Page 82 of Searching Blind

Zak was unrepentant. “Aw, hear that? She thinks my face is pretty.”

“For a Neanderthal.”

Sawyer opened his mouth to tell them all to fuck off, but the door slammed open again and Shane Trevisano stalked in.

He was the newest member of their group, and still carried that flinty edge of a man not comfortable with attending therapy. “Let’s get this over with. We all got work to do.”

“Ry’s not here yet,” Zak pointed out.

“Rylan isn’t coming,” Shane said, and a chair scraped across the floor as he pulled it into the circle. “He’s out looking for his sister. We should all be out there helping, not in here talking about our fucking feelings.”

“Ry would be the first to disagree with you about that. And we have been searching for her,” Zak said. The whole mood in the room darkened. “Every minute from dawn until dusk, but we have to take care of ourselves, too. There’s no sense in us killing ourselves to find her when she’s most likely no longer alive.”

There was an umph of an elbow hitting soft flesh and Veronica said chidingly, “Zak.”

“What? We all know it. If she was at Rylan’s apartment when the quake hit, she’s been buried in rubble for a week. Better we face it now than be blindsided with it later. For once, Ry’s going to need us to be his support.”

“We could really use Pierce and Razzy right about now,” Donovan muttered. “They’d find her.”

A silence fell over the group.

Nobody wanted to say what they were all thinking: If Pierce was also buried somewhere, he wasn’t ever coming back.

The air in the room became so heavy it was tangible, pressing on them from all sides. Sawyer rubbed his temples, the headache that had been simmering beneath the surface now blaring loud and persistent.

“Okay, let’s... let’s focus,” Veronica said, her voice wavering just slightly as she took control. “Rylan would want us to have the meeting. Sawyer, do you want to talk about your recent breakup?”

Sawyer scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s there to talk about? It’s over.”

“But do you want it to be?” Veronica pressed.

He opened his mouth to reply, but found no words came out. His chest tightened, and he had to force himself to swallow. “No,” he admitted finally. “I don’t. I’m all in, but every time I think she’s right there with me, she pulls back. What if—” He stopped, the words catching in his throat.

“What if… what?” Donovan asked.

“What if it’s because I’m blind?”

Zak scoffed. “Come on.” But then after a heavy moment of silence, he asked incredulously, “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Of course he’s serious,” Veronica said with a duh in her tone. “God. Are you sure you idiots aren’t the blind ones? Sawyer’s always been sensitive about it.”

“He has?” Donovan said, nothing but confusion in his voice.

“But he’s so… capable,” Zak said.

He hated when people talked about him like he wasn’t there, like his disability somehow made him invisible or unable to speak for himself. “I am still in the room, guys. Talk to me, not about me.”

“Sorry,” Zak and Donovan said at the same time.

“Why would think your blindness has anything to do with it?” Zak asked.

Shame washed through him. “Because… I couldn’t protect her.”

“For real, dude?” Donovan said. “From what we saw, you put up one hell of a fight. I know sighted people that can’t do even half of what you did up there. Or, hell, on a daily basis. Ask me, you’re a goddamn superhero, and if Lucy doesn’t know that, she’s not worth it.”

“But she is worth it.” The protest was instant.

“Why?” Zak asked.

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