Page 39 of Falling for Fury

“Nothing is up with him and Addison. Right, Karvelas?” Matt levels me with a deadpan, sipping his beer.

“Right.” I avoid eye contact, and Lucas snickers under his breath as I level him with a silencing stare. I have no idea what Addy has told him, if anything. I can’t imagine it’s much considering her first shift was yesterday. The thought of her already being close with Lucas, though, annoys me for reasons I am trying to ignore. But I plan to keep whatever those feelings are from Matt for as long as possible.

“Liar,” Ethan provides his two cents, and his shit-eating grin establishes that he knows exactly what trouble he is stirring up.

“You were all torn up over her before you went away. Surely there is development there.” Fucking Caleb.

“Seriously, Noah. C’mon man, I asked you to stay away.” Matt’s less angry, more resigned, almost like he knew this would happen.

“Look, she is an adult. As am I. I appreciate you wanting to look out for her, but I think you need to respect the decisions she chooses to make. Which I’m sure you’ll be happy to know she shut me down.” The guys, save for Matt, almost simultaneously spit their beers and laugh at my pathetic admission. Matt smiles and just shakes his head.

“You’re going to need to provide details on that.” Caleb states.

“At Maplewood… well, I kind of…well… we… well, I—”

“C’mon, say words, Noah, you’re a big boy,” Ethan chastises. I release a grunt, which was meant to be a sigh, dragging my hands down my face.

“She is under my skin. I don’t know how or… why. I just can’t stop thinking about her. She certainly doesn’t like me the same way.”

Fun.

“I think I blew it when I pretty much rejected her right after…” I cough awkwardly, glad I was able to stop myself before saying too much with Matt present.

“You dirty dog. You fucked De Luca’s sister?” The size of Caleb’s smile should be illegal, Christ. “No!” I direct mostly at Matt before he decides to land a punch to my jaw. “We didn’t, we just had… a moment, I guess. A few moments. I don’t know how she does it, but I just… ugh I fucking feel things, and I would like to stop. Feeling. Things.” I hate myself as the words come out. I make myself look the guys in the eyes. Ethan is contemplative, Lucas is just enjoying my pain and total lack of game, Caleb’s shit-eating grin reminds me why I never talk to him about serious shit, but Matt remains pensive, almost unreadable in his expression. Caleb is all but bursting at the seams from holding his laugh, his face almost purple. Before he finally relents and laughs in my face.

“Oh god, Karvelas, you have it bad!” He shakes his head a few times, his smile dying as I lean back in my chair and screw my eyes shut.

“Wait… isn’t finally finding someone who doesn’t bore you to death, and makes you actually feel things, a good thing? Isn’t that, like, what people want?” Lucas chimes in, obviously confused by my pained look.

“Not what I want. Or at least it wasn’t.”

Ethan gives me a serious look. “Look, it’s been a while since I have dated seriously, but we’re thirty, or at least some of us.” He looks to Lucas, who rolls his eyes. “Are you really going to just stay single forever?” Well, yeah, that was the plan… “And what about your very Greek family? When do you plan to tell them that you aren’t giving them grandchildren because you prefer the bachelor life? If that were me, my Nonna would have a heart attack and then proceed to slap me around with a sandal.” Lucas gestures the Sign-of-the-Cross, while Matt raises his beer in agreement. I think of breaking that news to my mother, and then I think of the novel-sized lecture I’d receive following that.

“Look, this conversation is pointless.” Addison just wants fun. I have lost count of the number of ways I’d have fun with her, and none of them involve settling down, but I also don’t know if she really knows what she is asking for. She doesn’t strike me as a casual-sex kind of woman, and for some reason, I’m struggling to come to terms with her being like every other one-night stand.

“Okay, buddy, whatever you say.” Caleb gives me an unconvinced smirk and heads for the bathroom as he sings on his way out. “Noah and Addison sitting in a tree…”

“Jokes aside, if you’re actually serious about her, I won’t stand in your way. If you make it work. I will still kick your fucking ass if you hurt her. If this is something you are just getting out of your system, you stay the fuck away, Noah. I’m serious.” That he is. Matt looks a bit like he has blown a gasket with the redness of his face. Jesus. I nod at him and give him a thankful smirk. Glad he wouldn’t stand in my way, but also anxious. I don’t know what this is between us. I don’t want anything to become between Matt and me, and I certainly don’t want to cause issues between them. Then there is the shit with work that is really where all my energy and brain power should be spent. I just… Honestly, I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

Addison

“The final revision lecture is on Wednesday at 3pm. If you want a chance to actually succeed in the final, I suggest you attend.” The sound of my professor’s condescension rakes down my spine as I exit the class and make a bee-line for the train, but perhaps this is the reason he has the highest attendance out of each class. So far, the intellectual law unit has been the smoothest. The final semester has been a bit more of a breeze than I had imagined, managing to squeeze my internship in while I was at Phoenix Legal last semester, IP is manageable, employment and tax law, those last two however, have been absolute killers. The Bar prep course is a fucking snooze—maybe because my heart isn’t in it? These are just more anxiety inducing thoughts I am shelving for a time when my mental capacity has expanded, or I implode, whichever occurs first.

As I leave the train and walk down the street to my apartment, I applaud myself because I studied like crazy from the moment we got back from Maplewood. I had an excellent first shift on Sunday, and I managed to keep a certain tall-dark-handsome giant completely out of my thoughts. Well, almost completely.

I did have one or two moments in a daydream—remembering his lips, mouth, tongue. “Ugh, pull it together.” Scoffing at myself as my thoughts wander there again on the way home.

See you soon, Addison.

The four stupidest words, and I still can’t get the sound of his voice and the feel of his breath across my lips as he said them out of my head. I’m angry at myself, again, the usual feeling I get post Noah-induced thoughts.

“Woah,” I grunt at being caught in my display of rage as I slam the apartment door closed behind me. I really need to stop being caught like this.

“I want to burn all the men,” I say, looking out the window, blinking back the tears that are trying to escape as fury tries to find a way out from under my skin. The rage that picks something small, something inconsequential to latch on to, and fester until my skin thrums with a furious energy I can’t expend. Casey and Rosie share a look.

“You’ve barely said anything since you got home. Have you heard from Noah since Maplewood? Maybe he doesn’t know you’re back?”

“I am sure he knows. I am sure he and Lucas have pow-wowed about me already. Sharing their judgments and side notes.”

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