Page 1 of A Little Light

Chapter 1

“Tell me…how did it go?

Andi lowered her hot chocolate to the wooden table, frowning as she watched the marshmallows melt beneath the liquid. How had it gone? She couldn’t quite say. “Okay, I suppose.”

Sally watched Andi over the rim of her own cup, her eyes slightly narrowed. “I know it can’t have been okay. I also know you like to pretend everything is fine when it’s not.”

“Sally, I am fine. I have been for several months now.” Andi wasn’t fine. She was lonely, and she didn’t know how to get out of the headspace she was in. She dragged a hand through her black hair, exhaling a slow breath through her nose. “How about you? What’s been happening?”

“Other than my best friend avoiding me, not a lot.”

Andi rolled her eyes at that. Sally always assumed it was avoidance when Andi didn’t pick up the phone or when she declined a night out. It wasn’t avoidance, though. It was Andi wanting space from the constant conversation she found herself in.

“Andi?”

Andi snapped out of her thoughts. “Mm?”

“How did it go? Really. How did it go?”

“I’ve only moved house. Something I’ve done many times over the years.” Andi wasn’t a stranger when it came to house moves. Not only had she travelled around the country in her fifty years on this earth, but she was an estate agent, too. She watched people moving all the time.

“That may be true, but you’ve never done it alone. At least, not in over twenty years.”

No. She hadn’t.

“And I don’t want to get into something that’s going to upset you, but I do want to know that you’re okay there. The place is beautiful, but it’s not the same, is it?”

“It’ll all be okay. It’s going to take some getting used to, but I have spent the last fifteen months alone. It’s not as though I’m suddenly on my own.”

Andi saw the frustration in Sally’s eyes, but Andi didn’t want to dwell on the past this evening. She wanted to enjoy herself with Sally; she couldn’t deal with the life she had sat in boxes at home.

Home.

It wasn’t quite home yet, but it would be. And if Andi had things her way, she would settle and never consider moving again. She was fifty; it was time to put down roots once and for all.

You had roots. You had it all.

Andi had the perfect life with the perfect woman. She’d had sensational Christmases, incredible holidays abroad, and she’d never imagined for one moment that it could all end. Only it had. Fifteen months ago.

“I know you had this conversation before the time came. Jane wanted you to move on and be happy.”

Andi stared through the crowd at the Christmas market, her eyes burning.

“Babe?”

“It’s hard to find that happiness,” Andi said as she turned to Sally. “I know what she wanted, but it’s not as easy as just moving on. I spent twenty-two years with her. I can’t just erase that and pretend I’m looking for a future wife…or anything close to that. Quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be in a relationship again.”

“And nobody is asking you to, certainly not soon, but you can still…have fun.”

“Have fun?” Andi lifted a brow, her stomach churning at the thought of what Sally could possibly be insinuating. “You think I’m in any position to have fun?”

Sally placed a hand on Andi’s wrist, smiling. “All I’m saying is, don’t dismiss the idea completely. You never know who could come into your life. Let’s not forget that you shot down Jane all those years ago.”

Andi wore a sad smile. Jane had pursued her for months on end, to no avail. They had a twenty-year age gap between them, and Andi point blank refused to go on a date with her. But Jane had wooed Andi without even really trying. She just had a subtle confidence that had stolen Andi’s heart as those months passed. But it was the moment they’d kissed that put a stop to the chasing. Andi knew she wanted to be with Jane…and what a beautiful life they’d had together. Andi had known that their marriage wouldn’t last forever, Jane was seventy when she passed away, but she wouldn’t change her decision to commit herself to Jane. Not in a million years.

“I did.” Andi grinned this time, reminded of the back and forth they’d gone through. They’d shamelessly flirted at any opportunity. A date hadn’t happened immediately, but still, it had all been a part of the thrill and excitement. “I remember those days very well.”

“They were good days. I’ll never forget the day you called me to say you’d finally slept with her and that your life would never be the same again.”

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