Page 50 of Along Comes Trouble

Her face falls. “That makes two of us, I guess. Here I am, wondering if I’m lost while you’re questioning your entire existence. We’re either great for each other or terrible together .”

Tessa’s words cut straight through skin and bone and slash across my heart. “I don’t feel terrible when I’m with you. Or at least I didn’t .”

“But you do now?” Tessa rests her drink on her knee .

“I’m too confused to know how I feel .”

She bobs her head and sucks in her lips, staring blankly at the carpet at her feet. “I was dreading having to go home for the holidays, but maybe the time apart will do us good .”

I close my eyes and swallow hard. My mouth goes dry, so I take a drink, but I want a clear head, so I put the glass on the table. Time apart from Tessa sounds terrible. It sounds like loneliness and sliding backward. It sounds like losing everything I’ve ever wanted, but it also sounds safe. Like the pain might recede as my life slides back into its familiar shape and while that shape might be gray and uninspired, at least I know where I belong and how I fit into things. At least I know better than to get my hopes up ever again .

I turn to Tessa. Her chin quivers and her mouth trembles. When she closes her eyes, tears sneak out from behind her eyelids and slide down her cheeks. She doesn’t open her eyes, nor does she speak again. Her stillness hurts. I can’t sit here and watch her not fight for us. Can’t watch her not want me. Tessa Morgan is out of my league, I’ve known it from the beginning. I guess it was inevitable that she would figure it out, too .

I throw back the rest of my drink, the gin tasting bitter in the back of my throat. I stand, but don’t know what to say. Goodbye feels too final, too symbolic. I slide my hands into my pockets and stare as she swivels her gaze to meet mine .

She blinks back her tears and her lips part. “Colton,” she begins, but chokes on whatever she wants to say .

I swallow hard. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” I lift my hat and run a hand through my hair. “I should go .”

Tessa licks her lips and her face crumbles. She drops her head into her hands and makes a sound that tears past my defenses. I close my eyes, block her out, and turn toward the door. My heart breaks as I twist open the lock and something inside me dies when I grip the knob .

There’s a rustle of movement behind me as Tessa stands. “Colton .”

I freeze and drop my head. I can’t look at her. Not now. I can’t see her with tears streaming down her cheeks. I can’t see the pain in her eyes or it will destroy me .

She crosses the room and takes my hand, her small fingers cold against mine. “Don’t go .”

Her words are knives. The emotion choking her has a strangle hold on my heart. I turn .

Tessa struggles to swallow. “Please. Don’t leave me. I don’t know how to be without you. I’m not ready for goodbye .”

I cup her cheek and she leans into my hand. Her tears smear across my palm. I don’t know what to say. A stronger man would leave and save her from the bigger hurt that’s barreling toward us, but I’m not strong enough to walk away from her. I tilt her face toward mine and kiss her. It means goodbye and I’m sorry and I need you and I only hope she can hear it all I can’t bring myself to say it out loud .

Her hands grip my arms and she trembles against me. She’s small and scared and damn it, I can’t let her feel like this because of me. I can’t. I brush her hair off her forehead. “I love you, Tessa. I don’t know if I deserve you, but I love you.” The words feel good. Right. I should have said them weeks ago .

She blinks and a fresh set of tears waver in her eyes. “I love you, too.” She forces the words past the emotion choking her. “And I need you, and I’m scared .”

“I’m scared, too.” The admission hangs between us and I kiss it away, my hands sliding through her hair and down her back. There isn’t a way to be close enough to her. I sweep her off the ground, cradle her in my arms, and carry her upstairs to stretch her out on her bed. Her hair fans out across her pillows and I undress her reverently, kissing each spot I uncover, until she’s bare to me. I slip out of my clothes and then climb onto the bed, looking deeply into her eyes as I enter her .

“I love you,” I say and then kiss her. “So much .”

Our bodies move, passionate and desperate. Emotion fills the space and in the glow put off by the lights strung around her room, I realize that I need this woman more than I’ve ever needed anyone or anything. We climax together and I collapse on the bed beside her, gather her to me, and stroke her hair while she pretends not to cry against my chest .

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