Page 48 of Saviors

It was wrong to want them all. To try and use them to fix myself. After what happened to me, I shouldn’t crave three men touching me. Fucking me. But I did.

In the end, it didn’t matter. I didn’t have it in me to act on it. I shoved those feelings down. Sealed them into an envelope that held all my other secrets.

I couldn’t even decide what to have for breakfast. How could I be thinking about sleeping with them? I needed to leave. Needed to focus on my real life.

I knew it was true, but my heart still sank to my feet.

26

Reid

My eyes skimmed over the information on the screen, but I couldn’t say what the words meant. I forced myself to focus on my work. But my ears were straining. Listening for the sound of the front door opening. Waiting for Violet to come home.

Fuck. This wasn’t her home. When had I started believing it was? A month later? A week? A day? Why was it starting to feel like she’d always been here?

I tried to force the line of thinking away, but when I wasn’t distracted by the anticipation of her return, I was remembering how sweet she’d sounded when she’d come last night. How perfect she’d looked in Connor’s arms. How good she’d tasted.

Motherfucker.

Where was my goddamn control? I pushed off the desk, sending my chair back. My head hit the leather as I stared up at the ceiling. My hand skimmed over my thigh, inches away from my hard cock.

The mere thought of her turned me on.

I should just go to Eros and find someone to fuck. Quick. Easy. Unattached.

Acid burned my throat as I pictured it. Why did something that was once so simple disgust me now? It had been the perfect arrangement. Until her.

The front door opening snapped me from my thoughts. I sat straighter in my chair. My eyes dropped to the screen, pretending like I wasn’t listening for her footsteps. My body hummed as I heard the door close and then nothing. I could feel her presence lingering outside my office.

There was a soft knock before Violet stepped inside. She’d had more than just her nails done. Her hair had been trimmed and her face glowed. I didn’t know if it was a product or something else women did to make themselves look like that. But it was impossible to glance away from her.

She was so fucking beautiful from her shiny black hair, her creamy skin; her plump pink lips to the light purple color on her nails. My gut tightened at the sight of her.

“Can I talk to you?” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. Her fingers lingered on the doorjamb as if she was prepared to escape if I refused.

I wanted to. I wished I could send her away. Instead, I raised a hand, indicating she could come in. She grasped one of her wrists as she stood in front of me. Her thumb stroked along her arm as she took a deep inhale. The tension in her body had the same echoing in my chest.

“I think I should leave.” Her words sucked the breath from my lungs.

“Why?” I hated the crispness of my tone. A part of me knew that was best. That I shouldn’t risk getting closer to her. But another part was unwilling to let her go. Ever.

“I need to face reality. Find my brothers. Deal with my family. With… what happened. It’s not a good idea for me to stay here with all of you. Even if I want to.” Her voice wavered and god help me, I hoped it was because she felt the energy between us and not because she feared me. “It’s okay that you didn’t want to continue last night. I understand, but I have to go.”

I tilted my head to the side, finally taking in every inch of her. Her cheeks were stained pink. Her teeth had made a tiny hole in her lip. Her shoulders were rounded as if she was shielding herself. My stomach dipped as I realized how much I’d hurt her by stopping things last night.

I should let her believe it. Let her walk out. But my mouth was opening before I could do what was right.

“You know that’s not true, pretty girl.” My hands twitched to reach for her. To pull her into my lap and run my fingers along her smooth skin. Feel her pulse jump under my touch. “I want you more than I fucking should. More than is good for me.”

I imagined her palms on my chest, feeling my own heart racing. I wanted her to touch me. The idea had made my muscles tense. My skin tingle. I hadn’t desired that in a while.

I got off by watching. Preferred it. But not with her for some reason. It had taken all my control not to feel her pretty little cunt for myself last night.

“Come here.” I couldn’t take this distance between us anymore. Couldn’t be the cause of her pain.

She took a step towards me, and my blood pumped faster. My gaze focused on the swish of her dress around her thighs. As she rounded the corner of my desk, I smelt the floral scent of her body wash. Lavender. I recognized it because I’d bought it for her.

Fucking stupid. Now it would always remind me of her, even long after she was gone.

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