Page 17 of With This Wish

His eyes immediately brighten. “That would be great,” he says, spinning in his chair and reaching back to ruffle JJ’s curls. “If it’s okay, do you think I could stay for bedtime too?” His eyes widen and a blush comes across his face. “JJ’s bedtime, I mean. Obviously.”

I nod, stifling a smile. “Oh, obviously,” I tell him, unable to hide my smirk any longer. “And yes, I think if everything goes well, you can stay for bedtime. Though be warned, it can get a little hairy on car nap days.” I’ll be surprised if JJ is at all agreeable tonight, but maybe we’ll get lucky.

“I think I’m up for the challenge,” he assures me. I sure hope he means what he says. It’s easy to want to stick around when your kid is all sunshine and cute smiles, but when things get rough, the desire to escape can get very, very real. Everything in my being tells me he’ll stay, and I kick myself for not being more specific with my wish last night. I wished for Jake to come back to us, but I should have added one word that could make all the difference. I should have added the word “stay.”

Chapter Fourteen

Jake

The apartment above Hodgepodge looks almost exactly as I remember it. The exposed brick walls and hardwood floors are the same contrasting shades of brown, the blue sofa and chairs still sit in front of the large window that is currently letting in the afternoon sun, and the kitchen is still small, but cozy, with an elegant-looking dining table sitting on the other side of the island. I would bet good money the table is one their father created. It has an older style that’s different from the pieces I’ve viewed of Carter’s. Speaking of Carter, the man is staring at me, a vaguely menacing expression on his face as he leans against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest.

Seeing that he’s not going to budge, I step up to him as Maya removes her and JJ’s coats. “You must be Carter,” I say, extending a hand. “I’m Jake. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Carter looks at my hand like I recently stuck it in the toilet or one of JJ’s soiled diapers, but he grips it and gives it a shake anyway. His grip is strong, probably from all the woodworking he does, and while I can tell he’s trying to intimidate me, it won’t work. First, I have at least three inches on him and workout regularly, but more than that, I have only good intentions toward his sister and nephew, so there’s really no reason for him to be protective, though I understand his motivation for doing so. “Nice to meet you too,” Carter replies, pulling me closer. “You hurt either one of them and I will drop you so far down into the bottom of that lake out there no one will ever find you.”

“Carter!” Maya’s exasperated voice sounds near us and Carter drops my hand, stepping back and looking slightly abashed. “There’s no need for that.”

Carter tosses his hands up. “All right,” he says, looking over at me with a shrug. “Sorry, man. My dad was the Viking, not me. Doesn’t mean I don’t still try every now and then.”

I chuckle lightly to dispel the remaining tension between us. “No worries,” I tell him as I remove my own coat. “I appreciate you defending the two of them so diligently.” My lightheartedness dies off as I realize that Carter is probably one of the main reasons Maya and JJ are doing as well as they are. Adopting a more serious tone, I step up and clasp the man’s shoulder. “Actually, I appreciate a lot more than just that.” I swallow my hurt pride at not having been able to provide for my family and take a deep breath. “Thank you for helping take such good care of Maya and JJ. It means a lot to me.”

Carter blushes slightly and lifts a shoulder, clearly uncomfortable with my words. “It’s not a big deal, but you’re welcome.”

I simply nod, not wanting to give any more unwanted attention to him than necessary. Maya mentioned Carter was a lot shier than she was, and clearly she knows what she’s talking about. Stepping over to JJ, I kneel down to him and help take his shoes off. I glance over at Maya to see her smiling at us, and my breath catches again at just how strikingly beautiful she is. Her eyes that seem to see into my soul and her blonde locks that reflect the light still remind me of some otherworldly creature, someone too magical for the likes of me, yet I want her anyway. “What’s on the agenda for this afternoon?” I ask. The question is an attempt to refocus on the three of us instead of trying to get some alone time with Maya. There will be plenty of time for that since I plan on sticking around for a while.

“Hmm,” she says, tapping her hand on the side of her leg. “Normally Sundays are for grocery shopping, but Carter already took care of that.” Her head nods gratefully at her brother. “So I guess it’s really anything goes.”

I turn to JJ, smiling down at his little face. “Hey, bud,” I say to him, holding out my hand. “Want to show me your room?” JJ nods emphatically and grabs onto my thumb, pulling me toward the room that I remember as Maya’s.

Standing, I follow along quickly as he leads me into the doorway and stops in front of a small bed with sheets covered with woodland animals. I pointedly ignore the queen-sized bed in the room, not wanting to go down a rabbit hole of memories of the time I spent in it with Maya. Those thoughts are not kid-time appropriate, so I maintain my focus on JJ as he moves around. Next to the bed is a small bookcase with books, a few stuffed toys, and a wooden block set, but not much else. “My room,” he explains. His small hands reach onto the bookshelf to grab the container of wooden blocks before hauling it to the rug on the floor. “Play a-me?” he asks, and of course my answer is yes.

“I would love to play with you,” I tell him sincerely. Happiness causes my heart to swell once more as I plop down on the ground in the small space between the bookshelf and Maya’s bed. Grabbing a few of the blocks and starting to stack them up, I inspect each one as I do. The surface of the blocks is smooth and shiny, and as I look at the carvings on the sides, I can see that they’re most likely another custom Carter creation. I’m slightly jealous that he’s been able to give so much to my son when I have given so little, but I try to remind myself that I’m going to change all that. Stowing my hurt feelings for later, I turn my focus to playing with JJ. “What should we make fist, bud? Do you want to make a castle, or should we build a fort?” They’re basically the same thing, but he doesn’t know that and I’m really just trying to see how many words he can use.

“Make fort,” he says with a smile. He pushes more of the blocks at me. After I stack a bunch together and make my approximation of a fort, JJ reaches to the bed behind him and grabs a stuffed dog. Making small barking noises, he makes the dog hop over to the blocks and proceeds to smash the fort.

I laugh as the dog demolishes my hard work. “There goes the fort,” I say through a chuckle, enjoying the look of happiness on my little boy’s face.

“Again,” he shouts, pushing the blocks toward me once more. One look into his deep-blue eyes has me smiling and stacking the blocks all over again.

“Uh-oh,” Maya calls from the open doorway. I look over and see a wry smile on her face. “I can tell this little guy already has you wrapped around his finger.”

I shrug and smile wider. “Not even going to try and deny it,” I tell her. With rapt attention, I watch as she walks over to the bed and lays down on it, her body turned toward the two of us. Thank God, JJ starts demanding I keep building because I was dangerously close to fantasizing about the last time I saw Maya in that bed and how the two of us passed the time that night.

After another twenty minutes of blocks, I look over to Maya on the bed. Her eyes are closed as her head lies upon a bent arm as she naps peacefully. Realizing she probably gotten about as much rest as I did last night and knowing she’s probably about three years behind on regular sleep, I hold a finger up to my mouth for JJ to be quiet and sneak him out of the room. After closing the door, I walk JJ over to the dining table where Carter is working on a laptop. “Caju,” JJ exclaims happily, running over to his uncle for a hug. He climbs onto Carter’s lap readily, and I squash that jealously down once more. Eyes on the prize, Jake, I remind myself. It’s not about what I lost, but about what I’ve gained and what I need to do to keep it.

“Hey, Little J.” Carter kisses the top of JJ’s head and shuts his laptop. He looks up at me with a furrowed brow as I approach the dining table. “Where’s Maya?”

I hike a thumb over my shoulder and point to her bedroom. “She fell asleep while we were playing, so I thought it best to leave her be,” I explain. My mind blanks as I try to think of what JJ and I can do together now. We’ve played a lot today, but surely there are other things one does with a child. Maybe I should pick up a parenting book or two from the bookshop I spied on our drive after lunch. Or, I could suck it up and ask the one other person who knows my son best. He is sitting in front of me, after all. “The two of us played with his blocks already … is there some other activity he likes to do?”

“Sure,” Carter says, pointing to a basket in the corner. “We set up a play area in the office downstairs for him until he starts preschool next year, so we keep most of his toys there, but there are a few items he likes. He also loves watching Daniel Tiger every now and then.”

My brow furrows. I don’t know much about kids, but I have seen articles and heard people in the office talk about kids and screen time over the years. They all say that it’s a bad thing, so I’m not sure JJ watching television is what’s best for him. “Does he watch a lot of television? I mean, I’ve heard stuff on the news about the importance of limiting screen time, so I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”

Carter stares at me a moment, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Finally, he nods curtly. “Oh, heard things, have you?” he asks. He moves and sets JJ down on his seat, setting him up with some paper and crayons. “Hey, Little J. Do you want to draw Mommy a picture?” JJ nods and grabs at an almost comically large green crayon and starts scribbling on the white paper. Carter smiles at JJ, but when his face turns to me, the smile drops right off his face and his expression morphs into something much less friendly. “Follow me,” he commands as he steps over to the other side of the room. When he turns, his expression is not only unfriendly, it’s downright hostile. “What the fuck, man?” he asks in a harsh whisper.

I shake my head, totally caught off guard by the venom I hear in his voice. “What do you mean? I was only asking a question.” I’m not sure what I said that set him off, but clearly I’ve made some kind of misstep, at least in his eyes.

Carter crosses his arms over his chest defensively. “No, you were only implying that whatever you have heard means that the way Maya has been parenting him is subpar.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, Jake. I’m sure you’re a good guy, and I know Maya cares a great deal about you and wants everything to work out with the three of you.”

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