Page 86 of Revenge Cake

It’s not even hard to say it back.

“I love you too.”

***

Logan

When she starts to close her big brown eyes, I grab her shoulder and give it a squeeze. “Oh no. You can take your orgasm nap later. We’re talking now.”

Her eyes pop open. When they settle on my face, that vulnerable look returns.

It makes me want to hold her tight, but I won’t let it sway me from my purpose.

I only agreed to this for one reason. “What do you want?” I ask, my tone final. “We’ll strike a compromise.”

She lifts her thumb to her mouth and nibbles at the tip of her nail. “Why don’t we start with what you want.”

“Do you want me to be honest or make up something that won’t scare the shit out of you?”

After a moment’s hesitation, she says, “Be honest.”

“I want everything. Everything we had before. I want to move to Bloomington with you. I want to live together. In a one-bedroom apartment. With one bed. I want to marry you someday.”

She winces before covering her eyes with her hands.

It irritates me. “And I want you to stop your bullshit.”

She removes her hands, narrowing her eyes. “What exactly is my bullshit?”

I sigh. “You know, it took me a while, but I think I finally know what it is. Do you remember that day on the beach when you were telling me all those stories about panic disorder?”

Her eyes grow alert. “Yes,” she says, her voice tight. “Vividly.”

It sounds like it was significant to her too.

“Remember how you were like, ‘I was the weird kid obsessed with death?’”

A confused frown forms on her brow.

“I was super pissed off at you that day, and it took me a while to figure out why. I realized it was because you were trying to scare me off.”

“I guess I was,” she says, averting her eyes from mine.

“And I think, deep down, I was scared of what it meant. I was scared you thought you were too weird and dark for me… Like, maybe you thought I was too boring and vanilla for you.”

Her eyes fill will horror. “Logan, you are not boring. None of those horrible things I said were even remotely—”

“I know. I figured that out too. You were guarding yourself. Closing yourself off to me. That’s what you do.”

The shame in her eyes makes my heart clench, but I can’t let her off the hook just yet. “You can’t do it anymore, Lani. It has to stop.”

She covers both eyes with the back of her arm.

“You cannot do it anymore.” My tone is even harder this time. “With me or whoever. Or you’ll be alone forever—”

“You think I don’t know all of this?” Her shout makes me flinch. It’s only when I see her quivering lips that I realize that she covered her eyes to hide her tears.

It makes me hate myself. I gather her close. Thankfully, she lets me. “Oh, Lani. I’m sorry.”

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