“No, not at all,” I say, looking away and feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. Why am I dragging this out? I just need to say it. Tell him, and be ready for the repercussions. This isn’t fair to him or me. More so him than me, but the faster I tell him, the quicker the flirting and the wanting me will stop. I’ve done him wrong, and I need to rectify that. He’ll be stuck with me for the next eighteen years, but I’d rather it be on good terms. I owe him that.
I meet his gaze, and his eyes are just so inviting, so kind, and they make me feel things I don’t deserve to feel. Yet, I see the curiosity. I press my lips together and swallow hard, willing myself not to be a coward.
“Are you pregnant?” Alex’s question catches me off guard, and my mouth parts in utter shock.
How…
I squeeze my hands together to the point that my knuckles are white. I don’t look away as his eyes beg for the truth.
“Yes,” I whisper as tears burn in my eyes.
His face is unchanging, his eyes darkening as he stares into mine. He doesn’t allow me to look away, not that I would. I owe him the eye contact. The truth. His voice is guttural as he asks, “Is it mine?”
A tear leaks out, but I don’t brush it away. I only stare into the eyes of my child’s father and whisper, “Yes.”
CHAPTER 12
Alex
When I was sixteen, I was in goal, kicking ass as usual, when a guy slap shot the shit out of the puck, and it somehow hit me in just the right spot that it bent the cage of my face mask and knocked me unconscious. When I woke, I didn’t know who I was, what I was doing, or even how I got on that sheet of ice. I was scared, pissed off, and thankful to be alive.
That’s how I feel right now as I watch Elliot’s tears spill down over her sweet cheeks.
I’ve never seen her cry, and honestly, I don’t care for it.
I want to wipe her tears away, I want to kiss her plush mouth, but I refrain.
I’m going to be a dad.
I need answers. I need to know what the hell she was thinking. How could she keep this from me?
As soon as she got that green look on her face when the food came, it all started to click. I may be the youngest of five boys, but I have aunts, uncles, and now I have my brothers’ pregnant wives. Hell, my sister-in-law Ise puked on my shoes when I came in with Takis last summer. Elliot looked just like Ise had, and it’s been hard to sit across from her and not demand answers.
“How far along?” I don’t even recognize my voice, it’s so low and gravelly.
She flinches a bit, but my girl doesn’t look away. She holds my gaze, that little chin high and those eyes intently on mine. “Six months yesterday.”
“When did you find out?”
“Christmas.” She sits up a bit straighter and inhales deeply before letting it out in a whoosh. “I took, like, eight pregnancy tests because I didn’t believe it.”
I hate that I wasn’t there. That I didn’t hold her as we waited for the test to tell us one way or the other. “Do you know what it is?”
She shakes her head, another gush of tears spilling down her face. “I didn’t want to know without you knowing too.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, my voice breaking. I clear my throat, running my hands down my face before leaning forward on my thighs. “My phone number didn’t change or my Instagram. Hell, you knew where I was.”
Her lips quiver, but still, she doesn’t look away. “At first, I wanted to be sure I was. And then, when the doctor confirmed it, you had just had your first shutout with the Assassins. I knew if I told you, it’d mess with your game, and you’d want to come back to be with me or ask me to come there. I didn’t want to distract you.”
“So instead, you kept me in the dark for six months while my child grew inside you.” It’s not a question, and the way her eyes flash lets me know I’ve hit a nerve.
“I had hurt you, Alex. I didn’t want to rub more salt into the wound.”
“This isn’t salt, Elliot. This is a child. My child.”
She presses her lips together as she nods. “I know.”
“I don’t know what I would have done, but I deserved to know. It should have been my choice, just as much as it was your choice to keep it from me. What was the plan? Wait till it came and then let me know?”