Page 35 of Rebel

“No, just the guys. How about you?” His voice is softer, lower.

“Not anymore,” I answer, not lying for once. “They are all gone.”

He frowns, covering my hand. “I’m sorry, Beck. That’s really hard. I know how quiet it is being alone. If you’re anything like me, you hate it.”

Shit, how did he know?

Does Trav see right into my soul?

Rolling onto my back, I keep my hand in his, appreciating the warmth and comfort when I was struggling so much before. “Yeah, well, shit happens.”

“It does,” he replies, sounding sad. Trav is a bundle of joy and happiness, so I don’t like to see him down. I squeeze his hand.

“What’s your favorite color?”

He grins over at me. “Green, yours?”

“Purple.” I smile.

“Favorite song?” For the first time in the darkness, I’m not alone. The fact that it’s him makes me feel conflicted, but I can’t turn him away when he saved me from my own darkness.

“Probably ‘Call Your Mom,’ right now,” I say. “Favorite movie?”

So it goes on. We play this game for so long, I start to feel my eyes close, but it’s my half asleep thought that chases me into my dream.

I like Trav.

NINETEEN

When I wake up, I’m warm and comfy, and it’s only when I turn over that I realize Trav is curled around me, holding me tight. I must wake him because he groans.

I stare, wide-eyed, unsure what to do. When he yawns, I panic internally. “Morning,” he says before climbing out of bed and stretching. “I guess talking worked. I better go shower.”

He stumbles from the room half asleep, leaving me gaping at him.

When did everything get so muddled?

It takes me far longer than I’d like to admit to calm down.

Bandmates share beds all the time, and we’ll live in close quarters on tour. It meant nothing, or at least that’s what I tell myself before I stumble downstairs to make food.

Kolton is already in the kitchen, and I smile at him. “Morning.”

He just nods his head, stuffing his face before fleeing, leaving me staring after him with a frown.

Is that about Trav? Does he know? Or is it something else?

It’s quiet this morning, and as I eat breakfast, I realize I’m angry at myself and at them. I thought this would be easy. I thought I would be in and out. I was so sure of myself, but now everything seems jumbled.

They don’t seem like terrible people, and I think that’s making it harder.

I try to hold onto my pain, but every smile or kindness they show me makes it disappear.

I came here for revenge, revenge I can’t forget no matter how nice and welcoming they are. Revenge is all I know now. I gave up my entire life to get it. I’ve been collecting their secrets, but I need more. The secrets I have are too personal.

When I have those secrets that I can use to destroy them, will I be able to?

I came here for revenge, but I think I need the truth first.

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