Page 159 of Seizing Control: Part One

The loophole I uncovered when the Adjudicator said I couldn’t reveal myself to her comes back to bite me in the arse. He never specified that I couldn’t leave her gifts. My grand idea to keep Zeke at the forefront of Lily’s mind seemed smart as I used my sparse personal time to create a new charm for her bracelet.

Now, knowing that Slash’s legal claim on my sweet thing rests in the same dish as my present, I’m twisted into a ball of resentment. Becoming unravelled. Filling with jealousy. The mere thought of Slash and Lily sets my teeth on edge. Brings a side of me to the surface that I’ve worked hard to regulate.

Why is she still wearing her wedding ring?

The training I’ve undertaken kicks in.

My reprogramming engages at the threat to my newfound control.

With full conviction in a process that I didn’t initially trust, I close my eyes. I curl my index finger and thumb to make a circle and empty my mind of all emotion. Mental floodgates dam my feelings so they can’t return. Breathing with intention, in for a count of four, hold for the count of two, then exhale for the count of six, I repeat the exercise four times to activate my parasympathetic nervous system.

I’m immediately calm.

Able to see sense instead of the injury to my pride.

I remain impassive as Lily finds the charm I left for her. Her initial reaction, excitement as the idea that I’m alive whips through her, almost breaks through my shield, but I maintain the metaphysical wall between us. When confusion flickers through her features, before being replaces by pure devastation, my fingers curl into fists.

I make myself cycle through the breathing method again.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Relaxing my arms, I jut my chin. The sight of Lily’s naked body becomes my distraction from the bulging dam wall segregating my consciousness from my emotions. I scan her curves as she sits on the floor clutching her bracelet and the cherub charm like they might vanish into thin air. Curl my top lip at the sight of trinity knot scar she bears beneath her collar bone. It matches mine, and reminds me of all the people standing between our reunion. Reacquaint myself with the pink of her nipples. Trace the cupid’s bow of her upper lip with my gaze. Note her blue nail polish. Devour her pretty pussy with hungry eyes. Test the strength of my resolve to adhere to the agreement I’ve made with Gabriel as my dick returns to life for the first time since I died.

“Fuck.”

Although the curse word is hissed, it’s still too loud. Lily jerks, looks around herself, then pushes back to her feet. I hold my breath, ready to be discovered as the peeping Tom that I am. My cock manages to harden further at the idea of Lily seeing me.

Hope blossoms.

Inflates my chest.

Grows into a self-sustaining entity as I witness my woman slide the cherub pendant onto the bracelet before she places it back in the bowl. I stick my hand into the pocket of my dress pants to retrieve my new phone. Opening the app that will allow me to activate the Bluetooth speaker, I grin. From now on, I’ll be able to hear everything that Lily says—for as long as she continues to wear the charm. I press the red button at the top of the screen and the muted sound of the shower fills the discreet earpiece I’m wearing.

The alien head is a GPS tracker.

The scalpel contains a small microphone.

They’re powered by a Lithium-ion battery the size of a match head.

I’ll have to arrange a way to swap them out—especially if I use them too often.

That’s a hurdle I’ll cross when I come to it.

Now that I have ears on her via the cherub, I’m almost satisfied. As soon as Gabriel’s tech team refines the pinhole camera that they’re developing, I’ll be leaving her a necklace that allows me to see Lily’s surroundings as well.

Is it overkill?

Likely.

However, access to his tech for my personal use was the final addition to my agreement with Gabriel. It was my non-negotiable clause. I’ve left Lily unprotected before, and Alex raped her and nearly beat her to death again. She killed her ex to save herself, and even that blew up in her face later on thanks to Brutus and Sander.

Slash has proven next to useless.

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