Page 40 of Imperfect Skin

I wiggled around. I was eager to get downstairs and start colouring, and maybe if I was super good, Daddy would let me watch The Hobbit. Well, the first movie at least. I tried to rein in my wiggling butt, but I just wanted to colour.

“Okay, little one, listen to me.” Daddy pulled me up into his lap. I couldn’t grumble about that. His lap was super comfortable.

“I’m listening, Daddy.”

“Good boy. I have to ask you something.” Daddy was sounding very serious, even though he was smiling at me.

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, so here’s the thing. You know how our Rhys likes his Little space?”

“Yeah, Sy is a good Daddy for him. Rhee is so cute when he’s Little, he likes his blocks and his dummy and to play.” I loved being around Rhee when he was Little. It was fun and made me feel nice. I smoothed out my colouring books, making sure I didn’t bend the pages. I hoped we finished the talk soon. I really wanted to colour and watch TV.

“You’re being very good for me, little Mouse, and we can go downstairs and colour in a minute.” Daddy pushed my hair back from my face and I giggled when he leaned in and kissed my nose. “Do you think maybe you might be a little bit like Rhys? Maybe not a Little, but I think Middle space is closer to how you’re feeling right now. What do you think?”

Daddy gave me a hug as I thought about what he’d just said. It was true that I’d been slipping in and out of this weird headspace since Cal had brought me home from The Pit, but honestly, I’d had times when I coloured alone or just hung out in my room that I’d felt myself slip into this headspace. Not as deeply though, not like now. Now that I had Cal, I felt safe. But maybe he didn’t want to be my Daddy when I was like this.

“Sweetheart, I can see your thoughts going a mile a minute. Let me put that brain of yours at ease. I love seeing you like this just as much as I look forwards to getting to play with that sexy maso brat I know is in there. I love getting to know both sides of my beautiful boy.”

I didn’t know what to say. I rubbed my chest. The feelings I had inside me felt too big to hold in, but I didn’t want to frighten him away. So instead of trying to find my words, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight, whispering, “Thank you,” against his throat.

“Oh, lovely boy, I should be thanking you. This gift you have given me is priceless, and I promise to be the best Daddy I can be, though I can’t promise I won’t mess up occasionally.”

I reached out and grabbed Daddy’s bearded cheeks. “I can promise you I will mess up, and be a total brat, and get stroppy. And I will argue with you, but I know you will look after me, even if you have to spank my bum.” I winked at him, earning a rough chuckle. I loved that sound.

“I think, little Mouse, you are going to have to learn the difference between a funishment and a punishment. And believe me, lad, if you’re naughty enough to earn a spanking, I’ll be using my paddle on that cute behind of yours.”

I bit my lip, at war with the contradictory feelings going on in my head. Perhaps I would try to be a good boy for a little while. Well, as long as Daddy didn’t have too many rules.

“Are you going to have rules for me?” I pulled Daddy’s hand into my lap and played with the big lion’s head ring he wore.

“Yeah, we are, little Mouse. I think some rules would be good, don’t you? And not just while you’re in your Middle space.”

I focused on Daddy’s ring and on the lotus bloom tattoo on the back of his hand. It kind of prickled me that he was right. Rules probably would be a good thing for me. “I suppose. What kind of rules?”

“Well, the first one is no more going to The Pit. That, my lovely boy, is a non-negotiable one. Nobody gets to beat on your sweet arse except for me.” Daddy gave me a stern look.

This was one rule I wasn’t going to screw up. No more Pit. I had Daddy now, and I hoped he’d help me find a better way of dealing with the bad stuff in my head.

“I’m not a half in kind of man, Mouse. If I tell you I’m your Daddy, then that’s what I am. At work we can keep it business as usual, but I do expect you to follow the rules we set, and the same goes for when Alice is home. She doesn’t need to know about this side of our relationship, but I’m happy for her to know that you and I are together. I’m not ashamed of that. I want us to be open and honest with each other. No hiding things, especially if we’re worried or unsure.”

My heart thumped so loudly in my chest I thought Daddy might be able to hear it. He would really be happy to let Alice know?

“What about Simon and Rhys?” I asked, still not taking my eyes off Daddy’s hand.

“That’s up to you, lamb. I’ll admit I don’t want to hide something this important to me from Simon, but I understand if you want to wait a while.”

I shook my head. I had wanted this—wanted Cal—since I was sixteen years old. I still didn’t believe I was good enough to be with him, sure that he would wake up one morning and realise he’d saddled himself with me. But for now, I was going to ride the high that came with Cal being my Daddy.

“No, I want to tell him. We can do it at lunch tomorrow, if you want.” Sunday lunch had become a thing for our group. Either we’d meet at the Lion or go to someone’s place.

“As long as you’re comfortable with it. I was thinking of maybe getting everyone to come here for lunch instead of going to the Lion. That way, if your back starts hurting, we’re here and you can rest.”

“That sounds good. I can help cook.” I finally looked up and smirked when I saw Daddy giving me the side-eye. “What? I can help peel potatoes and stuff.”

“True. You can’t make too much of a mess doing that.”

“You still don’t trust me after the microwave cup puddings, do you?”