Page 40 of Drive To Survive

“Sounds perfect,” I rasped.

EVERLY

I kissed Rhett’s forehead and tucked the covers around him. “Sleep well, baby.”

“Mommy?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“Can we stay here forever?”

My heart squeezed. I brushed a lock of his silky hair to one side. “No, baby. This isn’t our home.”

He pouted. “But I like it here.”

So do I. Too much.

“Racing tomorrow,” I said, hoping to distract him. “Now go to sleep. Otherwise, you’ll be too tired to go.”

He immediately closed his eyes. The worst thing in the world to Rhett was missing his beloved karting. He’d already missed two sessions due to my illness. Nico could have taken him, but, apparently, he hadn’t wanted to leave me. I tried not to read too much into that, though it was hard not to sometimes.

I flicked off the light and closed Rhett’s door. As I made my way downstairs, my legs felt all wobbly in anticipation of the evening ahead, and my pulse raced far faster than normal. As I approached the kitchen, the most delicious smells assailed me. Nico must have made good on his promise and ordered in. My stomach rumbled. I’d barely eaten this past week, and I must have lost at least seven pounds. That meant I could indulge without worrying about my waistline. And I intended to—in more ways than one.

“That smells amazing,” I said. “What is it?”

“Lamb ragout,” he replied, glancing over at me with a smile that showed off his dimple and melted my insides. “My mother makes the best one, but this is a close second.”

“Do your parents live in England?”

He nodded, passing a glass of wine to me.

“You must miss them,” I said, taking it from him.

“I do. I should make more time to visit them, especially now that I no longer race, but there’s always stuff to do at the track, and taking a chunk of time off isn’t that easy.”

I sat at the kitchen table and sipped the wine, dry with hints of gooseberry. Delicious. I didn’t know a lot about wine, but I still knew enough to recognize a good one when I tasted it. “I understand. My parents moved to Mexico a few years ago when my dad retired from his job, and I’ve only seen them once since they left the US. I don’t have the money to fly down there, and they can’t afford to come back here either. I miss them so much.”

He set down two plates of food and took the seat across the table from me. “I admire the hell out of you,” he said.

My eyebrows shot up. “Why?”

He picked up his glass of wine but didn’t drink. “Because you just keep going, Everly. Life dealt you a shitty hand, but you’re not bitter and twisted. You didn’t allow what happened to you to spill over into your kid like so many parents do when their relationship turns sour.”

“That’s not true. I’ve never bad-mouthed Paul in front of Rhett, and I never would, but I didn’t save him from the effects of what happened either. If I’d been such a successful mother, as you claim, I wouldn’t have needed to apply to your school.”

He pulled his lips to one side almost as if he disagreed with me but wasn’t prepared to put the argument out there. “Was Paul a good father?”

I picked up a fork and stabbed a chunk of meat. “Mostly, yes.” I slipped it into my mouth, where it melted. “Wow, you weren’t wrong about this lamb.”

“And what about a partner?” he pressed. “Was he a good partner to you?”

I ate another piece, chewing slower to buy myself thinking time. “In the beginning, I guess, yeah. But over time, not so much.” I shook my head, unsure of why I was even telling him this. There was something about him that made me relax and share more than I meant to. “He’d get angry for no reason, almost as if he despised me. As the years went on, he started to come home later and later after work, and if I asked him where he’d been or why he was late, he’d fly off the handle.”

“Did he ever hit you?” he asked, his jaw locked tight, a pulse thrumming in his cheek.

“No. And he never touched Rhett either, or even yelled at him. He only ever yelled at me.” I bit the inside of my cheek. “I don’t believe he was a bad man, but he clearly wasn’t happy either. If he had been, he wouldn’t have left. I just wish he’d have talked to me rather than disappearing. He chose to take the coward’s way out of whatever was eating at him.”

“Is that what you think? He simply upped and left?”