Page 29 of Pucks and Likes

She shrugs. “I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”

“With words, Elliot,” I demand, my eyes burning into hers as my heart slams in my chest. “You know I grew up without a father, and you were going to put my child through that?”

“No,” she insists, her eyes going wide. “I was going to tell you.”

“When?”

“I don’t know,” she admits, more tears spilling. “Maybe when the season was over. But then you showed up, and…here we are.”

I shake my head, pissed beyond belief. “I should have been there for you. I should have been given the opportunity to go to doctors’ appointments, to get you the foods you were craving, to feel them kick. I mean, fuck, Elliot, my dad didn’t want that stuff, but I do. You robbed me of all that.”

“I know.” Her voice is so soft, and it’s like a knife in my chest. “I was scared. I had just told you I didn’t want to be with you, and then I come up pregnant. I was confused, Alex, and I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

I can see the guilt and the remorse in her eyes—hell, her whole body is vibrating with the emotions. “I would have been there for you.”

She hiccups a sob and nods. “I know.”

Breathless, I ask, “Who else knows? Your sisters?”

Elliot quickly shakes her head. “I haven’t told anyone. No one knows. Just my doctor.”

“So, you’ve been doing this alone for six months?” I ask incredulously. Fuck, why does she have to be so strong? And why do I love that she is? “Why?”

“Because I didn’t want anyone to know until I told you.”

My anger falters a bit as I hold her gaze.

“I am so sorry for keeping it from you for this long, Alex. I truly am. But please believe me that I had every intention of telling you. I was just so scared.”

“Scared of what?” I ask, unable to process what she is saying. “I’d demand an abortion? I’d abandon you? What the fuck, Elliot?”

“No,” she cries, wiping her face. “Alex, it’s not that.”

“Do you truly think that little of me?”

“No,” she whispers, shaking her head.

“Then what, Elliot? If you know, then why didn’t you tell me?”

She presses her lips tightly together, wiping away her tears. “I don’t know.”

“That’s a lie,” I accuse, my eyes burning into hers. “Tell me the truth.”

“I can’t.”

“Tell me.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t, Alex. I can’t.”

“So, what? You’ll make me wait another six months for the answer? Maybe around their first birthday?”

She shakes her head again, her tears falling anew. “I don’t know,” she says, her voice almost hysterical. “You don’t understand.”

“Try me, and if I don’t understand, make me. I need answers here, Elliot.”

She continues to shake her head, her lips swollen, her eyes the same as her tears fall quicker.

“I know you’ve been hurt, mi sol, but I would never do so. I won’t.”

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