Page 72 of Saviors

I was silent as I picked up a chair and moved it to the end of the bed. My gaze never left her as I sank into it. I didn’t need to be here. She was safe. From the outside and her nightmares.

Connor laid beside her, their faces inches apart. Maverick was behind her; a thick arm over her stomach, his head buried into her neck.

She was safe.

I repeated it, hoping the knowledge would make me move. But I was still. I wasn’t sure how long I watched her sleep, wishing I could be the one next to her.

39

Violet

The warmth was what woke me. The heat radiating from the two solid walls of muscle who held me in their embrace. An arm over my stomach. Another resting on my thigh. A leg tossed over mine. One in between my knees.

We were a mess of limbs, completely tangled together. I’d never felt safer. Or more cherished.

I’d become used to having them here each night. They kept my mind from wandering to dangerous places. From remembering things I’d rather not.

But this felt different. Like we’d crossed a line. Like it wasn’t to keep the nightmares away, but because we wanted to be near each other.

I snuggled further into their comfort without opening my eyes. I tried to find the rhythmic breathing of sleep. Hoping if I did, then the doubts wouldn’t creep in.

But they found me.

My thoughts raced. I’d allowed each of them to come in my mouth last night. I’d let them make me come. Let Reid touch me in a place no one ever had. What would my family say if they knew? They already thought I made bad decisions.

This wasn’t how people healed. What was I doing? What would everyone think?

“You’re awake.” Reid’s low voice startled me and I shot up. But Connor and Maverick didn’t move as their arms fell away. I missed the contact immediately.

But Reid’s soft expression captivated me. His blue eyes drank me in as if he’d never seen anything more beautiful. They created a tingle along my skin. I felt them ghosting over my pale green negligee.

I’d bought it before. Imagining I’d have a boyfriend to show it to. I hadn’t pictured wearing it while waking up with three of them. Not that they were my boyfriends. Friends with benefits was maybe more accurate.

“Come here.” He held his hand out, beckoning me to him. I couldn’t even pretend I didn’t want to go.

I crawled to the end of the bed, trying not to wake the others. When I reached the edge, he grasped my hand, pulling me gently into his lap. My legs lay across his. My hands were clasped together. He pressed my head until it hit his shoulder. It only took a second for my body to relax against him.

His fingers stroked my thigh as he held me. The other rubbing the nape of my neck. I resisted the urge to run my fingers along his taut muscles, remembering how forcibly he demanded I not touch him.

My hand ached to reach out. To feel his skin. His heart beat, but I stayed still. Wondering what had happened to him, but afraid to ask. Worried I couldn’t handle it. I could barely keep myself together right now. I wouldn’t be able to take on their pain as well.

Instead, I contented myself with staring up at him. “Don’t you sleep?”

His lip twitched, like my concern for him was funny. “I need very little. How are you feeling after yesterday?”

A sigh worked through my body. My chest rose with it. It made an audible sound when it escaped me. Should I tell him the truth? I’d never lied to them and I had no reason to start now.

“Honestly, I’m not sure.” I tucked my head into his neck, hoping to hide the embarrassment on my face.

His fingers stilled as my lips brushed his skin. I froze, but after a moment, he continued the soothing motions again. I kept my mouth right there, feeling his pulse beat on my lips as my mind twisted.

Maybe it would be better if I pretended I was fine with everything. That I didn’t feel guilt or worry. A hint of shame and fear.

My parents had already disowned me over a fight about an ex and he was a decent man; just not the one for me. I had no chance to repair the relationship with my family while hiding away with three guys.

And what would my brothers think? The two people I’d risked my life for. Stayed locked up to keep safe. I still wasn’t sure they were.

My skin heated as Reid grasped my chin. My lips parted as he guided my gaze to his. “Thank you for telling me the truth. That’s how it should be.”

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