Page 21 of A Bond of Fire and Roses

Now that the sun has risen, I don’t think I can go through it.

I turn on my side with another groan. My whole body feels like it’s being weighed down by an anchor. Shame slowly creeps over me. The way Erax touched me last night… the way I responded… I have never felt something like that. These feelings are so different to the ones I feel for Lochlan. They’re dark and heavy, like an unquenchable thirst rising from the pit of my stomach. A thirst that feels like it’s drowning me the moment Erax touches my body.

I straighten up to sit on the edge of the bed, clutching the sides of the mattress. I would rather the gods strike me down than let me feel like this for him. I would betray not only myself and parents, but all those who died because of him. I vowed long ago to never forget what he did to us. Last night in the ballroom, I almost did.

I almost let him devour me.

I can’t let that happen again. Even if my body does respond to him, even if there is a tiny part of me in the darkest corner of my heart that does not hate him, I vowed to always be his enemy. And yet, last night we were almost… not that.

When Erax saw the scars on my back, he appeared shocked by them. Angry, even. I have spent all night thinking about his reaction. There was no way he could not have known. He was the one who put me there! He practically locked the door to my cage himself, and then gave the nuns the key.

The sound of the door unlocking flips my stomach, and I immediately tense my shoulders, my chest tightening. I don’t lift my gaze from the floor. I watch the rays of sunlight stretching over the hardwood, my chest tightening. When the door opens, a shadow eclipses the sunrays, and then a voice I did not expect to hear speaks.

“It’s a little chilly in here, don’t you think?” Noble’s voice echoes around my room.

I frown at the shadow in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”

Noble leans against the wall, flashing me a grin. “You know, that’s not usually what women say to me first thing in the morning. Have you frozen my irresistible charm as well as the lake?”

I shake my head with a laugh, trying to mask the fact I’m on the verge of a panic attack. As Noble walks towards me, the sun moves over him, reflecting off his green clothing. The rich green is a clear mark of his place in the wedding, and I have to admit, the suit is stunning. The woven material is the same shade as emeralds, with gold collar and buttons. A green cloak falls from his shoulders, clipped with metal dragons in the same shade. There is the royal chest over his heart. The crest for my family should be here today but I doubt I’ll see it anywhere. He picks up the king’s cloak from the bed. I hadn’t realised I slept with it.

“You’ll need this,” he says, “and fireproof boots.”

Erax's scent engulfs me as his thick cloak falls around my shoulders.

I hate that I don’t hate that smell anymore. Damn fire and roses.

His smell.

Noble thrusts a pair of heavy boots into my arms, the same ones I use to wear around the castle. I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to help me escape. My heart jumps at the thought. Why else would he be here, alone, telling me to wear fireproof boots right before I’m to be married to his king? Of course, in the back of my head, I know the chances of him betraying his king are next to impossible. But I let myself believe it for a moment—that maybe, just maybe, there is a way out of this cage after all.

That there’s still hope.

I slide my feet into the boots, fastening them quickly. “Where are we going?’

Noble doesn’t answer. He just leaves the room, and my stomach flips as I follow him out.

Outside in the corridors, servants rush by us, carrying large crates of wine and baskets of green and gold roses. They make my eyes sting as I pass them. Memories of my childhood rush to the forefront of my mind. My mother loved gold roses because of how rare and difficult they were to successfully grow.

We used them for royal weddings too—as a symbol for new beginnings.

For me they symbolise the end.

Once we are away from prying eyes, I again ask Noble, “Where are we going?”

He grins over his shoulder at me. “The king has brought something back for you. A gift. He wants to show you it before the wedding.”

My gaze strays down to the floor. The king has brought something back for me. I frown at my reflection shining up at me. I don’t want more gifts from him. I want answers, and revenge.

I was also a fool to think Noble would help me get out of here. He is clearly a loyal servant to his king.

When I left my gaze from the floor, I’m met with a familiar entryway clouded by the smell of burning leaves hanging thick in the air. Noble arches his brow at me as he steps forward to open the crimson doors. I do not look at him when I pass through. Judging by his expression he knows I have been here before.

The waves of heat hit me again, instantly engulfing my senses. My eyes and throat begin to dry the farther we descend. The fireproof boots help protect me from the hot ground, which is worse than it was in the tunnels I tried to escape in. The cloak protects me better, too. Only my face is exposed to the heat.

On the stair landing, I’m reminded of Erax and the moment he found me here. I had wanted so badly to kill him that night. I never imagined a few days later that I’d almost let him kiss me. It’s like the gods are laughing at me now.

The air grows harder to breathe the closer we reach the bottom. When Noble steps out of the stairway and I follow him, I’m immediately aware of the intensity of the heat. Although it doesn’t hurt me, I can feel its presence pushing against my boots. My feet would surely burn had I not followed Noble’s instructions. I’m glad I did.

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