Page 26 of The Kitchen Contract

“It just seems like a big leap. I hope they don’t jump to any conclusions.”

She looks stressed with her wide eyes and pinched lips, though I still don’t all the way understand why. “Sleepy kitty.”

She freezes and blinks for several seconds before her face softens. “You’re right. I’m overthinking this. You’re a good friend to invite me, and I don’t have any plans, so I’ll be there.” She nods as if to confirm it with herself.

“Wow,” I say with a wide smile. “I wasn’t expecting that to work so well.”

She gives me a withering look. “Just you wait. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until I get to say ‘armadillo’.”

18

NORA

How is it that the times in my life that should feel the most joyful are often the times that I feel the most anxiety and tension?

I blow out a breath as I stand before my floor-length mirror. As soon as I got home from work today, I immediately started stressing out about what to wear to Alex’s house. As I study my reflection, I actually feel pretty confident that I’ve struck the right balance between comfortable and stylish with a loose white tank top tucked into chambray shorts, paired with tan leather flip-flops. I accessorized simply for the occasion with a red bandana tied around my high ponytail and a stack of thin beaded leather bracelets. With a swimsuit base layer and waterproof mascara, I’m prepared for if I want to get in the pool.

What I’m not prepared for is hanging out with Alex’s family. I know I’m reading too much into this. I’m sure that I’m the only person in the world who would be worried about someone mistaking me for Alex’s girlfriend.

The more I’ve considered it—and trust me, I’ve thought about it plenty over the last week—I’ve started to realize that part of the problem is that I’m not opposed to actually being his girlfriend. With as much time as we’ve spent together recently, I’ve become convinced that he’s a great guy. Add in the hotness factor that apparently the entire internet agrees on, and he’s a real catch. He’s kind and funny, sometimes a little hyper, but also confident and reliable.

So, does it hurt my feelings a little bit that he hasn’t made any kind of move to ask me out or shown any kind of interest in me outside of friendship? Am I a bit sensitive to that fact? Maybe, just slightly. Although I did kind of freak out on him when he invited me, so maybe part of it’s on me. Maybe I don’t seem open to more than friendship.

I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but the friends that I’m comfortable enough with to bring up boy problems are either related to or best friends with a relative of the boy in question. Getting Annie or Kayla involved seems like a terrible idea, especially after the way they pushed him to lend me his kitchen. While I’m grateful for their assistance and am now confident that he really is okay with our arrangement, I don’t ever want to wonder if he only asked me out because he felt pressured.

Which leaves it up to him. Or up to me, I guess.

I am a modern woman, am I not? What’s to stop me from being the one to ask him out? The answer is old-fashioned sentimentality and a desire to be pursued. I don’t want to give that up, but what if I just kind of helped him out? Maybe a bit of flirting is in order, a little something to prime the proverbial pump and help him see me in a different way.

Could I really do that? No one who knows me would describe me as bold. I’m about as risk-averse as a person can be, with trying new foods being the one notable exception to that generality.

Do I have it in me to flirt with Alex when I don’t know if he will reciprocate? I square my shoulders and look myself in the eye.

“You can do this, Nora.” The fact that the sound of my own voice in my quiet apartment startles me a little doesn’t inspire a ton of confidence.

I pump myself up on the drive to Alex’s house with as much positive self-talk as I can muster.

I am an attractive woman with a big heart.

I would be an excellent girlfriend.

I can do hard, uncomfortable things.

I will be fine, no matter what.

I also make the decision just as I pull into his driveway that I want flirting with Alex to be as natural as possible, so I will only say or do things that feel right in the moment. No forcing it. If that means I don’t end up flirting today, then I’m fine with that. No pressure. I don’t work well under pressure, even from myself.

I let myself in, per Alex’s instructions this time, and make my way to the backyard. It feels weird arriving empty-handed, but he was adamant that he wanted to prepare every bite of food himself.

Alex greets me from behind the grill as I walk through the French doors.

“Hey Nora-Sue, how’s it going?”

I prop my hands on my hips. This is the worst nickname yet, and completely inexplicable. “Hey, Xander. Thanks for inviting me to your party.”

“Xander?” A male voice to my left catches me off-guard, and I whip my head in his direction. I was so distracted by Alex being ridiculous that I didn’t even notice him there.

I school my expression to hide my embarrassment as I address the dark-haired man with the same ice-blue eyes as Alex. “Yes, it’s the new nickname I gave him. You know, Alexander.” I shoot a glare at Alex to let him know this awkwardness is his fault, but he just looks amused.

---