Page 36 of The Lost Guard's Healer

Afoggy haze fills my mind as I drift out of sleep and I find myself entangled with Rourk. My thigh is pressed between his legs and his arm is wrapped around me, his face almost touching mine. I’m still mostly asleep, but I’m aware of him gently moving against me. He is also stirring awake, I think. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet.

Rourk groans softly and pushes my head closer to him. I feel my core dampen as he groans and sleepily moves a hand over my body, lifting my blouse and running his hands along my skin. His touch is nothing more than a gentle caress, but I feel it everywhere. I want it everywhere. I writhe against him and quietly moan with pleasure when one of his hands drifts between my legs and brushes softly over the fabric that shields me from being bare to his touch. I feel like this is a dream, or we’re somewhere caught between sleep and a dream. A place only for us.

Our lips touch, and a wave of heat washes over me, igniting a passionate and tender kiss. I breathe him in and taste his salty, sweaty goodness. He holds my face in his hand and kisses me firmly. I can feel his control slipping and know that I’m not far behind him. My hand shifts down to feel his cock swelling against me. Knowing what I do to him is almost intoxicating. I rub him hard over his pants and gasp when he presses even harder against me. “Fuck,” Rourk groans. “Galene.”

My name on his lips brings me back to my senses. My eyes snap open and I jolt upward. I yelp when I crack my head against the low ceiling.

Rourk’s eyes fully open, too, and I watch him fully settle into his body. Like… like he was still asleep before. His hand flies off my breast as if burned.

What the hell were we doing? “Shit,” I mutter. I quickly shuffle out of the crevasse and crawl into the morning light. There is a gray tint around the mountain, telling me it is a little after sunrise.

Rourk crawls out after me, but I don’t turn to look at him. I just run my hands frantically through my hair as I pace the rock.

“Morning,” Rourk says, and I turn sharply to face him to see him squinting against the low light. The mountain is very quiet in the early morning.

“I didn’t…” I begin, flustered. “I wasn’t… We weren’t…” We weren’t about to fuck each other’s hands. What would that be like? The taste of him is still in my mouth.

But Rourk gives me a confused look. “I don’t remember anything happening. Do you? I just woke up. Why? Did I miss something?”

Several emotions pass through me before I control myself. He doesn’t… remember anything? I don’t understand the disappointment that settles into me at the revelation. I give him a stiff smile. “No. Nothing happened. I—I just woke up, too.” My eyes flash downward, to the stiffness clearly showing in Rourk’s pants, but I quickly look away, chewing on the inside of my cheek as the sight reignites the fire inside my belly.

I’m such a fucking idiot.

“Can we return now?” I ask, deciding the best route to take right now is to change the subject entirely and pretend that nothing—not a single thing—happened.

“We can,” Rourk says. He picks up the pack of supplies and pulls out two water skins, handing me one. He finds a chunk of bread and offers me some, but I shake my head. I can’t even imagine eating right now. Rourk chews on the bread as we make our way down the mountain.

Rourk tries to make some small talk to avoid the awkward silence that has settled between us, asking how I slept and how I feel today, but I can only give brief responses back. Every time our gazes clash, I remember the feel of his skin against mine. His hands were just a layer of fabric away from where I wanted him the most.

Until he said my name, and I remembered who I am. Who he is. Where he comes from.

Once we’re finally out of the foothills of the mountain, we make our way through the rocky landscape and into the surrounding hills and valleys. The atmosphere feels heavy with energy, like something has changed. A part of me wonders if I’ve been feeling this change for some time, but have only been noticing it more as each day passes. It’s a hard thing to pinpoint.

My thoughts shift to what had happened between me and Rourk. I don’t understand why I can’t bring myself to regret it quite as much as I should. He’s an Oathlander. I shouldn’t even want to be alone with him, much less let him kiss me—and much, much more.

Rourk stops us when he sees a rabbit darting through the tall grass. It takes him three tries to finally convince me to hand over my knife. And it only takes a quick flick of his wrist to throw the blade into the rabbit. It dies before it can even process what just happened.

“So they can’t tell us we’ve returned empty-handed,” Rourk explains, picking up the limp rabbit.

The sun clears the mountain and bathes us in its warm glow. The air feels heavy and charged with energy from the lingering remains of the storm. Our boots squelch in the soft wet earth. The awkwardness has cleared with the rising sun and the time spent walking behind us. Besides, I have Rourk to myself right now. I might as well use it to my advantage and try to get to know him a little better.

“Are you really just a soldier?” I ask as we walk.

“I’ve been in the military for over twenty years.”

I nod, unable to help the small smile that curls at my lips. “I forget that you’re an old man.”

“Hey,” Rourk says, his features sharp with the sting of my words.

But I just laugh. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever laughed in front of him. “Well, I may be twenty and five, but I’ve always felt older than I am.”

“You have an old soul,” he agrees. “Only twelve years between us.”

“I suppose you’re not that old,” I say. Then, still smiling, I cup a hand to the side of my mouth and yell, “I said, I suppose you’re not that old.”

Rourk blinks at me with wide eyes before a bark of laughter escapes him. I can’t help but laugh again, too. I don’t think I’ve seen Rourk so… at ease before, and I have to admit that it sets something free in me as well. A chain reaction. Something that connects us.

Rourk wags a finger at me. “I see how you are.”

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