Page 139 of Toxic Wishes

“No, they went back home.”

My heart drops down to my stomach, and for a second, I feel like I can’t breathe.

“What?”

“Yeah, he told me the renovations are done, so he headed back there to check on them. He said he might as well prepare things because he’s leaving for this football season earlier than expected. He got a call from his agent, and they need him back early to work with the new receivers they have this season. He said he had to leave in a few weeks, so he might as well head out there.”

Why wouldn’t he have told me that?. Was he not planning on telling me any of it? “You okay?” Cliff’s voice breaks my spell of thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

Cliff opens a protein bar and takes a bite of it. I hear him chew loudly, which causes me to look up since I don’t know how someone can make smacking noises with a chewy protein bar.

“You want some advice?” He points the protein bar in my direction.

“Not really.”

He moves around to the island and pulls out a chair. He sits, and I walk up to the fridge to grab a water bottle.

“Colt is pretty broken. And the only real love he’s ever had has been football. He runs to it when he doesn’t want to face the truth. Honestly, I’m surprised he finally cleared out Blake's room.” He takes another bite of his protein bar as I twist the cap off my water bottle and take a long swig, hoping he’s done talking.

“That was a big step for him, but I’m sure it’s messing with his emotions and all kinds of shit. Who knows. Then, there was dealing with that guy last night, who I assume was an ex.” He dips his chin, eyeing me.

I nod. “Yeah, a real piece of work is what I like to call him.”

He resumes chewing, “right, so he’s just doing what he does best. Playing football. And can you blame him?”

I watch Cliff as he brushes the crumbs off his shirt, takes a swig of his orange juice, and then lets out a long belch.

“Excuse me.” He pounds on his chest with his fist to get the last of it out. “You can pull some good-looking guys. I will give you that. But I’ve always told my boys that the mediocre-looking chicks try harder in bed. And I’m sure you’re good with that mouth and lips of yours.” He winks. “I see why he may have wanted to keep you around longer and got tangled up in the idea of you, or drama, which is one thing Colt doesn’t do. The boy would rather lose to the Dallas Cowboys than deal with drama. He’s always been some dreamy pessimist or some shit.”

“He’s an Aquarius.”

“Huh?”

“He’s like air. That’s why he runs from stuff. He drifts through life, and he doesn’t just run. He avoids it altogether.”

“Oh, that zodiac crap. I never believed in all that witchy-bogus.” He waves me off with his hand.

In my head, I had already started sizing Cliff up and pinpointing what zodiac sign he was. I bet he was also an air sign or a Leo, just like Josh.

“Anyway, if you’re worried about not seeing Colt before he leaves, I’m sure he’ll tap that a few more times before he jets. He has my blood running through his veins, so I can almost bet on it, sugar.” he licks his lips and eyes me up and down.

I’m wearing my usual jogging gear, and I'm not sure if Cliff was aware of how pitiful he came off or he was just that oblivious to how repulsive he was since he thought women actually wanted him. “I have no idea what Blake saw in you.” I say under my breath.

Cliff is peeling a banana he grabbed from the fruit basket in the middle of the island, but he stops the second. I say Blake’s name.

“Blake? You knew, Blake?”

“Yeah, and now that I’ve met you, I agree with Colt. There’s nothing about you to idolize except your million-dollar smile and sperm. You got good genetics, I’ll give you that.”

All the children I know of anyway. I’ve met three of the Killian brothers, who were all model-good-looking. “But to dedicate a whole song about you just shows how little he knew you.”

I’m starving and don’t want to walk off, but this feeling of hunger is nothing compared to the questions eating me alive. I walk out the back door, letting the screen door slam shut behind me, not caring to see the dumbfounded expression on Cliff’s face. Before I said anything else, I needed to get out of the kitchen and away from that man.

Right when I walk into my room, I notice the time on the clock—11:11 am.

Please, Blake, give me the strength to listen to this CD and get through it without breaking down.

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