Page 62 of Bride of Choice

What I wouldn’t give to have my fucking menstrual cup! Rek, you thieving ass face!

Eyeing me like he wasn’t sure how to take my sudden relaxed mood, the swift change in it, or my bossy ordering of him around, he gave a grunt of agreement and then walked outside.

By the time he’d made it back inside with my things, I’d hustled my ass across the room, eyeballing every door and doorway, looking for any hint of a designated bathroom. When I found it was about the time Kooky found me.

Sputtering noises left me. That was exactly how he found me, gaping at a crystal filled rock wall that essentially made the bathroom wall nearly completely see-through. While the pretty crystal mural was quite beautiful to look at, it was beyond impractical.

“I’m not dealing with having Aunt Judy around with- with that!” My hand lifted, finger jabbing.

“No Judy. Celuk’ hut.” Kooky glanced from the bathroom curiously, to my jab-happy digit.

“My period. Lady time. The monthly bleed. I am not dealing with the red death, get the jist fuzzywumpkins, or any other bodily needs that might arise, in a see-through bathroom!”

Kooky leaned in past my hand, until he was trying to peer through one of the hazy white crystals. “Fuzzy. No see,” he tried to assure me.

Careful of my hip, I stomped the opposite foot. “You can see right through it!”

“Fuzzy,” he repeated, then opened the heavy looking bathroom door to light the oil lamp just inside and stand on the other side. “Jo see?”

“Lift your arms,” I instructed.

He did, and I added as I squinted at him, “Pat your head.”

One hand fell to his head and he began to pat it.

“Now rub your belly,” I deadpanned.

The same hand began to rub his belly, the other loose at his side.

“Hop on one foot and sing Twinkle Twinkle,” I ordered next.

“Jo no see,” he rumbled out abruptly and immediately stopped rubbing his belly.

“I can see anyone who might step foot in here will get a blurry front row seat to me using the facilities.” Shaking my head, I started to walk away, remembered exactly why I’d tried so hard to hightail it over here, and sighed noisily.

“What wrong?” he rumbled out instantly, eyeing me for clues. Kooky picked up fast. I appreciated that extra sense in a beast.

What was wrong, he asks? Well, for starters…

“I need to go, you know, as well as take care of some pressing lady needs. I’m not comfortable using that, or possibly having a run in with Celuk, should he choose to pop in unexpectedly while I’m in there and get a free fuzzy peep show. I wished I had all my shit here if I’m gonna be here for a while. Makeshift pads are great and all in a pinch but they’ve got nothing on the washable ones in my suitcase, or my damn menstrual cup, wherever the fuck its run off to, I’ve got no clue at this point, and some beastie takes perverse delight in tormenting me by hiding my things. I feel a bit like a broken doll. I’m tired, my head, hip, thigh, buttcheeks, and everything in between hurt. I’m bleeding like a stuck pig— that’s a phrase— you come near my lady bits to fact check me and I’ll brain ya. I’m worried about the Krampus, about being alone, about my cousin finding out about all the things I’ve been keeping from her, about just about every fucking thing else wrong with my life that I’m not about to divulge to a practical stranger, and if you tell anybody about any of the things I just told you, the crazy garden in desperate need of a weeding outback will find itself with a very noticeable, Lo denaii sized lump!”

“What- Mens-strawl cup?” Lifting the cup for the magic brew, hooked on his finger, I couldn’t help it when I laughed.

“It’s for lady stuff. I’d draw you a picture but the pen in my purse ran out of ink. And I’m not ashamed of talking you through how it works but I’ve been told by other Lo denaii it sounds weird.” Gesturing towards the door, I sighed noisily while he stood there, expression perfectly blanked, and watched me.

“Could you do me a favor and stand there with your back to the wall, be my lookout?”

His gaze went from curious to the lady has given me a mission. “Jes,” he said with a firm nod, then took up sentry.

Hurrying into the bathroom, I quickly took care of business and washed my hands. My next problem was what to do with the women’s cloths I’d be needing to wash thoroughly to dry and reuse. Some ladies had perfected making their own washable, reusable pads. I’d brought my own, bought during my gal pal time with Booger, so it hadn’t been an issue up until now.

My cheeks heated at the idea of asking Kooky about all of this. What the heck would he know what to do, and why should he?

A loud snuffling noise from my sentry had him calling out, “Jo?”

“I, uh, erm- So, uh, I’m gonna need some really strong soap and a clean bucket no one’s real fond of,” I called back.

“For Aunts Judy, jes?” A grunt left him and he muttered as he disappeared past the crystal wall, “Jes.” His words slipped into his language, but it didn’t matter if I heard.

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