Page 9 of Meet Me in the Stars

Sequin leaned against the wall closet to where Lotus was laid out. His were glazed over as if being present took too much energy that he didn’t have. Grandpa Cromwell sat in a chair near him and reached over to pat his hand every few seconds.

None of us were okay. It didn’t matter how much she wanted us to be okay. None of us were okay that day.

“Are we allowed to go closer?” Teddy asked

“As close as you want,” I nodded.

We crossed the room and stood by her side. Someone had dragged in a slab that looked like an altar. Teddy stroked her hand before taking it in his. He whispered something I couldn’t make out, but that was okay. He wasn’t talking to me. He was trying to mutter out the last words he might ever say to his mother.

The study doors swung open and everyone turned to look. There was Dad all dressed up in his blue wedding robes. Dad and Lotus didn’t have the big wedding their families wanted right away, but eventually they gave in and let them have their party. Now, Dad was decked out in the robes he wore for their wedding ceremony. My inner beast fell over inside his inner sanctum and my knees buckled under me. Something about him in those ceremonial robes striding across the room to stand next to his dead mate was too much.

Teddy went down with me, hugging me close as grief tried to rip out my chest too. We cried together, with Jonah and Syre squatted down trying to soothe us. Nothing could soothe us now. We were too far gone, and I didn’t have a clue how long it would take us to find our way back to normal, if you ever could after something like this.

Grandpa Cromwell shouted for the staff to move one of the sofas near Lotus. Then Jonah and Syre pulled us to our feet so that we could sit down there. Dad sat down on the arm, facing away from us and stroking Lotus’s hair. How had life come to this? How could she be okay at the picnic and dead now? How could she have been okay on the phone last week but dead now? How did a whole fucking person die and disappear? Who the fuck made us and plopped us down in a system so fucking cruel that it could only end in heart break?

Zoey handed me a velvet bag and I almost pushed it away thinking she was trying to feed me. She’d trimmed Lotus’s hair before we came in. She clipped locks for everyone. Teddy shoved his inside his suit pocket and held his fist over the spot where it sat. Then he sobbed again, and it was contagious. How could she be gone? How could she not be here?

The guests who weren’t family or close friends were sent outside early. Everyone whispered their goodbyes to her. I tried hard not to listen in. I couldn’t hold any more turmoil inside me. I stood by Teddy as he said goodbye. I didn’t have any words. She was my fourth parent even if I hadn’t seen her as often as I would’ve liked. How did you say goodbye to someone like that? How had my siblings managed when she was their carrier?

“Thank you, Mama Lotus,” I whispered. “I love you.” They were the only words I had.

Eventually, we all headed for the field except for Dad and Grandpa Cromwell. Clarence had arranged for a team of alphas to carry out the whole slab of stone with her on it but her mate and father wouldn’t hear of a band of strangers carrying her to the funeral pyre. I didn’t blame them. It should be someone she knew and loved.

Chapter Five

Fred Moonscale

Old Man Cromwell and I didn’t get along for years after Lotus and I met. We might have still been quiet enemies if Lotus hadn’t gotten sick. He stroked Lotus’s hair, whispering to her that the journey was almost over. That she could rest soon and that we’d all make sure the kids were okay. Then he turned his back to her and the flowers. I stood by her, looking down into a face that I’d see every night in my dreams for as long as I lived. I smoothed down her hair and kissed her forehead. I reached out impulsively to where once our mating link lived, but it was empty air now. How could a whole person disappear so completely while leaving part of themselves behind?

“I love you, my little flower,” I whispered to her and then asked her father if he were ready for this one last walk with his daughter.

He nodded and I scooped her up in my arms, cradling her to my chest as I had a million times over in our relationship. Her father soothed her hair down one more time and moved her arm to rest against her belly. Our lady couldn’t look less than put together for this final walk. She’d never forgive us if we did that to her.

“Now we’re ready,” he nodded up at me.

He led the way opening doors and guiding my footsteps. I never looked away from her once as I carried her out of our home, through the garden, and into a field where she wanted to build a house for Duke and Syre so that they might visit more often. I choked down a sob. I had to get her on the pyre. I had to light it and then fight every instinct that burnt inside me not to join her.

“I got you,” my father-in-law said. “We’ll have none of that. She’s already gone, sonny. This is just for us. We see her off so we can understand that she’s really gone. It’s just part of how we process. When I go, I don’t want any of this fuss. Have a family dinner and cement me into the family tomb and be done with it. I’ve had enough social events to last me for three lifetimes.”

I nodded as he hobbled ahead of us on his cane clearing away anyone lingering in my path. I couldn’t meet their eyes. I couldn’t look into the faces of those who gathered to say goodbye to Lotus. Maybe it was that word lodged in the back of my throat with that fire ball that still hadn’t come out. The tree line came into view and for a second I thought I’d dash off across the field, carrying her into the woods. They couldn’t have her. I wouldn’t give her up.

“She’s not in there!” my dragon roared into my thoughts.

He’d slept through the reading of the will and most of the ‘I’m sorry’s, but he woke up bright and early this morning to see our mate off. All of his words, harsh or gentle, came out in a roar. It was as if he meant to go feral and drag me along with him. Thing was, I wouldn’t have stopped him. I wouldn’t have fought against it.

Instead of making for the trees, I carried Lotus to the pyre. It was waist high now, but was on a platform to raise once she was ready to be sent off. My fingers clung to her. I couldn’t put her down.

“Freddie,” someone whispered and I glanced down at Lotus as if she might’ve woken up.

Instead, my cousin Feral, stood at my shoulder. I didn’t remember him arriving, but it made sense. I helped him get out of London away from his crazy parents.

“We got you,” he patted my shoulder, gently. “We got you. Let’s get her laid down. We’re almost there. She’s almost there.”

“Almost,” I nodded and glanced down at Lotus’s beautiful face. She could’ve been asleep, but we all knew better.

With Feral’s help, I laid her out on the platform. This one was surrounded with more flowers, but they weren’t decorative. They were there to hide the flammable material underneath. When she was flat on the platform, Feral turned away. He stayed nearby, his arms behind his back as if he were my bodyguard. I didn’t expect a fight, but the thought mattered a lot.

A sob tore out from the crowd, and someone hit their knees. My little Daliah sobbed again. I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t look at any of them and do this.

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