Page 41 of Imperfect Skin

Daddy hugged me and chuckled deeply. “Lamb, it took me a week to get the chocolate sauce out of the curtains, and the microwave had to be thrown out.”

“They were really yummy, though.” I smiled at the memory. Okay, the mess had been epic, but the puddings that I’d managed to get right were perfect. Alice said they were the best things she’d ever eaten, and her opinion was the most important when it came to food.

“We’re going to be talking about your eating habits, by the way, and your sleep schedule. They’re all going to be going on our list.”

I felt the angry prickles in my brain. Didn’t he think I could look after myself? I wasn’t a dumb kid. And besides, I’d been living off pot noodles and cheese slices since I was a kid. I loved that shit.

As if he was reading my mind, Daddy sighed. “Lamb, you skip more meals than you eat, and pot noodles with a slice of pre-packaged cheese stirred through doesn’t count.”

“What’s wrong with cheese slices? Or pot noodles, for that matter?”

“They’re more closely related to plastic than cheese, and I have serious doubts about the validity of them being edible,” Daddy countered.

“Ugh, fine. I’m willing to negotiate. But I won’t give them up entirely.” I was going to hold fast. It was a slippery slope. First my pot noodles, then what? Was he going to try and make me eat vegetables every night? I glanced up and sighed.

Darn it, he was going to make me eat veggies.

“We can negotiate. This is why I want us to sit down later and write out a contract of sorts.” Daddy looked at me and gave a sad sort of huff. “I’ve gone and ruined your headspace. See, lamb? You’re not the only one who fucks up.”

I covered my face, trying to hide my giggle. I didn’t know why, but Daddy swearing was kind of funny. “Nothing’s ruined, Daddy. We’re both learning, right?” I bussed my nose against his, hoping he’d see he hadn’t messed up. I was starting to understand how this was for Rhys, how he could slide between the two sides of himself without really thinking. Experiencing this with my own Daddy was super exciting and a little bit scary. “When I talked to Rhys about this stuff, the way he explained it was you just have to go with your gut, what feels right. And that the Daddy’s job is to make us yummy food and let us play all night.” Daddy’s rumbling laughter made me giggle. “Well, I’m sure there are some silly things like rules and stuff, but we don’t need to get bogged down with those, right?” I gave Daddy my sweetest smile.

“You, little Mouse, are going to be a handful. You’re right, though. There’s no set way to be a Daddy, just as there’s no set way to be a Little or Middle. We’re both going to find out what works best for us, as well as exploring that perfect little masochist side of you.”

I shivered at Daddy’s words. I could only imagine all the terrible, wonderful things he could do to me—but that wasn’t what I wanted right now. Right now, I wanted to colour in my new books and watch The Hobbit.

“Come on, let’s get you downstairs. I might even have a box of that microwave popcorn you love.”

“Yes!” I gave a fist pump, then kissed Daddy’s cheek before hopping off his lap, bouncing on the soles of my feet. “Come on Daddy, hurry up.”

“Slow down. The last thing we need is for you to take a tumble. Besides, you need to put some socks on.”

My shoulders slumped and I let out a loud groan as I stomped to my dresser and tried to find a clean pair of socks. Luckily my purple, fluffy socks were there. I grabbed them, which was awkward. I was holding my colouring books and pencils, but I didn’t want to put them down because they might get lost again.

“Come sit back on the bed and let me put those socks on.” Daddy patted the bed and gave me a big smile. “Tomorrow, I think our first job might be tidying up in here a bit, yeah?”

I clutched my books to my chest and nodded. I suppose it did need a tidy. Was Daddy going to make me sleep in my own bed instead of his big, comfy one? I didn’t like that idea very much, but I supposed last night I’d slept in Daddy’s bed because he’d been worried about me. Daddy tugged on my foot, making me look at him. He had one of my purple socks in his hand and my foot in the other.

“That is a very serious face you have on, young man. What’s got you frowning?”

I took a deep breath. Daddy wanted us to be honest with each other, not hide things, even scary feelings. And it was better to know now, before I got my hopes up over silly things.

“Do you want me to sleep in my own bed? I mean, I get it, this is all really new and maybe that’s like, moving too fast,” I rambled, watching the top of Daddy’s head while he bent to roll on my sock.

Daddy picked up my left foot and did the same thing before he looked up. “Lamb, I want you in my bed every fucking night. But if that’s too fast for you, I understand.”

“No, I want to sleep in your bed. And not just because you have the softest mattress ever, but that is a big bonus,” I laughed.

“Then that’s settled, you’re in my bed. But that doesn’t mean you’re getting out of cleaning your room. Besides, it would be good for you to have your own space that you can come to when you need to chill out or need a break.”

That was sensible, I supposed. There were times when the thorns in my brain got sharp and I said mean things without meaning to. Normally I’d go out on my bike, not really caring where I ended up. I sometimes rode all night until I was too tired to focus on the road and came home to find Cal waiting for me with a coffee and a hug. Thinking on it now, I realised I must have worried him when I did that. There were so many things I was going to have to talk to Daddy about. But not now. I was tired, and sick of tricky, adult thinking.

“Okay, all set to go, little lamb. Let’s get you set up on the sofa.”

Fourteen

CALLUM

Iwas so out of my depth here.

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