Page 29 of The Long Walk Back

‘To start with,’ he countered, waggling his eyebrows comically. She put the sandwich to his lips, and he ripped off a chunk with his teeth, making her laugh. His eyes rolled back. ‘Man, Rita makes a mean sandwich,’ he said, moaning with pleasure. Kate nodded in agreement, taking a large bite herself.

Finishing off the food, Kate feeding him morsels till they were both full. She sighed with contentment, happy to sit with him, feeling the calm from his touch wash over her.

‘Where did you go?’ Cooper asked, his green eyes boring right into hers.

‘I was thinking how nice the silence was, how comfortable we are with each other.’

‘It must have been hard, packing up the house. I’ve always sort of moved around. Packed light.’

‘It’s just stuff,’ she shrugged. ‘To be honest, that house hadn’t been a home for me in a long time. I’ve got some great memories, but they’re mostly of Jamie.’

‘You’ll make new ones. There’s plenty of time.’ He took one of his hands away, and he patted his lap. ‘Come sit with me.’

She didn’t hesitate and walked around the table to him. He pulled her onto him, lifting her legs up to dangle over one side of the chair. ‘Best seat in the house,’ he quipped, his mouth inches from her own. She could smell his aftershave, and something else, something inherently sweet. She was about to ask him what the scent was when he placed both hands on her cheeks and pulled her to him. His kiss was urgent but restrained, as though he had been waiting all day to do it, and she responded eagerly. She grabbed his cheeks and pulled him closer, a muffled moan escaping from her mouth into his. He groaned in response, wrapping his arms around her tightly, caressing her body with his strong hands. They kissed forever, lost in each other, till he finally pulled away. She opened her eyes, and looking into his, she saw the lust and need she felt mirrored on his face.

‘I have to stop this Kate, otherwise I won’t be responsible for my actions.’ He dropped another slow kiss onto her mouth, licking her lip playfully. ‘You drive me crazy, woman. I don’t want to stuff anything up for you here.’

She put her hands around his neck, running her fingers through the dark curls that sat there.

‘You’re not so bad yourself, soldier. You’re right though. I’m only your physio, but I think we should cool things till you’re not my patient any more.’

He groaned again as she ran a fingernail down his neck. ‘That’s not helping. I mean it, Missy. It’s been a while, and talking dirty while you run your hands all over me is not going to cool me off.’

‘Maybe I don’t want to cool you off,’ she said brazenly. His eyebrows raised in surprise at her words, and his eyes searched her face. ‘Why do you do that?’ she asked, transfixed.

‘What?’ he whispered.

‘Look at me like that,’ she said, suddenly shy under his deep gaze.

He dropped another kiss onto her lips, before placing one on each cheek, the tip of her nose, and her fluttering eyelids. ‘I look at you like this because I’m trying to work you out. You’re like a puzzle I can’t crack, and I don’t fail to crack things. I look at you because I am suddenly scared for the first time in my life, and I don’t like the feeling.’

She tightened her grip on his neck, pulling herself closer still to him.

‘What are you scared of?’

He looked sad for a moment, and her heart went out to him. She could hear it hammering against her ribs, as though it were a bird trying to escape its cage to find its mate.

‘I never wanted anything in my life, not like this. The army is my family, my home, and I never wanted for anything, never looked back. The fact is Kate, the more I know of you, the more I want, and I don’t know what to do about that. I feel as if I know you, and we met in a fucked-up way. In a fucked-up place. I know all that, but I still can’t stay away from you. It’s like we’re the same, you know. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to tell this whole damn place how much I like you. I don’t know what’s going on with your life at the moment, but I know you need your career. You love it like I did mine, and I don’t want to be the thing that makes your life worse. I have a lot to overcome, and you have Jamie. I just want to be sure you know what you’re getting into. I have no clue either, but I know I want it.’

Kate agreed with everything he was saying, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. ‘I know. It’s a lot, but I can’t stay away from you either. When the house is sold, I’m going to look for a bungalow. Move out of the centre. I want you too, Cooper, but Jamie gets a say too. I need to put him first, and we can’t start anything deeper till you aren’t a patient.’

‘So we wait,’ he said with a kiss to each cheek. ‘Till we get our ducks in a row.’

She moaned even as she nodded her agreement, touching her forehead to his in frustration. ‘Trust me to get the squaddie with morals. I thought you guys were all grab the girl and hang the consequences.’ She was only half joking.

He chuckled, a low rumble that vibrated through her. ‘Not forever, just till things are sorted, till Jamie knows about everything.’

Kate winced at the mention of her son. He had already been through so much; she had no idea how and what to tell him about today.

‘And what about Jamie?’ she asked him, deflecting her own thoughts for the moment. ‘Me having a kid doesn’t bother you?’

He shrugged. ‘He’s a lovely kid, we get on. As long as he’s okay with me dating his mother, I am more than happy. He has a father, I’m not out to step on anyone’s toes. I just want to see where this goes.’

He has a father. If only he bothered to come see him, she thought to herself bitterly. ‘I don’t see there being a problem, but we’ll have to take it slow with him. He’s lost so much already.’

Cooper nodded. ‘This is what I’m saying; the last thing I want is to make things complicated for you two, especially when you’re getting on so well. You were really close, weren’t you.’ He said it like a statement of fact, and Kate smiled at him. He didn’t miss a trick. When, and if, Neil did want to come visit, that would present another obstacle to navigate. She knew he was hurt, blaming himself and her for the accident, but that didn’t help Jamie. He seemed to be okay with just speaking with his dad on the phone, but for how long? They all had demons to face, it seemed.

Later that night, Cooper sat on the bathroom floor, mirror placed at the side of his leg. He was slick with sweat, having woken from a dream that he was in the battlefield, running for his life. The pains in his missing limb had woken him up, and it was the first time he was thankful for the pain. The look on Smithy’s face as he lay in the dirt haunted him even when he was awake, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to pull off the gala dinner. The thought of it made him want to throw up, and it was only knowing that Kate would be at his side that kept him from cancelling his attendance. One thing was for certain; he wouldn’t be going there in his chair, not if he could help it. He wanted to walk in there tall, with her on his arm, not pushing his chair. He owed it to himself and his unit to walk in there showing everyone that although the bastards had taken one of their own, the men remaining were as strong as ever.

---