Page 20 of This Is Why

TY

I’mup and moving before any of the Carmichaels, and considering they have a three-month-old son and run a farm, that’s saying something. I quietly brew some coffee, fill a mug and then grab my laptop and head out to the porch to watch the sunrise. Once I’m settled in a chair that looks out over a large orchard, I fire up my laptop and start browsing the news. My mind is only half focused on what I’m reading. Lexi and Gabe have stolen control of the other half. By the time the sun peeks past the horizon, I’ve discarded my news sites in favor of childhood development sites. There are at least twelve tabs open on my browser, including some private school options as well as information about Montessori schools. Lexi told me that Gabe was smart, but energetic and prone to wanting to do things his way. If he’s anything like me—and the last two days have shown that he’s a lot like me—then he might do better with less traditional schooling.

David and Michelle get up with Claire and Thomas shortly after six and Dean and Annabelle wander up from their house shortly after that, while Colton strolls up the lane from his trailer in the distance.

“What are you doing out here so early?” Annabelle pauses at the top of the steps leading to the porch.

I hold out my coffee and nod towards my laptop. “Just catching up on what’s going on in the world.”

“Why don’t you come on inside and I’ll make you something to eat,” she says. “The world willwait.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine with my coffee today.”

Annabelle clucks her tongue, a sure sign she disapproves, and heads into the house without another word. Twenty minutes later, she reappears with a plateful of food. “You can’t start the day without a full belly,” she says as she hands me breakfast. “You don’t have to come in and join our craziness, but you do have to eat.” She stands there, her hands balled up into fists and pressed into her ample hips until I take my firstbite.

“It’s delicious,” I say around a mouthful. “Thankyou.”

Annabelle grins at me, pats me on the arm, and heads inside without anotherword.

The moment the clock clicks over to nine—that’s late enough for a single mom to be up and moving, right?—I shoot Lexi atext.

Me: I couldn’t go another minute without saying good morning toyou.

I don’t expect her to respond immediately, but my anxiety rises as fifteen of the longest minutes in the history of the world tick by. I had such a great time last night and felt a deeper connection with Lexi than I ever thought was possible with another human being. Her lack of response kickstarts a slow burn of worry. Is she just not that into me? I fully reject the idea and push the anxiety off to a corner of my brain and lock it away, focusing instead on the open tabs on my browser and the growing list of questions I want to ask about my son. A full forty-five minutes later, my phone buzzes on mylap.

Lex: Hey! Sorry! Work is crazy. :) Good morning to you, too!

Oh, thank the sweet Lord in heaven! Of course she’s at work. And of course that would keep her occupied. Smiling, I tap out anothertext.

Me: Just gonna put this out there. Don’t respond right away, at least not until you get over the part where you try to tell meno…

Lex: Uhhh… okay…

Me: And I don’t want you to freak out either, so, maybe you should sit down or something…

I grin at my phone, imagining the way she must be pursing her eyebrows together in confusion. All I want to do is ask her out again, but I love teasing her too much to be straightforward aboutit.

Lex: Out with it, Marine! You’re killing mehere!

Me: You sittingdown?

Lex: Nope. But I’m a big girl. I’m sure I’ll befine.

Me: Okay… Suit yourself…

I let another minute pass before my phone buzzes again.

Lex: Damn it, Ty…

Me: I’ve been thinking about it all morning. Well, since last night, really. And I mean, this is kind of a bigdeal…

I wait for the bouncing dots that mean she’s typing out a response, but nothing happens. Did I push her too far? Did she get called back to work? Messing around with her is decidedly less fun when she’s not right here in front of me so I can read her reaction. I put the phone down and head inside to refill my coffee, the remnants of a Carmichael breakfast soaking in the sink. When I get back outside, the notification light on my phone is blinking and I swipe it up and unlock it to find a text fromLexi.

Lexi: See? It’s no fun when people mess with you, huh?

Lexi: If you wanted to ask me out, all you had to do wasask.

I smile as I lean my elbows on the porch railing, phone in my hands.

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