“Good,” I say, turning to face Nash. “I have a new TA. I thought it was going to be difficult. But it’s working out well. She’s very competent, helping me prepare for the start of school.”
“That’s good.” He walks over and grabs the bottles of water, holding one out to me. I take it. “Is that an assistant?”
“Teaching Assistant, yes. She is a graduate student studying for a PhD. It’s good experience for her. She is very motivated. I appreciate that.”
Nash takes a seat and pats the chair next to him. “We need to get something out of the way before we go any further.”
He doesn’t lean back, but grips his water bottle between his knees. His eyes are on me. Butterflies sit up and take note in my treacherous stomach. I’d reasoned with myself the entire way here. Anything other than these lessons is not an option. Now I’m waiting with bated breath.
“So, I’m just gonna say it, because we need to clear the air.”
I look at him expectantly as he runs a hand over his hair.
“I kissed you when I said I wouldn’t.”
“You did.”
“You won’t make this easy, will you?”
I arch a brow.
“Right,” he laughs. “I’m attracted to you. That much is obvious. And I know you’re attracted to me. After you know the whole, you want to have sex with me conversation.”
Maybe I blush a little at that part, but I remain still.
“I don’t want you to think I kissed you to make Riley jealous. I’m still struggling a little, I guess. Our relationship was long, and it’s hard letting go.”
“Perfectly understandable. And it’s fine.” I let him off the hook. “If It had bothered me, I wouldn’t be here. I like you, Nash, and not for the sex thing, or the kisses. You’re a good man.”
“You hardly know me.”
“I’m excellent at reading people.”
“I don’t doubt that. So, the whole kissing thing is not a problem?”
“Not for me.”
“Okay,” he blows out a breath. “Good. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.”
“You’re very sweet.”
“Yeah, that’s me, sweet.”
I cock my head, not sure why he is being so disparaging. Then it clicks. Does he think he is too sweet for Riley? Or that she wanted something a sweet man couldn’t give her. The thought makes me angry.
“Don’t hold yourself up to anyone else’s expectations, Nash.”
“What do you mean?” He frowns, looking put out by my comment.
“I mean, be the man you want to be. If anyone doesn’t like it, what do you care?” I shrug. “People find me unusual. Life is short, so I make my happiness a priority. I love the people in my life who love me back. Not the ones who want to break me down, belittle me or make me feel less than I’m worth.”
“Words to live by,” he says. “Also, hard to put into practice.”
“Until you accept who you are, you won’t let other people’s actions or comments go over your head. I wouldn’t usually say this.”
“Is that so?” His eyes twinkle as he looks at me.
“I think we spend too much of our lives accepting things that are bad for us. Because it’s familiar. No one wants to step out of their comfort zone. I mean, it was probably hard for Riley to do what she did. Instead of communicating, she took the coward’s way out. Sometimes, that is the only way people can justify their actions. They convince themselves they’re doing what’s right. She believed she was doing you a favour.”