Page 84 of Holding Grace

Michael said he wanted me, but let’s face it – men are generally interested in sex, period. I knew Michael cared about me and we were living together after all. I was there, he was there, we were married. Why not have sex if we both wanted it? What if that was all he’d meant? He’d tied himself to me and had promised not to be with anyone else while we were together. Michael took promises seriously, so of course he wanted sex with me. I was his only option right then.

No closer to figuring out how to fix things with my husband I pushed through the front door into the apartment. I set my keys on the little table by the door then stood still, listening.

From the direction of his bedroom, I heard Michael’s deep rumble. It sounded like he was on the phone with someone.

I was debating what to do – Go to my room to change? Sit on the couch and wait for Michael to appear? – when Michael strolled out into the living room.

He stopped short when he saw me, then started toward me again stopping a few feet away. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” I smiled at him, determined not to let the awkwardness get to me. “How was your day?”

“It was okay.” He shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, glancing away before he looked at me again. “How are you feeling?”

How was I feeling?

What?

Just act natural, Grace. Like this isn’t weird at all. He’s trying.

“I feel good. Mercy and I got a lot done today. Why do you ask?”

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight. Was he nervous?

“I just got off the phone with Jamey. The sponsor event for that new Autumn Fest Weekend thing is tonight. Brothers Pub is sponsoring the beer and wine gardens.”

“Okay.” It wasn’t much of a response, but I wasn’t sure what else to say.

The Autumn Fest Weekend “thing” was a new event being put on by the local chamber of commerce. There were going to be rides, games, vendors, food trucks – you name it – during the day, with the added attraction of local bands and a fireworks show each night. It sounded fun, but I had no idea why Michael and I were talking about it.

He cleared his throat again. “He and Meg were supposed to go but Meg is down for the count with that flu bug that’s going around, and Kendrick and Jo are out of town. He wanted to know if we’d be interested.”

His expression gave me zero indication if he wanted to go or not. Then again, he was telling me about it. He could have just told Jamey no and left it at that.

I lobbed the ball firmly into his court. “What do you think? Are we interested?”

Michael shrugged and lobbed the ball back. “It sounds like they’re really doing it up for the sponsors. And we wouldn’t need to dress up or anything. It’s up to you.”

I tilted my head, thinking.

Michael added, “It’ll be cold tonight but they’re supposed to have tents so it shouldn’t be too bad. Whatever you want to do.”

What I didn’t want to do was spend one more uncomfortable evening in the apartment with Michael, each of us carefully orbiting around the other.

He could have told Jamey no. He hadn’t.

Maybe this was the chance we needed. A chance to get out of the apartment, spend a few hours together doing something fun, and get out of our own heads.

“I think we should go.”

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THREE HOURS LATER, I cupped a boozy hot chocolate in my gloved hands as Michael and I rose up and over the top on the enormous Ferris wheel. The frigid breeze near the top blew my hair into my face – again – and I laughed as Michael dutifully tucked it back – again.

His amused gaze traveled over my hair, making me wonder how big of a mess it was. We were pressed close together, not a millimeter of space between us, Michael’s arm stretched behind me, and we still just barely fit in the seat.

Michael didn’t seem to mind and neither did I.

“Is it bad?”

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