“And I like to think this is turning out pretty good,” she adds, “so I’m doing my best to trust there’s a chance the rest of my life will go well too. It’s a new feeling.”
I nod. “I get that. Trusting myself is a novelty for me too.”
She looks back at me and lifts her mouth into a slight smile while she shakes her head.
“What?” I ask, already smiling back at her even though I have no idea what’s got her so amused.
“It’s just I never would have guessed that about you when I first met you. You seemed like someone who had never even heard of the idea of caring what other people think.”
I chuckle and shrug. “Yeah, sorry to disappoint you.”
Her eyes narrow, and she squares her shoulders off with mine as her voice turns serious.
“That’s not the version of you I fell for,” she says. “I mean, yeah, I was pretty star struck by that Andrea, and I know she’s part of you too, but when I really fell for you was in all the quiet moments, when you let me see you’re just as scared as the rest of us. You’re scared, but you still show up, and…and that’s what I want to do too.”
My heart swells in my chest. For a moment, all I can do is squeeze her hand again while I search for the right words.
The way she makes me feel is bigger than words. It’s as big as a blue summer sky, as a thousand leafy streets lined with a thousand towering mansions, as a glittering city flickering to life.
I’m still trying to figure out how to tell her that when our ride pulls up to the curb. We slide onto the backseat to sit side by side. I stare out the window and watch the quiet streets of my dad’s neighborhood turn into the crowded buildings of downtown.
These streets are becoming familiar now. Soon I’ll have my own place in this city—probably just a cramped little bedroom in some dingy townhouse with way too many roommates, but still, it will be mine. I’ll be able to invite Naomi over. We’ll be able to take this thing growing between us and give it all the time and care it needs to bloom.
I’ll be able to do the same thing with whatever’s growing in me. Those flimsy glimpses of my future I used to see out of the corner of my eye have finally caught up with me and taken hold, like seeds drifting on the wind before settling down to sprout roots.
“We’re here!” Naomi says just as the driver swerves to pull up to the sidewalk.
She’s bouncing in her seat, and she flings the door open the second the car shifts into park. She calls out a thank you to the driver as she bursts onto the sidewalk and waits for me to catch up.
“Oh my god,” I say when I look over at the shop she keeps glancing at. “That’s where we’re going?”
The storefront is done up to look like an old-fashioned ice cream parlor, with a pink and white awning paired with brass accents and a logo printed in swirling Victorian script on the windows.
“That’s where we’re going first,” Naomi says as she leads us over to the door. “I did pick somewhere for dinner, but I just figured since I ruined our ice cream cones last time, I should get us another round, and I was too excited about finding this place to wait until after dinner.”
I raise my eyebrows when she looks back to find me standing with my hands on my hips after she’s grabbed the brass door handle.
“I’m the one who ruined our ice cream cones,” I say. “I wasn’t exactly subtle about wanting to kiss you. Worth it, though. That was one of the best kisses of my life.”
It only takes a second for a flush to start creeping up her neck.
“Really?”
I nod and step closer. “You blow everyone else out of the goddamn water, Naomi.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh. Well, good.”
I tip my head back to laugh and then place my hand on her lower back to guide her inside.
The shop smells like waffle cones and sugar. The chilly air inside makes goose bumps break out on my arms and legs, and once we’ve got our cones, we decide to sit on the bench outside to enjoy the warmth of the evening instead of taking one of the plush red vinyl booths lining the wall.
Naomi got strawberry cheesecake, and I went with double fudge. She hums her approval of the flavor after taking her first bite, her eyelids fluttering. I give her a light jab with my elbow.
“You’re going to make me drop this one too if you keep that up.”
She blushes even deeper than earlier, which just makes me want to abandon my ice cream even more.
We do our best to focus on dessert for the next few minutes. Even though it’s a weeknight, the street is still rumbling with the hum of car engines and the chatter of pedestrians as they pass in front of our bench every now and then.