Page 59 of Tempt Me

“One hundred percent. Like, how I lived at home for a long time and felt no need to push myself. Then one day, I decided I wanted a high-rise condo. No hesitation. I picked a place, bought it, and moved in within a month. No regrets, either.”

“But you’re giving up your condo.”

Hunter frowns at me. “You’re so messed up, Tack.”

I share her scowl. “What’s that mean?”

“You know what it means. Your parents fucked you mentally. You ended up on the farm, and they helped you feel right, but you’re still wired all wrong.”

“I think I’m reading shit correctly here. You wanted me but said no. Now, you’re saying yes. What’s to say you won’t say no again?”

Hunter’s expression goes soft and her tone is tender when she replies, “Nothing. Life isn’t constant. It ebbs and flows. One day, you might wake up and realize you don’t love me anymore.”

“No,” I mutter, irritated by even the suggestion.

“Tack, you don’t know what forty-year-old you will be like. Or what sixty-year-old you will want. And that’s okay. You love me in this moment in time. I love you, too. But life’s messy. I’ve wanted you for a long time, but I didn’t want your dangerous life. One day, my life also became dangerous. I wasn’t protecting myself by being away from you. I was just suffering. So, I changed gears. But I’ve always been honest with you. I never lied about why things were happening.”

Going rigid, I dare to ask, “What happens when your life isn’t dangerous anymore?”

“I’m more worried about what happens years from now when we’re older and have kids. Can we keep our relationship sexy and fun like Aunt Fred and Elvis do? Or will we be like my parents who got bored and moved on? You and I have never been put to the test, so I don’t know the answer. But if we’re honest with each other, we’ll be okay.”

Exhaling hard, I don’t want Hunter to be reasonable. I need her to tell me how we’re in this shit together forever. My twisted parents loved each other until their last breaths. That sounds more romantic than Hunter and me growing apart and parting ways like rational adults.

“You are a lot like your mom,” I mutter.

Hunter smiles despite my meaning. “At my age, she was on her second husband and had two kids. She’s far more passionate and fearless than I am. But I want you, and I believe we can be happy.”

I stare into her eyes and demand, “I want you to say more.”

Hunter studies me before offering a patient smile. “I can see us at our kids’ high school graduations. We’ll take them on summer trips before they start college. Your hair will be thinner up here,” she says and runs her fingers through my currently thick hair.

“And your belly won’t be so hard and trim,” she adds, stroking my gut.

Hunter takes my hand and says, “Age will catch up to me, too. I’ll have a wider butt and saggy breasts. No doubt some nips and tucks will be in my future. By then, we’ll have remodeled our house a few times since I’m easily bored. Your friends will regularly come over to hang out in our tricked-out garage. I’ll have new hobbies. Maybe gardening or I’ll fancy myself a painter again. You’ll need to pretend to enjoy my art exhibits like you did my plays.”

“But I do like your plays.”

Hunter grins at my bullshit. “Would you sit through them if you didn’t get to look at me?”

Chuckling, I admit, “No, not in a million years.”

Hunter shares my laughter. “I want us to get old and saggy and lame together. That’s the dream, but I can’t pretend life is written in stone.”

“I can.”

“Because we’re different. You see that, right?”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine you’d have ever stalked me.”

“Uh, I kept coming to the clubhouse to see you. I stalked you plenty, but I was more subtle. Apparently, you never even noticed.”

“I figured you were there to hang out with Siobhan.”

“That’s her work place. Why would we choose to hang out there all the time when we could go somewhere she doesn’t have customers thinking she’s on duty?”

“No,” I mumble, having never really considered Hunter stalking me. I knew we were friends. That’s what she was doing. “Why stalk me if you didn’t want to be together?”

Shrugging, Hunter admits, “I just needed a fix. If I approached you somewhere else, you’d think I was encouraging you.”

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