Page 5 of Holding Grace

I saw Grace’s chin come up a little – a move I’d seen dozens of times when she’d worked at the pub – and knew she was gathering her nerve to respond.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Now that, I hadn’t expected. After the shitty way she’d left the pub, after all the sleepless nights I’d spent worrying about her, now she was going to give me attitude?

“Really? That’s how you’re going to play this?” The anger, frustration, and – fuck it all – hurt I’d felt since she’d pulled her disappearing act bled through my words. Bitterness over what she’d done filled me and spewed out at her. “Like I’m the one who ran off without a word and didn’t give a flying fuck about the people or the mess I left behind?”

Grace flinched as my words hit home. I hadn’t intended to go after her like that, but my emotions were riding me hard. For just a moment I wanted her to know, to feel even a fraction of what she’d put me through.

Levi stepped up behind me, his hand heavy on my shoulder.

“Look, man.” Levi’s voice was pitched low, so only I could hear him. “She just vouched for you, said you wouldn’t hurt her. Don’t make her regret that and don’t make me drag your sorry ass out of here. You know I can, and I will if you don’t calm the fuck down.”

Irritated at Levi’s interference, I shrugged my shoulder, trying to dislodge his hand, but he clamped down even harder.

“I don’t know who she is or what this is about, but you’re scaring the shit out of her.”

My eyes flew back to Grace. I looked, really looked, at her, and I could see that Levi was right. She was putting up a brave front, staring back at me with color streaked across her cheeks, but she was shaking. She was gripping the counter in front of her like a lifeline and she was shaking.

Seeing that, seeing what I’d done to her, the anger drained away leaving shame and regret in its wake.

I’d waited nearly a year and a half for this day. Waited for it, dreamed about it, and hoped with everything I had that it would happen.

And here I was, with Grace essentially backed into a corner, taking hit after hit at her, figuratively if not literally.

I blew out a breath, wishing I could rewind the clock and do the last few minutes over.

Levi’s death grip on my shoulder loosened and I knew he could tell that what he’d said had gotten through to me. I’d never wanted to frighten Grace or make her question whether she was safe with me. I felt sick at the thought that I had.

“Okay. I’m okay now,” I said over my shoulder to Levi, then looked across the kitchen at Grace. I focused on her even as I spoke again to Levi. “Can you give us a couple minutes?”

Levi shifted behind me.

“Is that okay with you?” he asked Grace. “If it’s not, just say so. You don’t have to talk to him.”

I felt my hackles rise a little at Levi’s words, but then I reminded myself what an asshole I’d been since I’d pushed my way into the diner’s kitchen. I should be glad that Levi was doing his best to protect Grace, even if it was from me.

Grace looked at me for a moment, then back at Levi, the seconds ticking away as she silently debated my fate. It was the same thing she’d asked Vanessa for – a few minutes to talk – but that was before I’d said what I had to her.

What was I going to do if she refused to even talk to me?

Fortunately, I didn’t have to find out.

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice quiet, but firm.

Levi stepped back. I waited to hear the swish of the kitchen door opening and closing to let me know that he was gone, and we were alone.

“Grace...” I started, then stopped. How did I fix this? “I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I saw you and...I don’t know, just reacted. I was afraid you’d run again.”

I stopped as Grace drew in a quick breath at my mention of running away. Was she thinking about the way she’d left me – left the pub, I corrected myself – all those months ago? Or was she thinking about doing it again?

“Please don’t, okay? You don’t have to run away from me. I just want to talk to you. I just want” – need – “to understand what happened.”

Grace jerked her head in a nod, then swallowed hard. “I won’t run away, but...could... could you move over there?”

I frowned in confusion as I slowly did as Grace had asked, moving to a spot near the back wall of the kitchen, wondering what difference...

Then it hit me.

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