Page 18 of Fixation of the Mind

She giggled and pushed at Ravi, trying to get him off of her, but he just wouldn't budge. I was about to yell at him to get off when Roux yanked on his shirt and threw him over his shoulder. Once Ravi was taken care of, Roux turned back to Rin and stuck his hand out, inviting her to take it.

She eyed his hand, her eyes thoughtful, like she was deciding whether she trusted him enough to take it. Before today, it would irk me and piss me off, but after everything that just happened, I was glad for her careful consideration. She’s no dummy.

When she finally decided to take it, he threw Ravi on the floor, yanked her up in one swoop, and carried her into the house. She yelped in surprise, but otherwise, she was unexpectedly cooperative.

“No fair!” Ravi whined behind them. “Next time, I get to carry Rin.”

We made our way into the house, and it took all my might not to let my eyes bug out of my face. The whole front room had been rearranged, but in an odd way. The couch was in the center of the room with the loveseat shoved into a corner, obviously far away from the couch it belonged with. The coffee table was on one side of the couch, and the coat hanger was behind the couch on the other side. The sheer disorganization made my skin crawl.

“Wow, Ravi. You feng shui-ed the place.” Roux set Rin down on her feet, and she put her hands on her hips and laughed at the mess. Ravi, of course, beamed up at her like she had told him he was fucking Picasso. It all made my head hurt.

“Let’s just sit down and tell them what happened. It's going to be a lot to take in, and we need to figure it all out.” She nodded and plopped down on the couch first, with Ravi and Roux quickly grabbing the seats to her right and left. It was irritating because I wanted to sit next to her, but in the grand scheme of things, it was only fair.

Hunching over, I grabbed the loveseat and dragged it over while glaring at Ravi. His devious smile told me he had planned for something like this. Fucking brothers.

“Before we get into all that, I wanted to finish what we talked about this morning.” With our full attention on her, she sighed. “I was planning on telling you three that I was going to leave. I was going to quit school and go back to my shitty life. Thinking back on it, I can’t deny that I was scared and upset, but it mostly came from being hurt.” She looked down at her hands and smiled. “I’m still hurt, but after what happened, I realized that I want to survive this. I want to learn as much as I can to make the best decisions for my future.”

She closed her eyes, her body tense, before taking a breath and continuing. “And in order to do that, I need your help.” She looked up, facing each of us like she was confirming her commitment.

All three of us looked at each other, questions circle my brother's eyes, but also relief. We would have another chance. She might not trust us a whole bunch, but we could work on that. We could get her trust back. We bobbed our heads, agreeing with her.

“Now, let me tell you about the crazy shit happened.”

After she explained everything, my brothers stared at the ground, lost in thought. Hearing it for the second time, I understood their concerns.

While her being from the Rose family didn't specifically matter much to us, her being undeniably connected to this world we lived in did complicate our goal. Not to mention the training the three of us had received was not something any of us wanted to relive, let alone have Rin go through.

Layrin’s face pinched, her mouth pulled down when she whispered, hurt underlying her words, “Do you not want to train me? Help me?”

Fuck. She was taking our silence the wrong way.

“No. That's not it, Rin,” Ravi immediately answered for all of us. “It's just… We have to think about how we can handle this, like who’s going to train you in what and how to make those three months count because the test is no joke. It's going to test you physically, intellectually, and mentally. The specific details of the test are different for every person.”

Roux’s rough voice followed. “While most people make it out of the tests alive, not everyone comes out sane.”

Her eyes widened as she grasped the situation, and with that understanding, her face fell. She would need a lot more than just her will to make it happen. I could hear her silent pleas, her whispered wishes, and I couldn't bear it. I couldn't let her think she was doomed.

“We’re going to help you. You’ll get through this no matter what. I promise.”

Chapter 7

After we discussed everything that happened, the boys immediately went into planning mode. Now that I knew the depths to their manipulations and schemes, it was interesting being on the inside this time, observing how they worked.

I was slowly becoming fascinated with these men. I remembered the boys they were. Young and unrefined, but still able to get impossible things done when they worked together. Now, years later, they worked like a well-oiled machine. Instead of the occasional spat over who did what, they were comfortable in their roles and knew what was needed from each other seamlessly.

Ravi was going to handle my mental training, which would be the last week. He argued that it would be the most taxing, so he needed time to prepare not only the materials but himself. I gave him a wry smile, not really excited for that part of the training.

Rion was going to do the intellectual training. He informed me it would be the most classroom-like subject. We would go through the history of Foedus, all the people I needed to know, as well as familiarize myself with the Foedus systems and programs that most of the kids at my status level already knew how to use. While it might be basic for them, I pretty much only knew how to turn off, update, and work in Microsoft programs. He was going to have his work cut out for him.

That left Roux to handle the physical training, which was no surprise. He gave me an evil grin as he told me how excited he was, promising not to go easy on me, and he expected me to follow his instructions to a T. Grumbling back to him in agreement was the best I could do. He knew how to rub me the wrong way, and while I liked it, I also hated it, which seemed to sum up our relationship.

The more we talked about the expectations of the test and how dangerous it was, the heavier it became. What did this all really mean? After I was trained and passed the tests, what was my role? Was I to become like the guys? Would I be able to kill someone? I didn't know if I could do that.

My hand drifted up, clutching the triangle pendant that had always given me solace, but now… It felt more like a noose. Everything positive in my life was eventually ruined.

Am I really cursed?

Now that I knew that the horrible “accidents” which surrounded me in my high school days were really Roux’s fault, I had begun to believe I was somehow absolved of my black cloud. I’d started to think that the problem wasn't really me… but the more I reflected on my life, I remembered that my bad situations in life weren’t only during those years.

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