Page 20 of A Bond of Fire and Roses

I dip my head back and let out a moan. Gods, it’s been so long since I let myself feel pleasure like this. I can’t even remember the last time. Whatever he’s doing feels much better than I used to do. Another moan escapes me. It’s the sound of my moaning that seems to break me free of his spell and I open my eyes, reality dawning on me again.

“Let me go—now!”

To my surprise, he does. Erax drops my hand and takes a step back from me, his eyes crossed over his chest. He watches me for far too long before saying anything.

“I don’t plan on hurting you, Mist. It doesn’t really do anything for me. I want you to know that before tomorrow comes. Even if you drive me fucking insane, even if we are enemies that will never understand each other, or ever want to—I will keep you safe and never let anyone hurt you. You are my queen, and my protection is forever yours. Even if you don’t want it.”

His queen. Something about hearing those words makes the bond between us so final. So real. I pull away from the mirror, my legs shaking. However, as I take a step forward, my gown catches on the edge of the mirror, a single shard that must have broken on the corner, and I don’t realise it’s tearing until it’s too late. Until the cool air caresses the skin on my back.

I immediately turn to face Erax, hoping he didn’t see. I know by the look on his face that he saw my scars. There was no way he couldn’t have caught a glimpse of them. My whole-body tenses as he walks over. It is the first time I have ever seen his face pale. Yet there is a silent rage about him those bubbles beneath the surface. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he’s walking towards me. He stops in front of me and reaches out a hand. I immediately flinch and cover my head with my arms, an instinctive reaction I haven’t felt since leaving the convent. When nothing happens, I lower my arms, surprised to find him staring down at me in surprise. His eyes have turned gold again, but for the first time ever, red specks flicker in them.

He drops his hand back by his side. “Show me.”

Even though the command is quiet, the distinct harshness in his voice makes me shiver. His entire demeanour has changed. This isn’t the Erax who tried seducing me a few moments ago. This is a king commanding me to obey him. And yet still I do not move. I can’t. Because I don’t want him to see. I don’t want anyone to see what they did to me. The moment I show someone my scars it makes what happened to me real, and I don’t want what they did to me to be real. I just want to forget about it all.

“Maelena…” He whispers my name so softly it’s like a plea. “Turn. Around.”

Despite the warning laced in his voice, I shake my head. “I can’t.”

Please don’t make me do this.

Even if I did want to show him, I’m completely frozen to the spot, barely able to breathe let alone move my legs. Erax steps behind me. In one swift motion, he tears off the rest of my gown and lets it flutter to the ground next to me. For a painfully long moment, Erax says nothing. He just looks, and then he feels, touching, ever so gently, the scars on my back. My breath hitches with panic. I have never let anyone touch my back like this before. Not even Lochlan.

Erax moves his hand over my back slowly, tracing every scar as if mapping them out in his memory. I wince when he finds the most recent ones. Although they have mostly healed, the scars from my last night at the convent are still a little tender. A deep growl rumbles in his chest behind me.

“Who did this to you?” His voice is dangerously low and close, so close that his breath touches my neck and cheek. “Who the fuck did this to you? Tell me now!”

Tears slip from my lashes as my body trembles beneath his hand. “You know who did it.”

You all knew—even the gods. Everyone chose to turn a blind eye to it. Even the gods when I begged them to stop it. To help me.

As if Erax would give a shit about my scars anyway. They are just reminders of what he put me through. Because if he hadn’t taken everything away from me, none of this would have happened, and my back would remain scarless. Instead, I carry them because of his doing, and he has the audacity to act like he cares? To pretend to feel sorry for me?

My tears turn into tears of rage. I wipe them with the side of my hand and glare up at him. “The priestesses told me how they were ordered to keep me in line, how you told them to do everything in their power to turn me into your perfect little princess bride. The punishments they gave me once a month, they were part of their so-called training”—I spit the last word out— “but I’m sorry you find my scars hideous to look at. The sisters healed what they could, of course, but I was told I only needed to lie on my back to please you, so you wouldn’t see or care. As long as I could still open my legs for you, that was all that mattered.”

I can barely see him through the tears rushing down my face when I open my eyes again. I don’t bother wiping the tears away. He needs to see them. He needs to know.

“Who did this, Maelena?”

I turn around to face him and instil as much hatred as I can into my voice. “You did. Every scar, bruise and bone they broke in my body was carried out under your orders. Or so they said.” He stares at my chest as if his eyes haven’t moved since I turned around, as if he’s still looking at the scars on my back. “If you think those are bad, they are nothing like the mental scars they gave me. Those will never heal. Sister Gabriella made sure of that.”

Finally, he lifts his eyes to meet my gaze. They’re almost completely red now and his pupils have narrowed, reminding me of a serpent. A dragon. He suddenly whips his cloak off and drapes it over my shoulders. I leave his cloak on, knowing it’s better than walking half naked back through the palace. Something heavy lies in the inner cloak pocket, and I pull it out, surprised to find my dagger survived. My father’s crest is gone and has been replaced with a gold dragon, but the blade is still sharp and just as red. Erax must have had it mended.

Why would he fix a weapon that was used to try to kill him?

I look up to find him opening the mirror door again. The fact he’s leaving after all I just said makes me want to throw my dagger at him. Maybe I’ll have better luck from this angle. Maybe it will just satisfy me. Both outcomes are tempting.

“There are guards outside who will take you back,” Erax growls.

He slams the door behind him, and I can only stare at my reflection as a horrible thought occurs to me. Why don’t I feel relieved now that Erax is gone?

CHAPTER EIGHT

When the sun enters through my bedroom window, I close my eyes with a groan.

I can’t believe it’s morning already.

It feels like only minutes ago that the guards brought me back and I lay on this bed, thinking about how my life will end the moment that sun rises. Most of all I thought about how I’ll belong to the dragon king and the kingdom he stole from me.

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