Page 99 of Peace Under Fire

“I haven’t,” she blurted out and bolted upright. “I want this. I do. I just need…time.”

She looked so damn anxious. Heartbreakingly nervous. His chest tightened beneath a wave of uncertainty. He didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t sure she wanted—and while her words claimed she wanted him, her face said otherwise. He transferred his attention to the little brown and white birds fluttering around the creek bed and tried to get control of his voice.

She wanted more time? Okay. He could give her more time. But he needed to know one thing now. Was she even attracted to him? Up until four days ago, the question hadn’t even occurred to him. But Christ, she fled whenever he tried to get close. He hadn’t even had a chance to kiss her yet.

Was that the problem? That she wasn’t physically attracted to him anymore? Maybe his behavior toward her earlier had killed those previous feelings and she didn’t know how to tell him.

If that was the case here, he’d rather yank that bandage off right now regardless of how much it stung.

“Okay.” He shifted until he was facing her and took her hands in his. They were cold and still, sitting there limply, like prisoners inside the cage of his much larger fingers. “We’re going to try an experiment.”

Her head lifted and nerves touched her eyes. “We are?”

“We are. I’m going to kiss you.”

“Oh no, I don’t think—”

“Don’t think.” He transferred his palms to her cheeks and held her head steady. “That’s the point. Don’t think—feel.

He felt her skin heating beneath his hands as he tilted her face up. Her forehead wrinkled in anxiety, and alarm burnished the brown eyes staring back at him to pure gold.

Christ, she was beautiful. So beautiful she took his breath away. Without giving her a chance to protest, he bent his head and took her lips. She just sat there, frozen, her lips still beneath his. He pulled back and then brushed his mouth over hers, again and again. Nothing. No spark. No life. Just pure emptiness. He stroked her with his tongue, silently encouraging her to open her mouth.

Nothing.

All her warmth, all her passion was just…gone.

His chest an open festering wound, he pulled away, dropping his hands. Well, he had his answer. Not the one he’d hoped for, but an answer nonetheless. She wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest.

“Jacob?” There was a catch to his name.

He rose to his feet and stared down at his hands. They were shaking. Why the hell did this feel like the end of the world? His world. She was just a woman. A woman he wanted, who didn’t want him. He’d get over it. There were plenty of other women out there who found him attractive—who didn’t give a shit that his eyes were brown, not blue—even though he couldn’t have named one of them right now. This was not the end of the world. Ot probably served him right considering how he’d treated her over the past year.

“Jacob?” Her voice was hoarse, but loud enough to catch his attention. She looked kind of hysterical, like she was about to break into tears. It was that kind streak of hers. No doubt it broke her heart knowing he’d realized the truth—she didn’t want him after all.

He glanced over the blanket, his gaze falling on the sandwiches and cake cartons. They looked pathetic, a reminder of his folly.

“Might as well pack it up and head back.” He reached down to grab his backpack.

“Look, this isn’t what—”

The frantic tone in her voice registered. He shouldn’t be taking his disappointment out on her. A dark voice inside him pointed out that it was far more than regret he was feeling. Not that it mattered. This wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t help her feelings.

“It’s okay.” He tried to offer her reassurance, even though his hoarse voice probably negated his attempt to soothe her. “You don’t feel any chemistry for me. I get it. Happens sometimes. There’s—”

“No!”

The horror in her voice stopped him in his tracks.

“That was not what was going on. I am attracted to you. I’ve always been attracted to you.”

Right.

He sighed and scrubbed numb hands down his face. “A woman doesn’t kiss a man like that unless she has no interest in him at all.” Not that she’d kissed him. She’d just sat there…still and empty. He dropped his hands and took a deep breath. “Look. I knew something was wrong. I’m glad it’s out in the open. We can move on now.”

“No!” She wrung her hands and looked…mortified.

Mortified? What did she have to feel ashamed about? She’d done nothing wrong.

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