Page 73 of Study You

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that,” Jan said, reaching for her cup of hot chocolate. “It is because of Finn, right?”

“Jan, I sent her dirty pictures earlier.” Gillian covered her face with her hand, knowing she was blushing. “I don’t know what the hell I think I’m doing, but I sent fucking dirty pictures to my student!”

“First of all, good for you. I bet Finn thought she’d won the lottery. And secondly, maybe you should try calling her your girlfriend rather than your student. It may make things seem a little easier.”

Finn wasn’t her girlfriend, though. They hadn’t discussed it. Sure, they’d discussed doing whatever it was they were doing in secret, but there had been no talk of being exclusive. “We haven’t had that conversation.”

Jan lifted a shoulder. “Maybe you should.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon for that?” Gillian wrinkled her nose. While she wanted to go full steam ahead into this with Finn, she had to remember that she wasn’t the only one in this relationship. “I’d love to, but I always come back to what Dave used to say.” The moment Gillian mentioned Dave, Jan’s nostrils flared. “I’m sorry, I know you hate talking about him, but he is the reason I feel the way I do sometimes.”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Jan exhaled a breath as she crossed her legs. “I just worry that when you mention him, he’s taking up your headspace. You can do without that.”

“Oh, no. He’s not. The only person taking up headspace is Finn. And what a wonderful headspace it is to be in.”

Jan grinned. “Yeah?”

“Jan, I can’t describe it. I had some kind of realisation the other night when Finn turned up at my door with flowers and wine. And I know it’s probably not much, you’re used to Phil coming home with diamonds for you, but it just meant so much. Something so simple, you know?”

“I’d rather have the flowers than the diamonds. Phil thinks with his bank account, he always has. And while I love him to death, sometimes I wish he came home with something simple. Simplicity is often far more beautiful.”

“You’re right. But it’s just Finn’s entire personality that I’m a little bit in love with. I know what people probably think when it comes to first impressions. She’s covered basically head to toe in tattoos, and she carries herself a particular way, but she’s so soft and gentle when I want her to be.”

“When you want her to be?” Jan quirked a brow.

“Look, we all know this started with wild hot sex. Let’s not pretend it didn’t. But as I got to know Finn, when we weren’t in those situations, I saw such a beautiful side to her. I know this is going to be difficult, but I’m finally taking your advice and living my life. I can’t imagine waking up one day and regretting the moment I let her go. I really can’t. I’d kick myself forever.”

“You’re right, it will be difficult, but you can be professional…and Finn is not the type of person to do anything to jeopardise your career. No way.”

Gillian smiled as there was a knock at the door. “You’re right. She’s not.” As she got to her feet and approached the door, she said, “Now, can we all just have a normal chat and pretend that everything is okay?”

“Absolutely.”

Gillian opened the door, grinning when Finn stood in the hallway wearing a shy smile. She stepped closer and kissed Finn. “You can wipe that smile off your face. There’s nothing shy about you, Finn Ashton.”

Finn shrugged as she followed Gillian inside. “That’s fair.”

Gillian moved into the kitchen, turning to face Finn and Jan. “Anyone for a drink?”

Finn smiled. “Sure. I’ll have whatever it is you two are drinking.”

“Baileys hot chocolate.” Gillian held up a bottle of Baileys. “It was left over from Christmas. We decided to put it to good use.”

Finn held up her hands. “Anything to help with waste. I’d love one.”

Gillian watched on with a smile as Finn took a seat on the couch and started chatting to Jan. This was something she could definitely get used to. Her best friend and her…lover catching up and getting along like a house on fire. Finn just seemed so at ease around here. As though she was meant to be in this apartment. She fit within it.

“Hey, babe?”

Gillian’s heart fluttered as she spun around. “Yeah?”

“Did you decide on any colour schemes yet?”

“I have one or two things in mind. I thought I’d show them to you later. See what you think.” Gillian wanted Finn’s opinion. It didn’t matter if it was going to be Gillian’s new home; she wanted Finn’s input. Who knew where they’d be down the line. “And I wanted to ask when I could start ordering furniture?”

“To be honest, you could probably start ordering it now, depending on delivery times. The living room is my priority. And since the walls don’t need a complete re-plaster and only a skim, that’s knocked some time off. Significantly, actually.”

“Oh, really?” Gillian added a shot of Baileys to Finn’s hot chocolate and stirred. Once she’d added whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles, she carried it through and placed it down beside her own. “Well, that’s quite handy.”

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