Page 27 of Bride of Choice

As I bid him a good rest of his day and left, he said something to Rek that had my grumpy shadow snarling back in answer.

Maybe Moussau was telling him to knock it off and leave me alone. That would be lovely. Some time apart might do us both some good.

When I’d traveled a fair distance and the inquisition didn’t pick back up, I glanced over my shoulder to find myself alone. A pang of something I didn’t want to define hit then, but I shoved it down, along with all the other crap I’d grown so good at repressing.

Makes this next part easier, I thought, skipping the rest of the way up to my next victim’s door. Grabbing one of the smellier herbs from my basket, I smacked it about my person until I was sure I was good and doused with herby goodness. One, this herb was pungent and would easily mask my smell for long enough to hopefully get an answer, and, two, he might think it’s food.

Giving up any pretense of being ladylike, I lifted a balled fist to the thick wooden door of the wonky looking dome shaped hut too close to the river’s edge and gave it a good pounding. I kept it up, quiet as a mouse but for my fist smacking wood. I knew better by now.

Bum-bum threw his door open, wild gaze darting around, teeth bared, a snarl in his throat. Looking more than a little wildeyed and disheveled, smelling mighty fine if I did say so myself, that strangely enticing, potent Yeti musk, I grinned knowingly up at him when his gaze finally dipped a bit farther south than a Yeti’s height would be.

“So… not to bother you or anything, and, gee, thanks heaps for all your help, you know, with the false missing person’s alarm, the scary demon beast protection thing, and just how generally awesome you are- Oh, and speaking of awesome, I’ve a favor to ask. Just a favor, mind you, but I know you’re just the Yeti to do it!” Before he could get a word in edgewise at my rambling mouthful, I finished with a flourish. “Pretend to be interested in wooing me? PLEASE! Prettyprettyplease! I’ll love you forever and super owe you big time? Best Bum-bum there ever was-was?”

It took him a minute. I could see those wheels turning as he slowly puzzled that hot mess all out. His lips parted, looking like he was about to speak, then he’d scowl, grunt, start to garble something, to stop, then start that fun rollercoaster all over again.

“No,” he said finally, looking like I’d just asked him to commit murder with me and dance with dismembered body parts.

“Oh, come on! You’re the furred beast for the job! Perfect for it!” I pleaded. “C’mon, Snow Patrol, I’m not asking you to dip anything anywhere near the gumbo pot! I’m just asking you to act like you wanna! Pretend woo me, that’s all. Please-please-pretty-pretty-please-please, with rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, hot fudge, and a cherry on top?!” My boot wedged into the doorway, making it impossible for him to slam the door on me and escape. “I’m desperate, I’ll do anything?!”

“NO!” Bum-bum jerked to the left, growled, then sort of fell forward, like he was being pulled by unseen forces. With a snarl, his hands went to his head and he bellowed, “NO!” Lifting a hand absently, it shot out.

A direct hit— I flew backwards with the force of it, skidding along the snow and ice, kissing the bank of the river, basket and goodies within going every which way in the process.

“Ow,” I muttered at the door that was just slammed in my face. Wincing, I groaned as I picked myself up off the ground. “Didn’t have to do me like that, puff ball…” Loudly, I asked, “Was it the Snow Patrol thing or the pretend you wanna love me thing?” Maybe it was mentioning my gumbo pot that had triggered him…? Who knew. Big bad whatevers, my ass. These furry fools were skittish as fuck.

Groaning as I gathered up my things, I frowned at the butt sized skid mark in the snow I’d made. “Special snow angel,” I joked, shaking my head as I made to take off.

My gaze kept going back to Bum-bum’s place as I hobbled my way elsewhere.

Booger had said no to a pretend wooing, too. I wasn’t about to ask Gopher, who had finally returned from his family visit. A family I was aware of only in passing since Gopher was pretty tightlipped about his kin. That had left Bum-bum, the last of this very unBrady bunch.

Like hell was I going to approach Odix for a wingman. I’d tortured the fella enough. No need to confuse him further.

My expression pinched as I limped my way back towards Rosa’s. I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to make it.

“What happen you?” a male asked as I limped by.

Nosy newt.

“Nunya. Mind ya business,” I mutteringly answered over my shoulder, not bothering to look up as I adjusted the spilled items in my basket into some semblance of order.

He said something else but I’d hobbled past him fast enough I felt comfortable pretending I hadn’t heard him. His voice sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. Eh- didn’t matter.

“What happen?” Rek barked as he spied me rounding a hut, looking like he was lurking, waiting in the wings, business as usual.

Debating on whether or not to answer him, a wealth of relief hitting me at seeing him being his snoopy assed usual self and not wanting to acknowledge this, I grunted out, “I fell.”

“Jojoknee fall?” he repeated.

“Anyone hear an echo?” I snarked, determined to ignore him and walk past him.

“Walks funny,” he observed.

“No shit,” I muttered, wincing with every step. I needed to get off my feet, rest my sore ass and aching hip, but first I meant to deliver this basket to Rosa in thanks for letting me crash at her place. I hadn’t told her why I’d needed to crash and she wasn’t of a mind to ask— maybe it was something in my voice, I dunno —I was hoping she’d assume I was a little home sick— Earth sick —or whatever, and leave it at that. Either way, this basket of goodies was my thank you and it was going to make it there. Period.

“Stubborn,” Rek grumbled.

Like I’d asked him to or some shit, Rek ignored my squawks to fuck off at his approach, and scooped me up.

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