Page 77 of Falling for Fury

“So?”

“Dad hacked into Matt’s computer.” The man who set standards for us involving integrity, honor, and never behaving less than the number in our trust fund? Am I hearing this properly? “He found information from AIM that was a part of a confidential deal with my work. It involved an environment company that went public about a year ago, and the product this information is related to is apparently going to increase their stock price, making them the market leaders. Dad saw the information and leaked the tip for a payout.” Ava’s tone is bored as she relays the information. I look at the man accused. He sits slumped in his chair, pale to my probably cherry red cheeks, as his dirty laundry is aired. This man, being the same man who held impossibly high standards I was never going to reach, told me about what it meant to have a work ethic, to be high class, to be better than everyone else, to not be pathetic. To have honor and only achieve greatness because anything less would make you worthless. The man who told me dreams get you nowhere, and unless I got a real job and made real-adult choices, I would go nowhere in life. My heart beats rapidly as I try to control my breathing, my rage. All the times I was told I would amount to nothing, the times he shook his head at me, curled his lip and tsked at the disappointment I am. This liar and manipulator.

“Oh, and he was having an affair with his secretary,” Riley chimes in with some finer detail.

Addison

The edges of my vision tinge with red, hearing only the blood rushing in my ears as fury floods my veins and takes over my body. I feel nothing and everything at once as I launch off the couch.

“You motherfucker!” My fury explodes as I scream at Dad and storm towards him, hands in fists. I hear faint noises behind me. The blood drains from my dad’s face as tears stream down his cheeks. He takes a few steps back as I gain on him before he is against the wall and I am in his face.

“You piece of shit coward! All these years you hold us up to unreachable fucking standards, meanwhile you were down in the gutters lying, cheating, deceiving, and manipulating. FOR WHAT?! You lose the love and respect of your kids, of your wife, FOR WHAT?!” I slap the wall next to his head, needing to hit something as I scream the words.

“Ad—”

“You shut your fucking mouth! I don’t want to hear a single word from your mouth, you dirty fucking liar.” I lean in extra close, my eyes tracing over every pathetic inch of this monster’s face as I make sure he hears me good. “I don’t ever want to see or speak to you, ever again.” I turn to storm my furious ass out of that godforsaken house when Henry grabs my arm to turn me to him.

“Addison, just wait a second, I am still your da—” His words are cut off as I throw a fist into his jaw, releasing his grip on my arm.

“You might be my father by blood, but you are not my dad.” I scowl in his face and turn, making it only to the lounge when I see Ava and Riley, huddled on the couch, tears streaming down their cheeks, their faces frozen in fear. Jessie stands in the doorway, stunned, fighting between his inner rage and shock.

A sound breaks the stark silence. Laughing? Riley lifts her head to look at me, confusion and shock plastered all over her. It’s me. I am laughing.

No one else seems to find this as hilarious as my brain does right now. Mom’s face is covered as she cries, Ava looks a mix between shame and frustration at my laughing, while Riley still just looks confused. Furious energy hums all around Jessie, who is still in the doorway. Furious at what, I can’t tell. Me, for laughing? At his father for being a piece of trash? At Ava, and whoever else, from keeping it a secret? Or did he already know, too? You know what? I don’t even fucking care at this point.

I’m still laughing uncontrollably—perhaps this is my psychotic break. Laughing at the whole ridiculousness of this situation. My father, who is probably half the reason I have crippling depression and is 100% the reason for my rage, is just a pathetic, lying, cheating coward. HA! How fucked is that? Twenty five years of comparing my success, of listening to the words I’m not good enough, from someone who was never even on the same playing field because he was too busy living in the slums.

“Addy?” That smooth whisky voice I’ve come to love over the last month floats its way across the room, and I see Noah standing next to Jessie in the doorway–who is sizing up Noah with a mixture of confusion and anger.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Karvelas?” Jessie accuses.

“He’s my boyfriend,” I shout at Jessie. I wish it sounded more loving, but the rage simmering under my skin hasn’t found its way out completely yet. Maybe I could go back and smack Dad in the jaw again.

Everyone looks between Noah and me with confusion, the ghost of a smile on Ava’s face, and it settles my fury the tiniest bit to see that despite everything I think she might be happy for me. Noah shuffles awkwardly on his feet.

“What are you doing here? I thought you left?” I ask him. His eyes dart to Ava for a split second, so fast I almost miss it. When I turn my head to her, she shrugs and Noah nods.

“Okay, what was that?” My heart rate increases again and that intuition deep in my belly is screaming at me. Wrong, something is wrong.

“Addison…” Noah takes a step toward me, his steps are slow, his hands are defensive, and his voice is placating.

“Hear him out, Addy.” Hear him out? Hear him OUT?!

“You knew?” I whisper, because I can’t even believe the words are coming out of Ava’s mouth. Hear him out, as in, not only did my entire family keep a whopping secret from me, but… Noah was in on this, too? Shame, embarrassment, and humiliation make my face heat, and my stomach turns, threatening to empty its contents in front of everyone.

He knew? I turn back to Ava, and she looks at me from lowered lids, sheepish and cowardly. It feels like the floor tilts slightly as I struggle to catch my breath, struggle to make this make sense. Like a spotlight highlights the spot where I stand and everyone I know and loved stands there, pointing at me, laughing at me. I’m the idiot who is toyed with and laughed at, the butt of everyone’s joke.

“Please let me explain.” His steps are quicker to get to me and I let him. Let him stand in front of me, so he can feel the wrath of betrayal seeping out of me, struggling for control. He knew. He lied. So easily he lied to me. Today. Yesterday? I love you, he said. What he meant was, you can’t trust me. God! I feel so fucking stupid. How could I have been so stupid? Of course, there isn’t a single person on this planet that has ever really accepted me for me. Not even Noah, despite his declarations of love, can truly accept me. Instead, they all walk on eggshells, labeling me this rageful monster, giving me no room for change or growth. No room to be better. Slap a damaged goods sticker on my forehead and leave on the bottom shelf of Good Will. I’m sure they’d treat me better there.

“When?”

“It was the trip to Maplewood.” Before I can stop myself, my palm finds Noah’s cheek in a stinging slap that I feel to the depth of my soul. He’s known for three months. Told me he loved me when he could have told me this. Told me he doesn’t break promises when he could have told me this. Told me he thought it was always meant to be me… but instead decided to hide this from me.

I love you.

I love you.

I love him, too. I can’t… the pain… the… I can’t breathe.

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