Page 37 of Study You

She just wished she could repay Gillian in some way.

Would dinner be out of the question? Perhaps a bunch of flowers? Finn didn’t know what she was and wasn’t entitled to when it came to that woman. Maybe she wasn’t entitled to a damn thing, though. That would likely be the outcome of this. No, Finn knew it would be the outcome.

Her phone started to ring in her jeans pocket. It would probably be Gillian. As she removed it, that name on her screen had her heart leaping in her chest. But only slightly. Slightly was okay, right? “Hey, Gillian.”

“I’m so sorry I’m running late. Did you get into the house okay?”

“Yeah, fine. I’m here now. Did you want me to just do what I need to do and then text you an idea of what price you’re looking at?”

Gillian cleared her throat. “No, I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’m stuck in traffic.”

“Okay, well, drive safe.”

“I-I will. Bye, Finn.” Gillian ended the call suddenly, but Finn only shrugged her shoulders. She was probably stressed or something. Or maybe Gillian was having second thoughts about all of this again.

Whatever the issue, Finn would wait for Gillian to arrive…and take it from there.

* * *

Drive safe.

Gillian stared at the now empty dashboard, where her call had once been connected to Finn. Drive safe. Nobody had told her to drive safe in the past. Friends, of course. But the person she was fucking? Never. Finn may not have noticed her tone as she’d said it, but Gillian had. It had been genuine. Caring. It had tugged on her heart ever so slightly. What heart Gillian had left inside of her, anyway.

You’re treading a very fine line here.

The car behind her beeped when she sat at a green light, her mind not quite in the right place now. Finn had thrown her with that small comment, and as Gillian drove away from the traffic lights, she knew she had to get her head together. Any other frame of mind around Finn was dangerous. For them both. This morning still played on repeat in her head, and every time she thought about seeing Finn…her belly fluttered.

Her phone started to ring on the dashboard, only this time it was Jan. She answered quickly, knowing she didn’t have much time before she arrived at the house. “Hi, Jan.”

“Hi, babe. How’s your weekend going? I thought maybe you and I could catch up over a glass…or bottle of wine.”

Gillian knew that would be the perfect night. She had considered inviting Finn over, they couldn’t keep away from one another, but it would be wise to see Jan instead. “I’d like that. I just have to be at the house for a while, and then I’ll sort out a time with you.”

“You’re meeting contractors? God, I’m so excited for you!”

Gillian cleared her throat. “I’m meeting Finn there. Who knew she was an electrician? And a joiner.” Gillian had known that information for over a week now, but she had chosen not to tell Jan before today. Now that she had told her, she was prepared for whatever comments came with it.

“Oh, how convenient.” Jan laughed. “Christened the place yet?”

And there it was!

“No. Don’t be ridiculous.” Jan had no idea how intense things had been over the last week or so between Gillian and Finn. Perhaps now was the time to come clean. Fully. “Something is definitely going on between us now, though. It’s not the one-off…ish fling that I thought it would be back when my divorce went through.”

“Mmhmm. I knew that wouldn’t last very long. I could tell by your voice when you called that morning.”

“You knew what wouldn’t last long?” Gillian frowned as she turned onto her new road.

“That whole ‘she’s my student’ stuff.”

“Well, she is. That hasn’t changed. We’ve spoken about it, and I’m pretty confident we can keep things to a minimum on campus and no-strings off campus.” Gillian really had to stop telling lies. To herself and her friends. There was nothing ‘no strings’ about how she was feeling this afternoon. It also wasn’t entirely because Finn was her student. Gillian found it far easier to use that excuse than offer the whole truth. The brutal truth. Nobody needed to know that she didn’t believe she was capable of being loved.

“Well, good for you. So, she’s doing the work on your new place, then?”

“I guess so.”

“Gill?” Jan’s tone changed. “You know I love and support you no matter what, but have you thought about what you’ll do if things become a little more serious between you and Finn? You were so adamant that your career came first, but have you thought about the…implications, shall we say?”

Gillian pulled up further down the road and rested her head back. She closed her eyes, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. “No.”

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