Page 64 of Cowboy and the Convict

No such luck.

He also hadn’t wanted to burden his daughters, especially this one, with his own misery. She’d carried the weight of knowledge that should never have been hers for too long already. “I told you. She’s been busy with work.”

Riley stared him down as the silence stretched between them. Finally she lifted her chin. “Fine. I guess I’ll just go down to The Baking Rack and ask her myself.” She started to put the kitten down, giving him no choice but to fess up.

“It just didn’t work out, sweetheart.” And he still wasn’t completely sure why. Didn’t know what had sent her racing from his house that night. What revelation pushed her over the edge.

And that in itself was a sign.

“I think she’s looking for something else, and honestly so am I.” He wanted—needed— someone transparent. “I want someone who isn’t going to walk away without telling me why. Not someone who comes at me out of left field with—” He stopped short, pressing his lips together to stop himself from unloading on his teenage daughter.

Riley lifted her brows. “You really have no idea why she didn’t want to be with you anymore?”

“I’m not discussing this with you.” He turned back to the horses, filling Winnie’s bucket with feed before taking it into her stall.

“So your plan is to just stay out here in the barn forever?” Riley barked out a laugh. “Because I’m pretty sure no one out here is going to offer you decent advice.”

“And you are?” He wasn’t trying to be an ass, but his daughter was barely an adult. She had no idea how complicated things could get.

“I’m sure as hell a better option than a horse with no balls and a herd of feral cats.” Riley lifted her chin, staring him down. “Did you ask Janie why she didn’t want to be with you?”

Clenching his jaw, he turned away to get hay.

“You’re kidding, right?” Riley followed him. “You didn’t even ask what upset her?”

“I shouldn’t have to beg for someone to tell me how they’re feeling.” There was bitterness in his words. Bitterness in his soul. “And I shouldn’t be blamed when they don’t.”

Riley’s expression softened. “I’m not blaming you, but you can’t expect Janie to spew her feelings at you twenty-four hours a day so you don’t have to put any effort into understanding how she feels.”

“I put in effort. I probably understood her better than anyone.” He fought to keep his tone from sharpening. “But I’m not going to try to make someone be with me. I’ve been with a woman who didn’t want me once. If she doesn’t want me, then that’s fine.”

“Do you really think that?” Riley’s voice was soft. “That she doesn’t want you?” She tipped her head. “And do you really think Janie would walk away from all of us without saying goodbye to Olivia, Gwen, and me?”

“No.” He straightened. “But as we both know I’ve been wrong about things like this before.”

He took a deep breath. This conversation needed to end. Shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Riley was a kid. She didn’t need to deal with his shit.

“It is what it is, Ri. One minute she was all smiles and then she walked out before the fucking quiche was even out of the oven.” He knew this would be rough on his daughters. That’s part of the reason he’d avoided telling them the full truth. “And honestly, we don’t need someone who can do that in our lives.”

Riley’s lips pursed, moving from side to side, a sad expression on her face. “But I liked having her in our lives.” She blinked a few times. “Without her I never would have quit college.” She huffed out a little laugh. “I would still be crying over math every night.” Her next breath was shaky. “I didn’t even get to tell her I enrolled in cosmetology school.” The line of her lips lifted into a small smile. “At least I was able to thank her for being the one who made me realize I didn’t want to get a stupid accounting degree.”

That made him pause. “You told Janie you dropped out of school?”

Riley nodded. “That night you said she had an emergency at…” Her shoulders slumped. “That was a lie, wasn’t it? That was the night she walked out.”

He ignored her question, stepping closer. “That’s the same night you told her you dropped out?”

“Yeah.” Riley’s brow creased. “Why?”

A combination of dread and hope swirled in his gut. “And you told her she was the reason you did it?”

Riley nodded. “She was. Janie didn’t stay where she was miserable just because she was worried what other people would think and it made me see that’s all I was doing. Forcing myself to do something I hated because I didn’t want someone else to think I was a quitter.”

Devon wiped one hand over his face, lifting his eyes to the rafters. “I’m a fucking asshole.”

He’d been so blinded by his own hangups and fears. So wrapped up in what he wanted and his own past pain. Instead of doing what Riley was doing now—trying to figure out what went wrong—he got in his own way. Let old wounds infect new flesh.

“I didn’t trust myself to know what was real and what wasn’t.” He’d been wrong before and it only made sense that he’d be wrong again.

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