Page 48 of Revenge Cake

Though she agrees, she’s noticeably annoyed. She asks Dean to join the others inside, telling him she’ll only be out here a few more minutes. She softens her dismissal by thanking him for coming out with her, emphasizing her words by gripping his forearm and giving it a squeeze.

I look away, certain that if I witness even one more sign of their obvious intimacy and affection for each other I’ll be compelled to do something truly stupid. Like finally giving Dean the punch in the face he’s been begging for since I met him eleven months ago.

When Dean is gone, I walk up to Lani, stopping within inches of her chest so that I have to tilt my chin down to look into her eyes. When her unblinking gaze meets mine, her face is as placid as a porcelain doll’s, without a trace of guilt for having spent the last five minutes flirting with Dean and trash-talking our relationship.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks. When I don’t answer, she narrows her eyes. “You’re angry because I was talking to Dean?” She emphasizes the last few words disdainfully. As if they were really only talking. As if Dean wasn’t just about to say, “Let’s fuck,” right before I interrupted him.

“No,” I say, trying to keep my voice cool. “I’m just an asshole, and I want to make you feel insecure.”

Her eyes grow wide. “You were listening to our conversation?” Her eyes dart to the entrance of the bar and back again. “How long have you been out here?”

She finally looks a little guilty, thank fuck, but it does nothing to cool my temper.

“For like two minutes!” I shout. “It’s not like I was hiding. I was standing right there”—I gesture to the side—“but you guys didn’t even notice. I didn’t want to interrupt your cute little heart to heart, but it was hard to just stand by and let him shit-talk our whole relationship.” I shake my head. “And you didn’t even stop him. How could you let him say all those things after everything? How could you use him to make me jealous after everything?”

Since she shuts her eyes and lifts a hand to her brow, I’m unable to see if she’s contrite or not. I look away for a moment to fight the urge to start shouting at her again.

When I finally look back at her, her hand is lowered and I can fully see her face. Relief rushes through me. The invisible wall has lowered. I can feel it in the air between us.

“I’m sorry. I can be so petty sometimes. Such a child…” Her voice is just above a whisper. She shakes her head, as if to clear it. “But can’t you at least sympathize with the desire to show off how great you’re doing to your ex?”

The relief is short-lived.

My brows shoot to my forehead. “I am not your ex! I asked for one month away from you, and you agreed to it. Then you use Dean to make me jealous… To break my rules and come out with you tonight…” I trail off to get control of my emotions. I take a deep, shaky breath as I run a hand through my hair.

“Logan,” she says calmly. “You did this. You texted me, showed up at my house, and came out to the bars uninvited. You can’t blame me that you’re here. Yes, I tried to make you jealous, but I didn’t make you do all of this.”

I sigh heavily, weary of this conversation and even more so of her repetition of clichés she learned in therapy. “Let’s just go. Let’s just mutually agree to stop being childish. I didn’t even want to go out tonight, and Armaan is annoyed with me for making him come. Let me take you home.”

“No.”

My stomach flips over in surprise. “No?”

“No. I came out because I needed a distraction, and I was having fun before you showed up. I think just you should leave.”

I exhale. “Okay…”

“I think Keira’s annoyed with you too. For coming here, I mean.”

Something about the way she says Keira’s name makes me uneasy, but I don’t have time to figure out why when she starts talking again.

“We can agree to stop being childish, but I won’t change my plans tonight just because you want me to. It was…unkind of me to use Dean to make you jealous, but that doesn’t mean I don’t fully enjoy having him in Santa Barbara. I know you hate him, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a close friend, and hanging out with friends is good for me right now. This is all part of my recovery, which you asked for by the way. This is all part of me learning to live without you.”

A chill runs down my spine at her word choice. “I never asked you to learn to live without me—”

“Well I’m doing it just the same. So please let me. Go home.” With that, she turns around and walks away.

Lani loves having the last word, and out of expediency, I usually let her have it, but that’s not what’s keeping me from running after her this time.

For the first time since I asked for time apart, I realize that I’m not the only one with a say. Just because she’s the one with the drug problem, and I’m the wronged party, doesn’t mean everything is within my control.

And I’m frozen in fear that I might lose her.

CHAPTER 18

Past—The Shift

Leilani

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