Page 84 of Textbook Romance

‘See you Monday, Jack. Good to bump into you.’

He puts a fist out. Oh, we’re fist bumping. I guess that’s better than me snogging his face off. I bump it back and he goes chasing after his nephews, his figure shrinking, moving further away from me. I try to dust off my coat, letting Lottie, Dylan and Brian walk ahead of me while I try to take a breath.

‘Hazards of little people, I am so sorry about the coat.’ I hear a voice behind me. It’s Dom, grappling with his football equipment.

I bend down to take a first aid kit and walk alongside him. ‘It’s fine. I can throw it in the wash.’

‘Could you maybe throw those boys in, too?’ he jokes.

I smile. ‘Thank you, by the way. That was a little tense, and it wasn’t the place to perhaps explain all the dynamics of how we all know each other.’

Dom nods. ‘I get it, it’s pretty complicated. I never thanked you for enduring Laser Tag either, so I think we’re even.’

I laugh and we take that walk back to the car park, quietly.

‘Laser Tag was actually very fun. It was nice to see Jack around his family. He certainly loves those boys, eh?’ I tell him.

‘Uncle of the decade, really. I guess you know our story?’ he asks me.

‘Jack may have talked about it. I am so sorry you had to go through that. What was your wife’s name?’ I ask him.

He seems taken aback that I should want to know the details. ‘Amy,’ he says proudly. ‘That’s where the twins get it from, all of it. She’d have been here today, cheering them on, most likely shouting at the referee. God, she was a liability. Just in the best ways.’

His eyes glaze over and I feel his grief, all of it. I even understand it a little. We grieve those lives we’ll never have with people we once loved.

‘Jack really likes you, you know?’ Dom says, randomly, as if he’s not really sure whether it’s his place.

‘He does?’ I enquire.

‘It’s just, he came to me a few weeks back to chat about you. That’s very rare for Jack.’

‘I guess he told you about the new job?’ I ask Dom, testing the water. He stops for a moment, his interest obviously piqued, and pretends to fiddle with his football bag.

‘There’s a new job – a teaching job?’ he asks.

I realise he’s not told him about it, his beloved brother. I take a deep breath. ‘No, his friend, Sarah, offered him a place on a conservation team working out of Borneo.’

His face softens with pride, excitement. ‘He didn’t tell me about that. Idiot. God, that’s amazing, it’ll be so good for him.’

‘It will, won’t it?’ I tell him.

‘And it’d be such a relief, too.’

‘Relief?’ I ask him, continuing to walk alongside him.

‘Just… Jack’s been a complete hero to me and the boys. I wouldn’t have survived those early years without him, but I always worried we were holding him back. If he takes this job, it just means he’s living his life finally, you know?’

I know exactly what he means. The words pierce my heart completely because since finding out about that job, all I know is that he’s not told me about it which makes me think he’s turning it down and I think the reason may be me. And as wonderful as that is, there is also something about that which isn’t right.

Dom suddenly reads the emotion in my face and realises he may have said something out of turn. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean that you’re holding him back or that you’re stopping him from living a life. I phrased that wrong. You’ll have to forgive me, I’m renowned for putting my foot in my mouth.’

I smile to put him at ease. ‘Dom, please don’t worry. I think I know what you mean, and I feel the same, completely. He’s quite the person, your brother, and he deserves the world.’

‘Has he taken the job?’ Dom asks.

‘I’m not sure.’

His expression changes and it pains me to see the air of disappointment in his eyes.

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