Page 22 of Bride of Choice

What… the fuck? My hand lifted and I gently placed my cake chunk on top of his head, making sure to gently mush it in. “Whoopsie,” I whispered, cringing internally as Daisy’s brood began to softly hoot and giggle hysterically. Damage control was in my future. Serious damage control. Though, to be fair to me, Lil Miss Sunshine knew better than to ambush me like this.

Bad Jo, indeed.

Eyeing him as he blinked, staring at me like he was wondering if this was some form of deranged I love you in crazy girl speak, his gaze never left mine as he slowly lifted the hunk of cake in his hands and took a huge bite. Like he wasn’t wearing a cake chunk hat, the oversized ball of fluff then held that glob in his hand out to me.

Slapping my hand down into his, making sure to grind the cake in there real good, I leaned in to whisper, “What do you say you and I get outta here, find some fun of our own?”

The thickly built Lo denaii gulped, the sound loud as others strained to overhear us.

“Poop- Uh… J-Jo- Want- Want leave with Odix?” he garbled out.

Smiling sweetly, too sweetly, I nodded. “Mm-hm. Whaddaya say?”

Odi-Os was determined, if starting to look a lil nervous. He wanted him some of this, did he not?

Rummaging through my bag for a wet wipe or something, I paused on a notable, small Tupperware container. I’d say that might be kinda mean but… He wasn’t about to let this, his idea of us being an us, go, despite the reservations I’d guess he was having about us from the hesitant look on his face.

It was oddly sweet, in a misguided, I don’t fucking think so, hon, sort of way.

His kinda kooky called for some crazy only the village Poop girl could dish out. “Wanna get outta here and have some fun… Odix?” Making the words purr, I cackled inwardly, noting the sheen of sweat starting to form on his pronounced brow.

“Want- Want go- Want go with Od-d-d-dix?” he stumblingly repeated.

“Yep.” Using this as an opportunity to stand, I forced my chair back and jerked him where my hand still held his.

He reminded me of a little kid who’d had too much fun at a birthday party and wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave just yet.

With a put on pout, I stressed, “You do want to come play with me, don’t you?”

“Odix- Ah- Odix- Uhm- Odix-”

“Oh, goody!” I cooed, jerking him along as I called out good-byes to everyone.

Allowing me to lead him along, though he looked like he wanted to balk and run for the hills, this was my chance. We looked ridiculous, my tiny ass in comparison to his bulldozer build. It was like an ant leading a mountain. Yet he allowed me to tote him along, all the same. We weren’t even going to get into the cake hat and coated fingers, though that gave me yet another idea.

As we hit the meadow and I kept going, headed for a thicket that I’d heard a Lo denaii or two enjoyed whisking their mate off to for some water fun, I was also painfully aware of just what lay beyond that.

“Here we are!” I announced as we stood between pools of bubbling water and a large field full of patties— and not the kind you plop onto a hamburger bun and chow down with a side of fries.

Odix’s questioning gaze slid from trepidation, like he was worried I might try and ravage him or something, maybe murder him out in the woods, I had no idea, and the animals lazily grazing around their “deposits”, to utter confusion.

“Well, what are you waiting for? You said you don’t mind being with Poop girl! Let’s go! This is prime pickings!” I had to look away as I waded through, well, big old flops of dung, rummaging in my purse with my clean hand for that small container to pop the lid off.

His face. I’d be dying laughing about it later. I couldn’t have shocked the male any more than he was if I’d tried.

Or perhaps, I wondered, eyeing the water shortly, I could?

Bending as if to pick up a morsel of a big old steamy butt nugget, my swap in my hand, I lifted up the swapped out fake poop, waving it about, then popped it into my mouth to make yummy-nummy noises as I chewed.

“Come on, you’ve gotta try it!” I called out as he tried to find the words but they came out shocked splutters.

Doing this a few more times, I found a dry dung chip and picked it up. Squealing inwardly, I kept telling myself this had to be done.

“Here!” I told him as I passed him, headed for a bubbly pool. “Found a juicy one just for you!”

Odi-Os was looking a little green around the gills as I dumped my things and kicked out of my shoes. My coat, hoodie, and sweatshirt were quickly dispensed of.

I stand corrected, I thought, as Odix hastily dropped the chip I’d eagerly slapped into his hand as I passed him to gape anew at the crazy lady disrobing in front of him.

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