Page 134 of Bride of Choice

“Not Rektal,” Rek made the mistake of getting snarly about. “Not nice,” he gritted out, glaring at Mal like it was somehow her fault.

“Oi! Hey,” I cut in sharply, “don’t you be talking to my niece cousin baby god child like that!” I was fit to be tied. “What the hell’s wrong with a piece of candy from the kidnapped lady, hmm? What business is it of yours, huh? You her mama? And she can call you whatever she likes!”

I was barely making sense and I couldn’t say I stood by the latter there but still! Don’t be yelling at that baby!

“Where Jojo Keke get Rek Rektal from?” Rek growled out softly, right into my face.

Putting myself between him and Rosa and the kids, I stood on tip toes so we were literally toe to toe.

Before I could blink, I found us in a never ending circle of stupidity, all going back to Rek. He was so bent out of shape about this whole witch thing, and quickly realized he thought he was protecting Kehko from the witch’s cursed candy, or so he’d thought. I felt partially responsible… until he started arguing with Kehko again instead of just letting it fucking drop.

The candy was no more. It was a moot point.

Mallory won me over as she turned Valkyrie on his ass, chewing him up and spitting him out better than I could have said it.

“Wow, Rektal. You’re kind of a douche,” I agreed with Mal at that ominous crunch of candy beneath Rek’s foot. Totally inedible now.

I got a glare for that, but it was worth it as his eyes narrowed at the mirth sparkling in mine. Eat your crow, you grumpy bastard. Eat it all right up! Suck on that, punk!

I kept it up, getting my pound of flesh for hurting my Kehko’s feelings and just as much for pinching my heart, traipsing off into the human realm to do god knows what, the jerk.

It was the douche canoe that had Rek looking ready to explode.

Why did I poke the bear? I knew better.

“Not doody-doo-ed canoe!” Rek roared.

The fool got right up in my face, thinking that shit would cower me. If this was some kind of power play, I hoped he planned on bowing down like a little bitch. Ooo, that male knew exactly how to get under my skin.

“Say it, don’t spray it, baby,” I tutted, then turned and sauntered off, knowing he’d stomp after.

“Not baby! Not doody-canooed! No walk from Rek! Joansie comes back! Rek-talking!”

I just kept on walking, leading him farther away from the scene he’d just caused.

With a little hum in my throat, I lifted my hand and moved my finger to the beat in my head.

That mouthy sock monkey followed me all the way up to my place and straight into my hut, snarling and snapping at me all the while. Waiting until he was inside and I could close the door on him, I smiled in satisfaction as I flounced off back to Rosa and he snarled his little heart out from inside.

This madness unfolding before me required some much needed interference— nudging Booger in the right direction, the Mally direction, to Boog’s do I, don’t I wishy-washiness. Can’t have that. Cue Khri, who would totally make a good brother husband to the more docile Boogster. Oh, how Mal had looked at Khri! It was a love story already in the making. I felt I’d done my duty, serving as a proper distraction so Khri could slip away with Mally.

Fresh off a giddy high of matchmaking nudging, I returned to my place to find a very agitated fuzz nugget glaring at the door, seated stiffly at the table, waiting for me.

Honey, I’m home!

“Drives Rek crazy!” he railed at me.

“At least I drive you somewhere,” I shot back sweetly, like he wasn’t looking ready to tear my throat out.

Rek paused for a moment, chest heaving, fangs bared. “That makes no sense.”

“Neither do your delulus about a witch cursing you, you nutty bastard. For the millionth time, I made it all up!”

“You delulus! That not even word!”

“No? Then what is it, big boy, huh? Do you even know?”

“Deflusionals,” he said on a grunt, frowning as his mouth worked. “Del-doo-shone-als,” he garbled out carefully.

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