Page 83 of Never Have I Ever

“It doesn’t matter now. What does is how you want to handle it once you get the results.”

“Is this the conversation you want to have?” He’s genuine, not an accusing note in his tone despite how direct he is. “I was thinking about it last night. You don’t need to be a part of this mess if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“I already am, but only as much as you need me to be.”

His grip tightens around the steering wheel, and he shifts in his seat as if it’s not already a perfect fit. He takes a deep breath and then says, “If the test comes back as a match, I’m going to be a father to the child. I’m going to be in their life. They’ll be a part of me. I want to be a part of their life as much as I can.” He glances over at me. “I love you with all my fucking heart.” His hand covers my thigh. “If I share a child with this woman, will you still love me?”

“Every day of my life, Laird.” I cover his hand. “I will love your child as well. I didn’t know where you would stand on the issue until now. I had thoughts of you wanting to marry her.”

Shaking his head, he balks to himself. “When I said I didn’t know her, I meant it. No recollection whatsoever.”

“You can have any woman you want. You chose her to have sex with, so something drew you to her.”

“Probably a lot of alcohol and drugs.” He pulls his hand back to driving again. “I did more than get up to the usual trouble in Nashville. I still have two years before I can return.”

“You were banned from an entire city?” I let my surprise drop my jaw to the floorboard.

“Are you impressed?” He winks. The cocky grin hangs on his face.

Impressed? I shrug. “I kind of am. Luckily, I don’t need to go to Nashville anytime soon.” I wiggle in, getting more comfortable knowing we still have hours to go. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened in Nashville? The full story?”

“You want to know about Nashville? You want to hear all my dark secrets?”

“Every last one.”

His smile fades as he seems to get caught in a memory. “I was coming off . . . the breakup, the loss I didn’t see coming. I was wasted before we landed, sitting at a bar at two in the afternoon shooting pool with strangers. Not a place where tourists hang out but an old timers’ kind of bar with locals and some unsavory types. It was just the place I could blend in without getting noticed.”

“You? Unnoticed? I think you’re blind to what you look like. Your height alone makes you a head taller than everyone else.”

“I appreciate the compliments, but there are plenty of guys my size.”

“Keep fooling yourself, giant.” I swirl my hand, leading him to continue. “Carry on.”

I earn a grin, but I’m still working on a chuckle to keep things light for him. “You’re right. I didn’t blend in as much as I thought. Add Nikki and Shane showed up, and we had ourselves a party.”

“And by party, I’m assuming you don’t mean the fun kind?”

“No.” He slows in a sea of red brake lights flowing before us. “It started with some guy discussing what he wanted to do to my sister. Fuck.” He rubs his temple, getting agitated. “I don’t remember what he said, but he became enemy number one. Hitting him brought five others out of the woodwork. Shane was sucker punched, thanks to me. My sister actually landed a solid right hook to some guy’s face. Her hand swelled up immediately.”

“Oh my God. I’m glad she’s okay. What about you and Shane?”

“My cousin had my back, but so did some other guy who hit me with a barstool. They’re lucky it took me out.”

The gasp comes fast, and then I touch the back of his head, gently rubbing as if I can heal the past. “Laird. I don’t know what to say. It’s just so awful.”

“I know. That wasn’t even the worst of it. We got out of there only for me to hook up with some women from a restaurant next door.”

“Women? As in plural?” I laugh, but then it sinks in. “Wait, how many are we talking about?”

We finally turn off the freeway. The road ahead is a lot less crowded, allowing us to go top speed, which he takes full advantage of. I notice he’s not as fast in answering my question, making me wonder if I don’t want to know. He eventually slows to the speed limit, though, eyes me, and says, “Four.”

“Four? Oh wow. I thought you’d fudge the numbers for my sake. Guess not.”

Rubbing my shoulder, he looks between me and the road ahead. “Moving forward, would you like me to?”

“No. I just wasn’t expecting four. That’s a lot at one time . . . or was it not together?”

“Are you really asking, Poppy?” When I nod, he replies, “Both.”

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