Page 55 of Knowing Trust

I joked if I had known that would be the outcome I would have screwed Neldor years ago.

He was less than thrilled at the joke, but I hadn’t been around him much since everything had happened. It was just too awkward.

The false start. Everyone knowing we’d had sex. Making a fucking earthquake because we’d had sex. Having our wings out because we’d jumped power levels because we’d had sex. People staring at us when we were together wondering what was going to happen next.

Hell, Julian had jumped power levels because he was tied to me because of what we’d done. It was all just so fucking awkward that I needed a break and some alone time… Which I never got as the future queen.

Luckily, Irma was awesome and snuck me out and promised she would get a way to help Julian find me later since it was Saturday and I should be cleansing. At the last second, I managed to teleport her a note of where I would meet him to join back up with my security and get more food to cleanse. I just need a bit—even a fucking hour to hide and think.

And apparently, I needed to do it in Faerie with my mother’s journal given what else I had with me and where I ended up.

I blinked at the overloaded totes of food and wondered how that had ended up with me. Right, I had thought to ask Julian’s thoughts on it, which was probably how I’d also ended up at my family’s castle, but also I’d been thinking about the passion fruit trellises I’d really liked and the ceiling of pretty and life and… My mind was a dangerous place sometimes.

“Sometimes I also put the pieces together well,” I mumbled as I plopped down on the bench where I was thinking it would be the place to have something like that added. It was too sunny and bright there by the water. I knew people liked it there, but I fried like bacon with my super pale skin and red hair.

Like bacon. Seriously. Even for a fairy, I was pale and fried.

Yes, yes, there were runes to heal and even for sunblock, but my eyes were also blue and the sun—we needed more areas with shade by the castle, and I loved this spot overlooking the water. I wanted a ceiling of life and pretty and it was my damn castle.

And apparently, I needed to eat because I was getting whiny and hangry.

I dove into what Irma packed me and mulled over everything that had been going on. I set the journal off to the side, but my magic sort of sparked as my fingers pulled away from the leather.

“What tricks did you put on this, Mom? Were you being a sneaky fairy so no one else could read it just in case?” I muttered as I stared at it.

Probably. That made sense… But how did I unlock it? What did I do about it?

I sighed after stuffing my face a bit and sort of pushed my magic into the journal, not so much to probe it but also to sort of shove it like I would something heavy or just to give me the answer almost like a tantrum.

And magic that was not mine reacted.

“Sneaky fairy,” I chuckled as I pushed in more magic until mine sort of told me it was enough. I quickly finished what I was eating and wiped my hands before opening the journal.

Only to find it was a whole new journal basically.

There was writing visible over the original writing, and somehow I knew that if I pulled my magic back off the journal I could see it as I originally did. Awesome. My mother had just taught me how to magically write basically.

Cool.

But for another day. I wanted to know what was so important that she had known to hide it.

The first thing? The key I’d been left with and the damn ring.

Of course.

She could not have been clearer that Neldor and I weren’t remotely cousins. She knew we were mates and outlined there were sixty-two known generations separating us when there was maybe one royal family of Faerie to start. And best guess, that was over fifteen thousand years ago.

No one knew for sure, and there weren’t any real records that had survived the wars because this royal thought it was bad for Faerie or that one had been selfish—even a fire supposedly. Either way, no one could really know.

And if the gods had made us mates, clearly there wasn’t a problem with it and she hoped I believed this.

I did. I was really, really fine with it.

The gods’ approval didn’t mean anything to me because if even a fraction of the stories about them were true, they had kids with their own siblings and children. So they weren’t really great examples of how not to inbreed.

Gross.

Oh gross! I gagged. I really hoped those were all legends and not true given my dad was a fucking demigod.

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