plan to move into a home of my own as soon as Nadia can arrange a meeting with my realtor and the elusive owner of the house that I wish to purchase a street over from my husband’s.

It’s the perfect solution.

Close enough to allow Slash to be a father if he chooses.

Far enough away to provide the independence I crave.

Warm breath rushes over my neck when Toker orders, “All y’all needa fuck off.”

Clasping the phoenix pendant that hangs from my necklace, I flinch when Nadia’s expression turns nuclear. She pretends not to see my pleading look as she narrows her eyes, pulls her arm back, and lines up Toker’s head with her butter knife. Thankfully, Cub appears out of nowhere to subdue her. He shepherds her out of the dining chair, then he loops his arm over her shoulders, picks up her breakfast plate, and directs her toward the rumpus room.

“Come on,” Wyatt urges moments before there’s a mass exodus from the dining area. He holds Garrett tight to his chest and peers down at me with his eyebrows raised. “You good here?”

Despite the tension emanating from our typically even-keeled cousin, I tell him, “I’m fine.”

With a sharp nod, my younger brother pulls the glazed French doors together. As soon as we’re alone, Toker’s control snaps. He slides me off his lap and on to the seat I was originally going to sit in, then surges back to his feet. From one wall to the other, he paces. Fingers linked at the base of his neck, he strides back and forth, his lips moving with words that he doesn’t verbalise.

“Should I get Hunter?” I quip when this goes on for another minute. With my head cocked to the side, I continue. “He can read your lips, translate for me...” As I trail off to give him the opportunity to respond, Toker exhales heavily. My temper flares, with guilt hot on its heels. “Seriously, Benny... talk to me. You guys rode into Perth in the middle of the night without an explanation or any warning, slept for a few hours, then you accused me of ripping out Slash’s heart. Forgive me if I’m wavering between the desire to hug you and throw my shoe at your head.”

“Lil cuz.” Another noisy exhale visibly deflates him. Shoulders sagged with his chin wobbling, Toker drags his dining chair to the head of the table He swings it around and straddles it backward. Propping his chin on the back rest, he stares at me with a glassy expression that deepens the longer he keeps his gaze fixed on mine. “Shit’s bad.”

The question that’s been burning the tip of my tongue since my cousin and Cub randomly woke the house up in the early hours of this morning with their loud Harley engines finally stutters free. “Did Slash—” I drag in a breath that burns before I force the rest of the words out. “Did Slash... come back with you?”

“Um.” Toker swallows deep, his Adam’s apple bobbing a second time before he replies, “No. He stayed in Brisbane with a couple’a enforcers and Torin.”

My heart drops. “Wow.”

With the truth hanging in the air, we can’t look at each other.

I stare up at the ceiling while my cousin peers at the floor. A million thoughts spin inside my head. The swell of my belly feels too heavy for my body. Foreign. Ill-fitting. An intruder, even though I’ve wanted a child since the moment I discovered Alex had stolen the option from me. I already have a son dependent on me whose father refuses to acknowledge his existence, and with Zeke’s prolonged absence as well, it’s starting to look like I’ll be bringing a second fatherless child into the world.

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