Page 8 of Meet Me in the Stars

She took a deep breath and the urge to put my hand on the small of her back like I did at social events that overwhelmed or annoyed her passed over me. My dragon twisted to his other side in his sleep, and I tried to dislodge that fire ball again.

“Mom, Dad, I know you’re there. Freddie’s parents probably aren’t. They’re assholes. Sorry for the language, but they are. You guys came around, but they never did. Thank you for that. Thank you for coming around to seeing how happy Freddie made me. Thank you for always trying to give me the best you could. Thank you for everything. I love you two so much. Don’t anyone hurry up to meet me in the Other World. I can do this. I can figure it out. You guys watch my babies, all four of them. Don’t let Freddie live on take out if you can help it. Don’t do too much, Dad. Rest. The doctors say you should rest. I’m sorry I went first. It was only a joke I made once. They thought you were done for, and I was scared. So, I told you that you’d outlive me you were so ornery. I’m sorry I’m going first, Daddy.”

For a moment, she sounded like a little girl. I squeezed my eyes shut. My heart would’ve broken for her parents, but it was in too many pieces to shatter any more. Sequin scooted over next to their grandparents and hugged them both. They were such little foxes in their old age.

For a long time, the Lotus on the screen stared at us as if giving us time to memorize her.

“I love you all so much. I could never say enough words to express that. Now, I need a moment with Freddie. You guys go on out. We won’t be long. I love you all. I’ve arranged for you all to receive copies of the video this far in the mail next week. I’m never far away! Teddy, Duke, Sequin, Daliah! I love you all!”

Jonah paused the video, and I nodded my thanks. I expected everyone to stay put and say I could watch that later. Only everyone behind us stood up. Teddy managed to push himself upright in his seat and Duke helped him to his feet.

“Will you be okay?” Teddy asked me.

“Eventually,” I nodded. “I won’t be long.”

Jonah was the last to leave. He handed me the remote silently as he passed by. Any rivalry that ever lived between us was dead now. Just as dead as my little flower. When the door shut behind him, I stared at the paused screen. She was beautiful and for a short time --- too short of time—she was mine.

“Still mine,” my dragon grunted into my thoughts.

I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. I barely had energy to press the play button. Hell, maybe I should save this part of the video for later. The pain was only going to grow after all, but what if she wanted something else for her funeral or something time sensitive? My thumb slid over the play button, but Lotus didn’t move for a long moment.

“If they aren’t gone yet, pause me, Freddie,” she said, a ghost of a smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

When they were gone, she stood up and pulled the camera closer to her.

“You got this,” she whispered. “I know right now you feel like you don’t, but you do. You’re going to be okay. I know you are. I’ll be watching. Nothing can keep us apart forever. I’ll be back as soon as I can, baby. I will. I promise. Nothing will keep me away from you forever. I’ll fight Frost himself to get back to you. Just hold on. Live your life. Be happy as you can. That’s all I want for you and the kids and everyone else. Just be happy again as soon as you can. It breaks something inside me to know how sad all of you are right now. I love you. I love you so much, Freddie. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for ensuring I had fun and got to live even when the doctors were trying to keep me from dying. Thank you for keeping my secret and thank you for just being you, Freddie. Never stop that no matter what your parents say. You’re a good man, Freddie. You’re a good mate and father. You’re a good friend and you’re a better son than they ever deserved. I love you. I’m coming back to you. Take care of all the egg brats. Go visit Duke for a while soon. As soon as the trio and you can manage. See your grandbaby. She’s fucking gorgeous, Freddie. Be happy as soon as you can.”

She wiped tears from her cheeks that I never got the chance to wipe away.

“I love you too,” I whispered.

“I love you so much,” she whispered again and kissed the camera lens.

The screen faded to black with her lips still pressed against the screen. I was wrong when I thought my heart couldn’t shatter more than it had. It shattered again and I patted my pocket looking for the pack of cigarettes I hid from the kids. I smoked inside. They might yell at me later, but it was my Frost-damned house. If I couldn’t have my mate, I’d have every bloody cigarette I wanted.

Chapter Four

Duke

On the day of the funeral, I gave myself the job of keeping Teddy upright. Syre followed me around through the process of getting dressed and while Teddy and I choked down some toast and orange juice. Neither of us had much of an appetite that morning. It almost felt like a betrayal to eat good food while Lotus was dead.

Syre rubbed circles on my back and on Teddy’s back sometimes too when the sobbing came back. The fog of grief settled over us all and we walked around patting and hugging each other as if that’s how we’d make it through. Dad had slept on the balcony the night before. I had plans to go up and help him get dressed, but once again my carrier beat me to it. It was probably for the best. Sequin and Daliah were glued to each other, but neither glanced in Teddy’s direction if they could help it.

“They don’t know how to handle me,” Teddy sniffed in the garden, when the three of us went out for fresh air. “Hell, I don’t know how to handle me right now.”

“You’re doing fine,” Syre said before I could speak.

He lost his bio sire recently enough that I knew this wasn’t easy for him. I patted his back, but Syre shook his head. We’d revisit his pain later when the loss of Lotus wasn’t so fresh and raw. Grief carved itself onto skin, tattooing us with hollow spaces that nothing filled up.

Clarence Moonscale, the leader of the Moonscale Flight, had given special permission for a funeral pyre to be built on the property. Usually, one had to go to a specially assigned location for such things, but there was no way Grandpa Cromwell and his cane would make the walk across that field and no one was going to ask him to.

Hammering pounded into all our brains as we got ready and tried to squeeze all our pieces into suits and dresses. Zoey and Daliah did up Lotus’s makeup and hair. Xander, Zoey, and their girlfriend, whose name I couldn’t remember, arrived before the sun that morning. Zoey’s wails tore through the house over and over. Only once she was with Lotus, preparing her to be seen one last time did she fall silent.

When they were finished, everyone already gathered at the house filed into the study that was set up to be the viewing room. Teddy sobbed and I slipped my arm under his to keep him upright and kissed his temple. There his mother was all laid out in her pretty yellow dress with her yellow, blonde hair fanned out around her head. Someone, probably her mother, fanned out flowers all around her as if she’d simply fallen asleep in the garden.

Daliah stood beside her mother, stroking her hair. Big, sloppy tears ran down her cheeks. Zoey sat on Xander’s lap nearby holding her girlfriend’s hand. He was humming a Grim Howler’s song, but through the fog I couldn’t place which one it was. Xander was here. Jonah Dad was here. Was Uncle Micah coming?

“Their plane just landed,” Jonah appeared at my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

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