Page 158 of Seizing Control: Part One

Out of the tasks on my to-do list, regaining Lily’s trust will be the hardest, yet it’s the triumph I look forward to most. I know that woman will make me beg. She’ll demand my apologies. Challenge my contrition. Lash out at me in anger. Through it all, I’ll happily drop to my knees in front of her and accept whatever she dishes out.

I’m going to grant her liberty as an apology.

Lilianna Mayberry will get whatever she wants for as long as I’m drawing breath.

The only thing I’m unable to give her is Ezekiel Asher Miles.

My new licence says my name is Lazarus Damon Abaddon.

The middle name, a homage to the dying father who thinks I’ve already beaten him to hell, was the single sentimentality that Gabriel allowed me. He stripped me of everything else as he worked with his curia to rebuild me into a man worthy of becoming the next Adjudicator. Piece by piece, Zeke was dismantled. Venom was slaughtered. From my hair to my piercings to the suit that I now wear like a second skin, I was constructed in Gabriel’s image. The only thing he didn’t strip from me was my tattoos, and that’s only after I fought him on it.

He called it my first test.

One that I passed with flying colours... just like I have all the others.

He can obliterate my identity, reprogram me to follow his word, attempt to hollow me of petty grudges and human frailties, but he’ll never eliminate the history inked on my skin or my love for Lily.

Out of habit, I brush my fingers over my newest tattoo.

A golden phoenix rising from the ashes of blue lilies.

It covers the front of my neck. Hides the thick scar that represents my godfather’s attempt to kill me. Forces me to face my failures every time I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface. Reminds me what’s at stake as I embark on the role that will set me up to succeed Gabriel when he retires in a year.

Code name: Pheonix.

I’m your last chance.

Your redemption.

Burn for me.

Purge your soul.

Attest to your sins.

And I’ll give you one more shot at fidelity.

Conversely, if you fail my questioning, lie to me, or attain your second strike, it’s over.

The final image imprinted on your eyeballs as I pluck them out of your skull will be my face. My judgement. I’m on a first name basis with the reaper, and I’ll personally introduce you as I cease your existence on earth. As much as I believe that this is the role I was born to play, I can’t ignore the ache in my chest as I angle myself so I can see through the open bathroom window.

Lily flushes the toilet, then she strips off her singlet. Her tits bounce, swaying when she bends over to step out of her panties. Blowing out a breath, the muscle in my jaw works as I clench my teeth to stop myself from storming the farmhouse.

I’m not allowed to reveal myself to Lily until I’m the Adjudicator.

It’s the one clause that Gabriel refuses to budge on.

Logically, I get it. Venom’s death has lifted one of the threats hanging over her head. If I return prematurely, I don’t only resurrect myself, I bring that risk back to life too. With all the balls the Adjudicator and his curia are required to keep in the air at one time, one misstep from me could knock them all to the ground.

I brush my thumb over the raised skin that bisects my throat.

I know how easily things can go wrong.

So, for now, I’m content(ish) to watch her from the shadows.

When Lily removes a ring from her finger, I scowl. The tension that turns my spine to steel isn’t residual stiffness, it’s fury. It’s the first time I’ve felt anger since I fully embraced my re-education. My right leg bounces. Her wedding ring clinks against the gift I left her when she drops it into the bowl on the basin, and I take a step forward.

My malicious compliance has backfired.

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