Page 15 of Bride of Choice

“Ass,” he said simply, scowling as he quietly repeated her name to himself, like he just didn’t get why that made his lady upset.

“Ass?” I mumbled faintly. Surely he was saying it wrong.

With a grunt, he lifted his chin proudly and nodded. “My Ass.”

Wondering how to handle this, I tapped a claw tip to my chin. “What’s your mate look like?” I ventured. Surely if I could place her, I could figure out who Bok’s Ass was. Bah dum tss.

Staring at me as if I’d just asked him to describe his own asshole in great detail, he blurted finally, “Bok’s Ass perfect.”

If that wasn’t the sweetest, yet totally off point thing on the planet. Ugh. My aching, cracked lil heart.

“I’m afraid I’ve yet to meet your perfect Ass,” I told him with a shrug, to choked laughter from Boog and an unhappy rumble from Gopher that honest to god surprised me.

“I’m just having a bit of fun, Gogo boots. Where did your sense of silliness rush off to?” I muttered to him through the side of my mouth.

Ass… A female with a name that sounded like Ass…

Nope. I got nothin’.

“Adds-lynn,” a shorter, thicker male with dull, sunflower yellow eyes offered.

“Azlyn,” I corrected, brightening. That little light bulb over my head just popped right on. She must have tried to get her Bok to call her Az or something at some point. I could see why she’d decided to quickly drop the nickety name.

“Az-lynn,” I said slowly, encouraging Bok to repeat after me until he had something much closer to Azlynn and less like his perfect Ass.

Getting the focus back on Bok’s lil problem, I clapped my hands as I dove back in. “So why else do you think your perfect Az doesn’t like you?”

As Bok fidgeted in place, looking like he was feeling on the spot and not much of a sharer, I smiled encouragingly as he slowly started to name all the reasons why he thought his bride didn’t like him. The list was pretty long and I could see why his perfect Ass had some issues. The way they went about getting the ladies around here was pretty flawed.

“I’m gonna level with ya, Bokky boy, it sounds like you forgot one big ol’ glarin’ dealio to get you all off to a roaring start.” My smile was too wide. If I had horns, they’d be gleaming. I’d been waiting to have my say on this whole bridal kidnapping thing for a good long while now. Things were about to get real.

Bok swallowed thickly but nodded, urging me to let him in the know.

“You kidnapped her, you kumquat headed ninny witty. What on earth did you think was going to happen?! She’d just magically fall in love with you and jump for joy at the chance of being your perfect Ass?” I snapped. My arms lifted, waving around as I had it all out. “These are real people, with lives and shit you’re taking them from. Some of them have families, etc, that’ll be looking for them, that love them. Y’all ever think about that while you were out there scoping out the ladies, hmm? They’re coming to terms with the whole cattywampus time warp of the portals and all that. It’s a head fuck, my dudes. If you can’t have any patience with them or even try to understand them, you have no business being with them!”

When Bok’s shoulders slumped even more and his throat worked, looking like he might actually cry, the crowd starting to grow restless with all them in your face revelations just tossed out there, I changed tactics.

“How long has she been with you?” I called out over the ruckus my diatribe had led to.

I knew very little of Azlynn. She wasn’t much of a talker, not with me at any rate, preferring to get her shit done and go home or whatever. She was much chummier with Daisy and Red. I’d sat in on a few convos between them while we all got our shit done but had never felt invited into the chat to actually speak my mind. Shocking, I know. The queen of loudmouthiness? Not butt in? Hah. Eh. I’m not that bad of a busybody. It was one of those outsider looking in, knowing not to butt in, serious life shit.

Holding up his hands, he started to count the days off.

“A good long while now, you’d say, yes?” I prompted, to him flashing fingers to show me she’d been here for going on weeks. “You’re the one that took her?”

Bok nodded.

I felt free to continue when the crowd settled down. “Think about what it might be like to be in her shoes. Sound fun?” My finger lifted and I pointed it at him. He flinched but maintained eye contact. “I bet it wasn’t all that fun for her, not at first. You could, I dunno… apologize to her? There’s a wild thought. Ask her, straight up, does she truly hate you? Maybe that’s something to contemplate. You’re happy she’s here and staying, but is she? It won’t just magically happen, my dude.”

Bok’s head began to flop up and down like an eager bobble head. Fear and hope mixed in those wild, beastie eyes.

“What Bok do then?” he garbled out quickly, tripping over the words.

“If she wants to keep you, you mean?” Making a noise in my throat, I quirked an eyebrow at him. That little growling thing he was doing, supremely displeased with my freely dispensed advice, was not what he’d wanted to hear. Yeah, well, I ain’t here to blow smoke up any furry starfishes. He can take it or leave it— his choice.

Waving off his fussing, my hands lifted, askance. “Make her happy? You love her, right? Wanna be with her forever? Make her feel like she owns your ass as much as you claim to wanna keep her perfect one? Eh? That me-mine shit works both ways, bok-bok.” Rolling my eyes as he started to frown and looked about to pepper me with a thousand questions, I held a hand up. “Look, she’s got a favorite male, I hope? I’ve heard her prattle off a few fuzzified sounding names a time or two. Go talk to one of them about your intentions, or some other poor, happily besotted male. What did they do? What worked? What didn’t? What do you know never to do— and then promise me to never, ever do whatever jacked up dumb assery it is, m’kay? It’s not rocket science, fuzzy boy. You want her? She means so much to you? You went through all the trouble to get her here, sound like you wanna keep her forever. Woo her, fuzzy monster.”

“Az mines,” he growled out ferociously.

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